[blparent] And now there are two

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

Congrats on your new little one! My husband and I are expecting a little
boy in early September. We currently have a two-and-a-half-year-old who
we only have on weekends. She's actually our niece, but it's a
complicated situation. Anyway, we will also be dealing with a similar
situation to yours.

I recently wrote my last World Herald blog about changing a diaper
nonvisually. My editor wanted me to address the concerns and fears I
have about parenting nonvisually, and how much of a challenge it will
be. Helping to raise Penny and lots of experience with other nephews and
nieces, Ross and I have learned a lot that will be beneficial once we
have a full-time kid. To date, I can honestly say blindness has played a
very small part in the concerns we have as parents. Once you actually
are in the situation, you realize that what you do as a parent, and the
concerns you have, differ very little from sighted parents.

I had to tell my editor that when it comes to blindness, Ross and I
don't have specific fears beyond the potential ignorance of other
people. When we consider our concerns and what education we need, it
tends to be the same as any other parent. We have not found it to be
more overwhelming to parent nonvisually than with sight.

Having said all that, parenting, especially with more than one child,
can be overwhelming and tiresome. It's definitely a job and takes a ton
of trial and error, patience, understanding and determination. I have
found parenting to be the most grueling but rewarding job ever. Sorry to
wax cheesey, but this is how I feel.

Nonvisual parenting really is about problem-solving. To date, it hasn't
taken Ross and I more than a few minutes in which to figure things out
when blindness does create a small obstacle. Feeding the kids when
younger was probably the most challenging thing for me so far. Ross, who
is also blind, is really good with feeding, so I let him do it when
home, smile, but it took me some trial and error to figure out the best
way, for me, to feed the kids when starting jar and table food. As we
will now have a full-time child, I know many other scenarios will arise,
but I honestly don't fear, or am concerned, the level of difficulty in
relation to my blindness. Even when I am not sure how to do something,
I'm confident I will figure it out, or that I can turn to those I trust,
including this listserve, for suggestions and advice.

The best advice I can give is to not doubt your ability to do anything.
You may not have the answers, but don't allow this to rule your mindset
about your ability. Trust yourself as a parent, and don't let others
dictate how, what and when you do things. Help is necessary for all
people, so don't hesitate to ask for help and assistance, but also be
aware that you have the ability to parent as well as anyone else.

Congrats again and good luck. I know you will discover the methods that
work best for you and your family.

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
 
"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan

Message: 3
Date: Wed, 2 May 2012 14:34:21 -0400
From: Jennifer Bose <jen10514 at gmail.com>
To: blparent <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [blparent] And now there are two!
Message-ID:
	
<CAAvtZKFUUm_8YywsjnOR808i2kr-6HEQeXpj2Fv+On62hR5-zg at mail.gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Hi, fellow blind parents.

I post pretty infrequently on this list, but I've learned a great deal
from all of you. I'm Jennifer Bose and I live in Brookline,
Massachusetts, with my husband Sunish Gupta, who worked several years
ago on the project to build the early model of the KNFB Reader. Yes, I'm
bragging on him a little. Naming our babies has been interesting since
we've tried to find names that would represent their backgrounds; I'm
American and he grew up in India. We have our 2-1/2-year-old daughter,
Abigail Tulsi, and as of last Friday we have a newborn daughter, Tara
Isabel. We're both very happy with two.

I remember asking this list how blind parents manage two children and we
got great responses. It's not that I don't believe it can be done; I
know we're certainly not the first. My head knows that there are all
sorts of solutions, but my emotions play tricks on me. Well, I'll put
that down to normal parental anxiety and ask any of you who have
multiple children to tell me everything I need to know. I'll take any
tips you care to send along, especially about managing a toddler and a
newborn. My husband and I are generally pretty independent and have done
very well with one child, but with two, we're in a new zone. So please
let me know what you've done or what you would suggest for us. I'm
grateful for any and all help.

Thanks so much. This is a tremendous resource.

Jen