[blparent] Explaining vision loss to children

Thu Mar 1 05:47:32 UTC 2012

Kids are amazingly adaptable.  For better or worse, they accept a wide range 
of normal, at least in their early years.  There may be questions later. 
Sarah sometimes asks me if my eyes are still broken, and why can't I get 
them fixed.  But mostly, she just goes with the flow.  She wanted a 
chapstick off a high shelf on my desk today, and I couldn't find it, so she 
just took my arm and guided my hand to where it was, sort of using my 
forearm and hand as an extension of her own arm.  She didn't even seem to 
give it a thought.

Jo Elizabeth

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, 
compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of 
the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you will have been all of 
these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943, American scientist

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Tay Laurie" <j.t.laurie at gmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, February 29, 2012 10:13 PM
To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Explaining vision loss to children

> I hope that also translates to being in a wheelchair, as well. I mean, 
> I've had fully grown adults do stuff they, I would hope, know better than 
> to. I.e after I told an acquaintence to try and not knee me in the back to 
> help me get over a thresshold, (I had my hands full of the thanksgiving 
> turkey) she did it anyway. BUt it was just her, I think.
> It might be hard to explain to the kids that Mommy doesn't always walk, 
> she has to roll around and to keep little fingers and toes out of the way. 
> Explaining epilepsy is going to be fun, too. THere's going to have to be 
> plenty of rearrangement done.
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
> To: <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, February 29, 2012 4:50 PM
> Subject: [blparent] Explaining vision loss to children
>
>
>> Debbie,
>>
>> With my nephews and nieces, and now Penny, it has been just a natural
>> discussion and progression. They all have pretty quickly realized my
>> husband and I didn't always respond the way others did, and on their own
>> volition have started doing things like handing objects to us or tapping
>> us when wanting to be picked up instead of holding arms up or using
>> words, once speaking, instead of visual cues when wanting something.
>>
>> Perhaps we have had it a bit easier than some, but the blindness "issue"
>> hasn't been that big of a deal. The kids range in age from eight to two
>> now, but it has never been odd when Uncle Ross and Aunt Bridgey do
>> things a little differently like actually touching their food to see how
>> much has been eaten or placing a hand on their head to feel if they are
>> nodding yes or no or asking them to use words or come to us when we call
>> their name. We did at some point start discussing that Bridgey and
>> Ross's eyes don't work very well, but that's not a bad thing, it just
>> means we sometimes may use a different tool to accomplish things.
>> They've had questions as they grow older and understand more and more,
>> but it has never been awkward for either party.
>>
>> I think the constant exposure has helped along with their parents not
>> making it a big deal either. They also see us doing "normal" things like
>> house chores, reading, cooking, going to the park or running errands,
>> etc, which continues to instill the idea that we are like everyone else
>> even if we do some things a bit differently. They all love riding the
>> bus when with my husband and I, grin. It is a novelty to them, something
>> cool. And all the kids have asked to learn Braille at some point in
>> time; our six-year-old niece actually picked up grade 1 Braille at age
>> four.
>>
>> And of course, each has wanted to play with the canes. We have always
>> told them that a white cane is not a toy, and shown them how to use it,
>> and they all now know how to use proper cane technique. Penny, who is
>> two, picked this up around age one and continues to use it properly when
>> wanting to hold one of our canes.
>>
>> Because they have all been around us so much, it is not unusual or
>> weird. Whenever we leave the house, one of the first things Penny does
>> is hand us our canes. And when the now eight-year-old was four, he poked
>> holes in his Christmas wish list for Ross and I so we could read it.
>> None of them have ever been scared or concerned when in our care either.
>> I think the most important element is to reiterate that being blind is
>> not scary, and that people with blindness do things just like everyone
>> else, but we do use some different tools and methods at times.
>>
>> Since the children you refer to are older, perhaps they can help grandma
>> bake cookies or clean the house to see how she does things. This can
>> reinforce how different techniques work just as well along with
>> "showing" instead of "telling" how grandma can do things, and allaying
>> any fears and concerns the grandchildren may have. I've found that
>> approaching the subject naturally and in a laid-back manner works best.
>>
>> And let the kids ask questions. I often come across parents who stifle
>> their kids questions when encountering my husband or me, and I'd rather
>> they ask questions than grow up thinking this is wrong, and most likely
>> perpetuating negative ideas towards blindness. Kids are very willing to
>> have faith in something whereas many adults find it difficult to grasp
>> certain ideas. If more people were exposed to positive ideas about
>> disability at a younger age, we may have more adults not so willing to
>> buy into old notions.
>>
>> Sincerely,
>> Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
>> Read my blog at:
>> http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
>>
>> "History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
>> The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan
>>
>> Message: 11
>> Date: Tue, 28 Feb 2012 17:13:07 -0600
>> From: "Deborah Kent Stein" <dkent5817 at att.net>
>> To: "Multiple recipients of NFBnet blparent Mailing List"
>> <blparent at NFBnet.org>
>> Subject: [blparent] Explaining Vision Loss to Children
>> Message-ID: <00d801ccf66e$89745600$d70aa8c0 at Debbie>
>> Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="iso-8859-1";
>> reply-type=original
>>
>>
>> I received a query from a sighted mom who wants ideas about how to
>> explain
>> her mother's progressive vision loss to her children - i.e., her mother
>> is
>> the children's grandmother.  The children are eight and five years old,
>> and
>> have always known their grandmother as fully sighted.  If you have any
>> thoughts or suggestions, I'll pass them along.
>>
>> Debbie
>>
>>
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