[blparent] Pregnancy and food- Helpers pushing beliefs on you

Tue Mar 20 19:14:05 UTC 2012

Hi there,
I really am sorry that you have to go through all of this. I don't
envy you. I think his reaction to members reactions of your marriage
was totally uncalled for and should be reported to the stake president
as well. Though maybe if you just talked with him and explained what
he has done and how it has made you feel he would at least come around
and be a friend and support. My husband knows more about church
workings and administrations than I do so if you would like to ever
talk to either of us you can email me off list and I can give you my
phone number. What part of Utah do you guys live in? Is there anyway
that you guys could change branches or wards? Just some thoughts. I'd
hate for you to become inactive and stop worshiping the Lord of other
peopl's stupidness.
Good luck!
Kathy

On 3/20/12, Tay Laurie <j.t.laurie at gmail.com> wrote:
> It probably is, but it was herbal tea, not black or green or white tea at
> all. She just, ugh. I'm going to try to make it to church this Sunday to
> talk to the branch president again. He pulled the same stunt over our
> wedding, saying that the marriage was causing way too much strife among the
> members, wh osaid we shouldn't get married because we're both disabled.
> Yeah, that really bit hard.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Kevin Athey" <familyathey at gmail.com>
> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, March 20, 2012 11:19 AM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Pregnancy and food- Helpers pushing beliefs on you
>
>
>> Tay,
>> I would suggest talking with the Branch president again. It is not
>> right for this lady to have continually lie about something. It is
>> like she is judging  you for your decision for drinking tea. Maybe she
>> thinks taht if she is seen helping you buy tea that it is going to
>> have others in the ward/branch talking about her. It doesn't excuse
>> her but maybe that's the case. I wouldn't use her again. Oh, and if
>> the branch pres doesn't listen I would try going above him to the
>> stake president. This is not a matter that should break up a branch or
>> ward and have members back bitting and gossiping about one another.
>> (No I'm not saying that's what you're doing) but if you have other
>> neighbors mentioning it I'm sure it's causing friction amongst other
>> members.
>>
>> Kathy
>>
>> On 3/20/12, Tay Laurie <j.t.laurie at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> IMHO, there is nothing immature about expecting someone to practice what
>>> they preach. For someone who gave an awful lot of emphasis on being
>>> "honest
>>> in your dealing with your fellow man", selective blindness and lying, I
>>> would have hoped, weren't in the cards. How is that being immature?
>>> We did compensate her, by making her dinner. That being said, we didn't
>>> realise half the stuff on our list she wouldn't/didn't/couldn't help us
>>> find, because she didn't want to see it there. Her lying was what got me,
>>> because the next time my husband went, the tea was right where I told him
>>> and the clerk it would be. I also pointed out to one of our neighbours
>>> who
>>> helps us out alot what happened, and her response was, "Yeah, that
>>> happens
>>> alot around here, and especially in this ward". I'm not saying all LDS
>>> are
>>> bad. My husband and I are both baptised, but after all we've seen, it's
>>> hard
>>> to keep going back. But what I'm trying to say is, when someone helps us,
>>> their truth should, hopefully, be the concrete truth. He even reached out
>>> and was able to recognise the box that particular brand of tea came in,
>>> but
>>> couldn't figure out which variety. He asked and she simply said, "I don't
>>> see it. what are you talking about?". That to me shows a lack of
>>> understanding and a willingness to lie for your own ends.
>>> And for someone who placed, as I said, a ton of emphasis on being honest,
>>> that's inexcusible.
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Robert Shelton" <rshelton1 at gmail.com>
>>> To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Monday, March 19, 2012 7:47 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Pregnancy and food- Helpers pushing beliefs on
>>> you
>>>
>>>
>>>> >PMS-ing are we? There's nothing immature about this.
>>>> Oh yes there is.  I beg to differ.  Do you really think that people
>>>> always
>>>> tell you "the truth?"  Under the best of circumstances, they tell you
>>>> their
>>>> truth.  Maybe it works, maybe it doesn't.  You evaluate and use the
>>>> information as you will.
>>>>
>>>> I think we're all making a lot of assumptions here.  None of us know,
>>>> and,
>>>> it's actually none of our business, what was Tay's arrangement with
>>>> those
>>>> who were helping her.  I keep seeing the word "job" coming up in this
>>>> discussion.  It's no one's "job" to help me or anyone else unless they
>>>> get
>>>> compensated for it.
>>>>
>>>>>I mean, if we take the attitude you suggest, we should "grow up" when
>>>> people say we can't raise children simply because we are blind, or we
>>>>  >are
>>>> not qualified for employment, or that we can not care for ourselves.
>>>> Where did I say that?  I was suggesting taking a mature, reasoned, and
>>>> yes,
>>>> perhaps a bit jaded view of "help" which we receive.  Accounting for
>>>> predictable inaccuracies in what we are told is part of being an adult
>>>> human
>>>> being.  Do you believe everything you read online.  It's more or less
>>>> the
>>>> same idea -- I believe it's called critical thinking.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: Bridgit Pollpeter [mailto:bpollpeter at hotmail.com]
>>>> Sent: Sunday, March 18, 2012 4:57 PM
>>>> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
>>>> Subject: [blparent] Pregnancy and food- Helpers pushing beliefs on you
>>>>
>>>> PMS-ing are we? There's nothing immature about this. Just because a
>>>> person
>>>> is assisting in some capacity does not mean my wants and needs are
>>>> subject
>>>> to their approval. If I want a specific product when shopping, it's the
>>>> assistants "job" to find that product. I mean, if we take the attitude
>>>> you
>>>> suggest, we should "grow up" when people say we can't raise children
>>>> simply
>>>> because we are blind, or we are not qualified for employment, or that we
>>>> can
>>>> not care for ourselves. When you get down to it, how is this any
>>>> different?
>>>> These people are  just helping us, and according to you, we should,
>>>> accept
>>>> them" just because they are helping us. This, by your definition, means
>>>> we
>>>> do not make our rights, wants, needs vocal; we are just accepting said
>>>> person's beliefs and ideas. Assist means to serve, to help; if we adopt
>>>> the
>>>> mindset that we should just do what others suggest, we say it's okay to
>>>> not
>>>> treat our needs and wants in an equal manner. If I state what I want to
>>>> buy,
>>>> an assistant "helps" me to find that item, not lie about it, not judge,
>>>> not
>>>> refuse to find it. Where's the immaturity in this?
>>>>
>>>> Sincerely,
>>>> Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
>>>> Read my blog at:
>>>> http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
>>>>
>>>> "History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
>>>> The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan
>>>>
>>>> Message: 4
>>>> Date: Sat, 17 Mar 2012 20:57:00 -0500
>>>> From: "Robert Shelton" <rshelton1 at gmail.com>
>>>> To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Pregnancy and food- helpers pushing beliefs on
>>>> you
>>>> Message-ID: <000001cd04aa$691cf7f0$3b56e7d0$@com>
>>>> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
>>>>
>>>> Interesting... When you accept help, then you accept the person who is
>>>> helping you.  Grow up and get over it.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>> blparent mailing list
>>>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>>>> blparent:
>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/j.t.laurie%40gmail.com
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> blparent mailing list
>>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>>> blparent:
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/familyathey%40gmail.com
>>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> blparent mailing list
>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> blparent:
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/j.t.laurie%40gmail.com
>>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> blparent:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/familyathey%40gmail.com
>