[blparent] how to handle a baby while you multi task

Wed Nov 14 21:30:30 UTC 2012

Hina, these are also things that you might be able to find cheep at a second
hand store or even from other ladies in a church or from neighbors.  Just
ask around and you'll be amazed with what people have sitting in their homes
that they're no longer using and want to find a good home for.

Erin

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of hina altaf
Sent: Wednesday, November 14, 2012 12:43 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] how to handle a baby while you multi task

hi everyone,
Thanks for the advise on how to handle the baby. I liked your options about
a rug,  play pen, swing and jumping seat but these are things I wish I could
afford. My husband has other responsibilities as well and he helps alot with
the baby when I am at work. I am not a citizen, so I can't afford the day
care and i do not prefer to keep my child in day care but when you are the
only person running the household financially, you have no choice but to
work.
But I appreciate the suggestions in regards to handling the baby and will
see if I could get any of these items. but if anyone has any of these things
that they are no longer using them, I would appreciate them.
Thanks.
Hina.

On 11/14/12, Bernadetta <bernadetta_pracon at samobile.net> wrote:
> Rebecca,
> Woe, aren't you overstepping the line here a little? Don't answer 
> that; I don't think you'll agree that you are.
> But unless you know hina and hina's situation on a more personal level 
> than the rest of us, who are you to make assumptions on her 
> relationship with her husband? While you may have one valid point, 
> that parents might find that spending time together with their baby is 
> more enjoyable than separately, you went ahead and made a bunch of 
> comments about being miserable, about separation, etc.
> Correct me if I'm wrong here, but Hina asked us for suggestions on how 
> to handle her child when she needs to multitask. She didnt' ask for a 
> marriage councelor. There's no reason to be sticking one's nose into 
> someone else's marital life when they haven't asked anyone to do so.
> Perhaps you think you're being helpful, but in case you haven't 
> considered this, not everyone can afford to have one parent stay at 
> home from work. Also, not everyone can afford to invest in daycare. In 
> this case, both parents have to work alternating schedules, and there 
> may be no way around it. Some people don't have certain luxuries, no 
> matter how much they can benefit from them.
> So unless you know something I dont' know, let's not pit a new mother 
> against her husband and tell her what she should and shouldn't do 
> about her marriage and lifestyle. Let's instead support her as a 
> parent and if she asks us for advice on her relationships and how her 
> free time should be spent, then we can perhaps dispense that sort of
advice.
> My partner and I are lucky enough to both work from home, and so we do 
> have that cherrished time with our baby together, but even partners 
> who are both with the baby constantly have to alternate responsibilities.
> Sometimes I feel like we're doing shifts and we both have two other 
> jobs in conjunction with our paying jobs; Our home and our baby. Often 
> we can enjoy time together as a family, but sometimes our household 
> runs more eficiently and smoothly when we take turns.
> So it's nice that you have this wonderfully idealistic view of how co 
> parenting should work, but as we all know, being a parent is a tough 
> job. And while we're on the topic of tough jobs, a marriage wouldn't 
> be a genuine partnership without a few tough times now and then. 
> Anyone who feels they might disagree with me, please feel free to do 
> so, but every relationship, no matter how good it is, is a work in
progress.
> Even the best of them have occasional kinks.
> Again, as I said previously, the nature of your last message suggests 
> that you know more about hina's situation than the rest of us do. If 
> that's true, then that's nice of you to offer her advice, but  if 
> you're just assuming, well... you know the old saying. when you 
> assume, you make an ass out of you and me.
> Had to put my two cents worth in.
> Rant over now.
> And I sincerely hope we haven't scared Hina off with our tendencies to 
> get too personal on here.
>
> Bernadetta
>
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