[blparent] laundry and consequences, was RE: The maid wants to go on strike!

Thu Jun 7 07:39:07 UTC 2012

Sorry, I just found this in my draft folder when I thought I hit send
yesterday. I did change the subject line though.

Rebecca, I used to believe the same as you on the clothing thing until it
failed miserably. Stains are what I deal with because I stay on top of the
laundry myself. Before my kid was this age I had intended that he would do
his own laundry by this age. He has the skills, he just does not really care
enough to be responsible for it.

Unfortunately the consequences we as parents may think seem logical are not
always in the least important to the child we are dealing with. This is
especially true it seems when it comes to moms and adolescent boys.

I have had more than one person suggest that kids will respond to being sent
to school in pajamas if you have trouble getting them up and dressed in the
morning. I have to check on my middle son every day to make certain he is
not wearing his pajamas or a costume to school. He is perfectly happy to go
that way.

I am always in the market to pick up new suggestions on possible
consequences that will work.

Jennifer

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)
Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 1:31 PM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!

Well, maybe he needs to miss opportunities he'd get if he dressed
appropriately, being passed over for a date or a volunteer thing or a job.

There is a difference between clothes that stink and stains. I'm not clear
which one you're dealing with.

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jennifer Jackson
Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 9:27 AM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!

Rebecca, what if the child does not care if his clothes are dirty? What if
he is perfectly willing to go around in dirty clothes? I know it is summer
time now, but my oldest son would go to school in dirty clothes. I have to
have someone sighted go through his clothes occasionally and pull out things
with stains because he will just wear them that way.

Jennifer

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)
Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 12:05 PM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!

        To put a more positive spin on this, maybe his mom enjoys waiting on
him or maybe she's got some control issues and he's gotten yelled at for not
doing things exactly as she would do them?

Not that you need to put up with this, but you may not know what went on or
goes on when he's with his mom.
If he was living with me, I'd first tell him what I expect. Then if he
ignored me, I'd make him feel the pain.  If dishes don't go where they need
to, well, he must not care so he doesn't get a place set at the next meal
because that requires clean dishes.  If his clothes are everywhere, well he
must not need them clean.

Also, I'd probably have made Sarah a nonpizza lunch and explained to her
that you're trying to train her silly stepbrother.  I say this because he's
just figured out that if Sarah wants something you'll do it.  That's not
technically fair to Sarah but it also isn't fair that you fee like the maid
and all of you need to realize you live as a group.

If you just can't say no to pizza, can you get little pizzas, only big
enough for one so Sarah can have hers and stepson can go without?

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Tuesday, June 05, 2012 5:12 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!

Hi.  Summer vacation is just beginning around here, and my stepson is living
with us during the weeks and going home to his mom on the weekends.  It's a
workable arrangement, except for one thing.  I think my stepson is used to
his mom pretty much waiting on him.  Like today, he wanted a frozen pizza
for lunch, but he made no move to get up and make it.  I finally did the job
because Sarah wanted some too.  He doesn't put dishes in the dishwasher, or
if he does, they're not rinsed first.  He doesn't see a problem with clothes
all over the floor.  The maid wants to go on strike!

Any tips for how to deal with older kids?  Sarah's young enough that she
pretty much does what I tell her, and she already knows she has to put
dishes in the sink and clothes in the hamper.  But my stepson is driving me
crazy, and I just don't have the energy to keep my house from getting to
look like Hurricane Katrina has taken up residence.

Run ragged,
Jo Elizabeth

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a
song."  Maya Angelou
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