[blparent] What's the right thing to do?

[Erin Rumer]

Yes, you did the right thing indeed.  It was not this woman's call to make but yours because you are the parent.  It sounds like something is going on with this lady to get to the point of screaming at you on the phone over it.  I'm glad your daughter was able to go after you found a different ride and that she had a nice time with you and even had some other kids to play with.  At four years old there is no reason a child can't go to something like this and it's a perfect opportunity to teach a child that age how to play quietly.  I always remember feeling extra special and respected to get to go to things like that with my mom or aunt or grandma and it's times like that when I learned a lot of manners and how to act like a little lady.

Have a great night.

Erin

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Robert Shelton
Sent: Sunday, November 11, 2012 6:43 PM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] What's the right thing to do?

You did *exactly* the right thing.  If you could see and drive, there would be no such conversation.  Ever think about how many people bring obnoxious kids to whatever event and make no attempt to control their behavior.  Bravo for you, and I'll bet I'm not alone on this one.

-----Original Message-----
From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto [mailto:jopinto at msn.com] 
Sent: Saturday, November 10, 2012 9:51 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: [blparent] What's the right thing to do?

Okay, here’s the thing.  We had really snowy weather today.  A friend offered to drive me to a potluck and church service that we had tonight.  But she said she wanted me to leave my daughter with her dad because the church service would be more peaceful without a four-year-old tagging along, which I must admit is true.  However, I had printed out a bunch of mazes for my daughter to do, and explained to her that she needed to be quiet in church, the same as on Sundays.  So I said no, I would prefer to take my daughter with me.  She wanted to go because she likes the music and the goodies that always come with potlucks, and I’d like to encourage her if she enjoys going to church.  Well, my friend started to argue very strongly against it.  So I told her it was fine, I would arrange another ride.  I felt it was fair for my friend to say she didn’t feel up to taking my little girl and me to church, but she crossed the line when she tried to make the decision that my daughter couldn’t come.  She got really angry, ended up screaming at me and hanging up the phone, and she didn’t go to the church service at all.  I’m really sorry it happened that way, but I don’t believe I went out of line by saying if she didn’t want to bring my child, I would find another way to get to the service.  I felt like my friend never would have said that to a sighted parent.

So, was I thinking right?  I got a ride from another church friend.  There were a couple of other kids there for my daughter to play with.  But I feel really bad about how things turned out.  Have any of you ever faced this as blind parents?

Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.


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