[blparent] an update

Fri Mar 30 17:26:43 UTC 2012

I quietly read this list from the shadows and rarely respond, so hope it's
ok that I poke my head out now.... sorry for the length.

I am with you Nikki, regarding the deep concern for medicating your son.
 It is certainly one to weigh the benefits vs risks.  Is his behavior only
attempting to be changed to make life easier for the adults around him,
both in school and at home?  In my working with children, I more often than
not see behavior issues a parenting issue rather then a true need for
medication - but along with many other factors as well.

Before medication is EVER turned to, one should look at their own parenting
abilities and the possible need for classes - a way to learn further
discipline and guiding ideas so you can pull what you feel to be best for
your child.  In addition, support groups could be helpful as well, as
parenting a child that is not "typical" is exhausting, especially when all
around you are putting your parenting abilities down when you are doing the
very best you can and trying to learn all you can to help your child more.
 It is SO easy to just have a child pop a pill instead.... it can make
adults lives much easier, and although it can seem to make a childs life
easier as well, it is quite possible that it is not so for their their
future and brain development.

Without doubt, have a food allergies test done - not the one that nly
measure + or -, but rather the level of sensitivity with an actual number
 to those foods (90+ most common).  Keep in mind though, that although a
test could say your child isn't allergic, he absolutely could be sensitive
and it can be a trial and error for test runs of months by cutting out
certain types of foods.  SUGAR - this is in EVERYTHING it seems, and being
a drug itself it's one of the most difficult things to control in ones
diet, especially children, but one of the first things that should be cut
out as well as food dyes, usually Red:
http://www.beyondallergy.com/food-allergies/food-dye-allergies.php ,
http://eveliens.hubpages.com/hub/Health-Synthetic-Food-Dyes-The-Seven-Deadly-Dyes

I refused to put my children on medication, and ended up taking a very
hyperactive ADHD and aspergers child off of his medication during the 8mo
he lived with me (although he did go to school with half his original dose
because it DID help as he learned how to handle himself without
medication).  Your concerns are understandable - - it is in the
same category as cocaine:
http://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/addiction/issues/ritalin.html ,
http://news.softpedia.com/news/Ritalin-and-Cocaine-Have-Identical-Effects-on-the-Brain-103929.shtml

Nikki, you are in the unfortunate position of living with your parents.
 This puts them in the position of "parenting" your son for, or with, you.
 I personally would get out asap and on your own, with your son, and parent
him yourself.  It sounds like you both believe on opposite sides of what is
best for your son, and they are in the position of being effected by his
behavior and feel medication would be best.  I feel it is unfair to expect
to live under their roof, expect them to deal with his behavior, and expect
them to follow what you feel to be best for him... and expect them to just
deal with it.  Move.  If finances are the concern, there is a lot of help
available to single parents.  Move, and follow what YOU feel to be best.
 The discipline issue?  This quite possibly could be a main issue because
there's a pull of who is to be respected and rules to be followed when you
both aren't on the same page.  What a challenging position for a child to
be in.

Go to the appt, ask questions, learn what you can - requests the testing
you would like to have done, and "think about it".  You could also find a
homeopathic doctor who also is an MD.  They are more difficult to fine, but
know how to cross the two, as there's a time and place for everything.
 That may appease your parents as well as a doctor who truly understands
where you're coming from and can help from a more natural direction as well.

Good luck!

On Fri, Mar 30, 2012 at 9:43 AM, Angie Matney <angie.matney at gmail.com>wrote:

> Given that medical marijuana is only legal in a few states, this isn't
> possible.
>
> Angie
>
>
>
> On 3/30/12, sabrina <coco2879 at gmail.com> wrote:
> > Hi Nikki,
> > First of all I have no idea what is going on with your son I just joined
> > this list a few days ago, but I can certainly  understand your concern.
>  Why
> > not just reschedule the appointment just to see what the doctors say?  I
> > agree your dad shouldn't have taken it upon himself to schedule the
> > appointment without your consent.  That's what it seems like he did
> anyway,
> > based on your message.
> > Please keep us updated in any case, I want to findout how your son is...
> > Thinking of you,
> > Sabrina
> > .
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> On
> > Behalf Of Nikki
> > Sent: Friday, March 30, 2012 1:42 AM
> > To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> > Subject: [blparent] an update
> >
> > Hi all. Yes, I have returned, but this time, like a ghost.
> >
> > I will say this once. I understand everyone has opinions and are
> entitled to
> > them. I’m not here to start an argument with you fine ladies and
> gentlemen.
> >
> > I’m dreading an appointment for my son, with the Behavioral Health
> > specialist just so they can tell me my kid has ADD or ADHD. I’ve already
> > told them and I’m making this clear to you, that I will not give my kid
> > medicine because of an imbalance in the brain. In case you didn’t know,
> the
> > medicines the doctors put your kids on for ADD and ADHD, have
> marijuanaand
> > cocaine in them. So it keeps your kid doped up and just keeps them sick.
> > So, I don’t know why my dad wants this appointment. He knows how I feel
> > about avoiding any kind of medicine.
> > There is a ray of hope here, the doctor that suggested the Behavioral
> Health
> > testing, said that after the testing they’ll see about getting him tested
> > for food allergies.
> >
> > Part of that tells me they’re trying to control what I do with my son
> > because when we went to the doctor, my dad started talking about his
> > behavior in school. All because the doctor asked. When I was just going
> to
> > get the food allergy testing first. I have a strong belief that the
> behavior
> > has to do with a food allergy we don’t know about and they want us to
> wait!
> > I have one week to decide if I should cancel the appointment my dad and
> the
> > doctor made.
> > _______________________________________________
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> >
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