[blparent] Teaching society about blindness

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

I truly don't think there's necessarily a "right" or "wrong" way in
which to educate people about blindness. In my experience, you really
need to take each instance as an individual instance. As the saying
goes, there is a time and place for everything.

Sometimes, I find it perfectly appropriate and non-awkward to initiate
the conversation upon being introduced to people, and other times, I
feel it's not necessary to bring it up unless someone else approaches me
about it.

With so much misinformation out there about blindness, and people not
using common sense before asking questions, I want to go into each
situation with guns blazing, armed and ready to stamp out negative
stereotypes and attitudes. I also find that even when I have the
opportunity to answer questions, tell my story and attempt to change
mindsets, the usual response is that I'm so amazing for waking up each
day with a smile on my face; that I'm a brave soul who has some ability
to do things without sight that the average person just can not
accomplish. Even when I point-blank say I'm not unique and a brave soul,
people still think this way.

So, I have found it better, for me and others, to judge each situation
as it happens. Generally, just being present, doing "normal" things,
socializing with people, going about my day, suffices and has more of a
positive impact than anything I can say. As the other saying goes,
actions speak louder than words.

I also find that when I make an effort to visually look put-together,
participating in activities and events along with sighted people and not
relating everything back to my blindness, people respond to this and
feel comfortable around me, and they often are less likely to focus on
my blindness as well.

While in university, I made a point to participate in group activities
and do my share of the work along with my team. Even if I had to use an
alternative method such as Braille or JAWS, I participated in class
activities. In my particular program, it was very small so many of us
had classes together over a four year period. We got to know one another
more so than most college classes, and were familiar with each other's
work. My classmates reached a point when the blindness was just one part
of me. It stopped being a novelty; they learned a lot, their words, not
mine, just by showing up to class and doing what they did. From time to
time I heard the comments about how some people knew, or had known, a
blind person, but they didn't "act" like me. One of my instructors had
had a blind student only a couple years before me, and they were so
taken aback by how different I was in terms of what I did independently
and how I "handled" my disability.

I too do not say this to brag, but to display how much power we can
wield just by living as independently as possible. There was a time when
my husband and I didn't hold hands because I didn't want to be accused
of being dependent because he had some useable vision, and yes, this
comment had been made once or twice. We both finally realized that we
can't live our lives for others, and we are in love and like to hold
hands. It took me time, though, to learn what truly was independent and
dependent. I since have learned that asking for help is a part of being
independent at times for anyone, disabled or not. And when I just simply
live my life without constantly thinking of how others perceive my
actions, or if I'm positively influencing society, I find I have less
stress, make fewer mistakes and actually have more of a positive impact
on people.

So my advice is to relax and live life. Learn to be independent, learn
what tools and methods work best for you, but don't enter each situation
in life with education as your number one priority. We will naturally be
placed under the microscope at times, so if we already have made
something a part of our lifestyle, we don't need to worry.

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
 
"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan

Message: 15
Date: Tue, 6 Mar 2012 08:30:32 -0500
From: "Eileen Levin" <eileenlevin at comcast.net>
To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Teaching society about blindness
Message-ID: <005b01ccfb9d$4e6a5350$eb3ef9f0$@comcast.net>
Content-Type: text/plain;	charset="us-ascii"

" When I run into females, even blind parents, I often break the ice
with
what I call a "conversation starter."  For people I meet, I tell them
about
my blindness after I introduce myself.  "

Dear Eric,
First, I have no idea why you single out females for this approach. From
a
female perspective,  that's a bit weird!

Second, being passionate about something can be very constructive. It
also
indicates a certain amount of need to deal with the subject one is
passionate about. I'll be the first to admit that I am still dealing
with my
blindness. However, when I meet people I want them to understand that my
life is not consumed by blindness. I'm blind. Blindness has forced me to
adjust and change so that I can provide for my family and parent my
children. However, when I'm talking with other parents I want to talk
about
our kids, current events, normal stuff that the average person likes to
chat
about. If blindness happens to make it's way into the conversation I'm
OK
with explaining how I cope with this or that. People who confide in me
say
that I don't seem blind, which is silly since my eyes look damaged and I
very much need a dog or cane to stay safe!  One thing I have noticed
over
the years is that the folks most likely to talk to me already have
someone
in the family with some kind of issue beyond the scope of "normal". It's
not
the first thing they talk about. I usually discover the fact aftger
knowing
them for quite some time.  Sometimes they want to know why their loved
one
doesn't come across as capable as I do. I do my best to find out the
facts.
Generally the loved  one is newly blinded or having medical problems
that
consume all of their energy leaving very little space for adapting to
blindness.   I also let them know that I had years of mobility and other
adaptvie techniques training which really helps.


Have fun educating the world about blindness. I would also encourage you
to
try a conversation that is blindness free. The results may surprise you.
Have a great day,
Eileen