[blparent] when children get hurt

Wed May 30 00:29:23 UTC 2012

Please know Jo Elizabeth that you didn't come off as a hard ass at all in
your first post about this subject.  I like to especially use that calm
breathing when my son's having a toddler fit and it works like a charm.
He's really not much of a crier when he hurts himself unless it really hurt
so I don't have to do a whole lot to get him relaxed to check him out
thankfully.

Erin

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Tuesday, May 29, 2012 5:24 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] when children get hurt

Dawson is a lucky boy to have such a nurturing mommy.

The reason I've stressed getting Sarah calm right away, with the breathing
and listening to the sound of my voice, is that I really need to know in a
hurry if she's just tripped or bumped herself, or if she's seriously hurt. 
I try to take some of the drama out of it so that without seeing, and
quickly, I can distinguish a little hurt from a big one.  Once I know she's
fine, I'll hold her as long as she wants me to, and she likes to cuddle up
for a second and then kiss me on the nose.  Not sure where that one came
from.  Then she's down from my lap and off again.  But I've seen so many
kids in the neighborhood or in the grocery store crying forever over some
hurt, like they're going to die, and I think too much cooing and fussing
over them makes the trauma and drama last longer than it has to.

As an example, Sarah came to me quite casually when she got home from school
today and showed me a huge bruise on her arm.  I would say it's as big
around as a golf ball, but not raised up that much from the surrounding
skin.  I'm kind of surprised the teacher didn't tell me she got hurt, but I
guess Sarah didn't make an issue of it.  She couldn't remember how it
happened, so I'll just keep an eye on it for a day or to.  But, for
instance, our next door neighbor who just moved away, had a four-year-old
who would have ruined her whole day over that bruise.

I hope I don't sound like a hard ass.  Sarah gets as much comfort as she
needs, and plenty of affection.  But she knows since she can get it any time
she wants it, she doesn't have to play up her bumps and bruises in trade for
cuddles and kisses.

Anyway, I have to go round them up for dinner.

Jo Elizabeth

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a
song."  Maya Angelou

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Erin Rumer" <erinrumer at gmail.com>
Sent: Tuesday, May 29, 2012 6:10 PM
To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] when children get hurt

> With my son I have always gone to him calmly and picked him up to 
> comfort him, unless I know he barely did anything and then I'll just 
> verbally coach
> him through it   by asking him if he's alright in a concerned but mellow
> voice.  If he's crying because he did hurt himself I'm hugging him and 
> telling him to "hug the pane away" and I inspect him slowly to check 
> for any injuries.  I first try to see if my son is touching a certain 
> spot like his head or hand to tell me what he's hurt.  I also am 
> taking a survey of the area in my mind to think of what's around and 
> what my son could have hurt himself on.  I just speak calmly and 
> quietly which helps him to calm quickly and I speak to him with 
> understanding saying things like, "That hurt didn't it?" or "Did you 
> get an Ouchy?"  I don't make a big deal about him getting hurt but I 
> also want him to know that I'm empathetic.  Then once I know he's 
> alright I kiss his Ouchy, tell him how strong he is and have him show 
> me his big muscles which he always likes and-or I sometimes playfully 
> give the thing that hurt him a spanking if I know what it was.  Most 
> times this gets my son feeling better right away when I take the focus 
> off of him and firmly tell the table to, "be nice to my Dawson".  The 
> spanking thing is something my mom used with me and she said it always 
> made me feel better.  Sometimes if my son is really hurt and it's not 
> just a bump or little fall, I'll just hold him and hug him and nursing 
> also often times comforts him quickly.
>
> Erin
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Ronit Ovadia Mazzoni
> Sent: Tuesday, May 29, 2012 1:42 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: [blparent] when children get hurt
>
> Hi list,
> I have a question which may seem silly to many of you but I would 
> appreciate
> any tips you may have. Whenever Alex falls down or gets hurt somehow and I
> am not right there to see what happened, I am having a hard time knowing 
> how
> he hurt himself and the severity of the injury. I know this will be
> happening more once he learns to walk and I'd love your ideas on how to
> handle this. Whenever I know he has hurt himself, I always inspect as best

> I
> can with my hands to see if I feel any blood. Often times, however, he
> doesn't let me check him out thoroughly because he is crying and he pushes
> my hands away. HE is not old enough to tell me what hurts. We had an
> incident at the park a few weeks ago when he cut his lip on a wooden 
> rocking
> horse and luckily my husband was there to help figure out how bad it was 
> and
> to put water on it etc, but I am terrified that he will get more seriously
> hurt when I am by myself and I may not know what he hurt and how bad it 
> is.
> What have you all done?
>
> Thanks in advance for your comments.
> Ronit
>
>
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