[blparent] when children get hurt

[Ronit Ovadia Mazzoni]

Hi Jo Elizabeth,
My son is only 13 months old. Your tips are helpful, although I think my son's personality is much more dramatic than your daughter's. :) Even when I know he has not hurt himself badly he will scream and I always calmly tell him he's ok and that it's no big deal, etc etc but it never helps him calm down. We call him a "drama king." :) I think that must be part of my worry, because when he is crying and screaming like crazy, it could be for something very little or for something much more serious and he would react the same. 
Thanks for your tips.
Ronit

On May 29, 2012, at 1:58 PM, Jo Elizabeth Pinto wrote:

> Hi, Ronit.  How old is your son?
> 
> One of the things I've done, which has seemed shocking to some people till I explain it, is that I've discouraged the hysterical crying and flailing that sometimes happens when a child gets hurt.  I've sat down with my daughter and held her on my lap so she couldn't flop around and wave her arms.  Then I've insisted that she take slow, deep breaths.  I did this even when she was less than two years old, so that after a while it became almost automatic for her to calm down.  Then, when she was old enough to talk, if she wasn't bleeding when I inspected her, I'd always say, "No blood, no foul."  Like in basketball.  After a while, she started saying it herself. And the few times that she has been bleeding, she has showed me, and said, "There's blood this time, Mommy!"
> 
> A month or two ago, Sarah and I were in Sam's Club with her dad, and she was standing on the front of the shopping cart.  Yes, yes, dangerous, I know, we talked about that in another thread.  Anywayy, she fell, and the cashier and the door greeter gasped, thinking she was going to start wailing.  She got up, dusted herself off, and said, "No blood, no foul."  They were very surprised.
> 
> I think overall, my approach has taught Sarah that hurting herself isn't something to be terrified of.  Some in my family have complained that I didn't allow Sarah to express her emotions in the moment.  Maybe I didn't, but I believe fear feeds fear, and calm feeds calm.  I figured I needed calm so I could inspect for injuries, or, as Sarah has gotten older, let her show me where she's hurt.  I've seen other kids who get a small scratch or bump, and scream and cry like they're being drawn and quartered, and I've been glad I showed Sarah another way to handle things.
> 
> I hope this helps.
> 
> Jo Elizabeth
> 
> "A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song."  Maya Angelou
> 
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Ronit Ovadia Mazzoni" <rovadia82 at gmail.com>
> Sent: Tuesday, May 29, 2012 2:41 PM
> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: [blparent] when children get hurt
> 
>> Hi list,
>> I have a question which may seem silly to many of you but I would appreciate any tips you may have. Whenever Alex falls down or gets hurt somehow and I am not right there to see what happened, I am having a hard time knowing how he hurt himself and the severity of the injury. I know this will be happening more once he learns to walk and I'd love your ideas on how to handle this. Whenever I know he has hurt himself, I always inspect as best I can with my hands to see if I feel any blood. Often times, however, he doesn't let me check him out thoroughly because he is crying and he pushes my hands away. HE is not old enough to tell me what hurts. We had an incident at the park a few weeks ago when he cut his lip on a wooden rocking horse and luckily my husband was there to help figure out how bad it was and to put water on it etc, but I am terrified that he will get more seriously hurt when I am by myself and I may not know what he hurt and how bad it is. What have you all done?
>> 
>> Thanks in advance for your comments.
>> Ronit
>> 
>> 
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