[blparent] Please help me snap out of my pity party

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

Jen,

Oddly, I didn't struggle much with my blindness or have pity parties
until I became a parent, and like you, it's about the little things.
Declan has come home on a G-button feeding tube attached to a pump, and
I have no qualms about operating this device or caring for his needs in
this way, but the minute I walk into his room to put clothes away, I
feel frustrated and upset that I initially require assistance to know
what clothes are what so I don't dress him like a circus clown. I have
come up with a system for this, but nonetheless, it bothers me.

Remember that all parents find their children making messes and getting
into trouble. Blind or sighted, this is just a part of parenting. Yes,
there are those times where sight probably would have prevented
something, but if this were the case each time, sighted parents wouldn't
have this problem either.

As a person who hates messes and becomes stressed when clutter is about,
I know how frustrating it can be to come across a mess. I also get tired
of constantly physically having to check on my kids instead of just
looking across the room. You can't be lazy when parenting without
vision, grin.

Penny, my three-year-old, is pretty advanced for her age. She doesn't
get into too much trouble, but she, like all kids her age, will get
every toy out and walking around the house is like walking through a
field full of land mines. The only time I really wish I had vision is
when we are out in public or at a park, and she doesn't respond when we
all her name. Again, instead of just glancing over at her, I have to
call her name or go to her.

With Declan's doctor appointments, I wish I had the luxury and
convenience of being able to drive myself. Actually, I wish I could
drive just in general. I am one of the ones who once could drive, so I
now miss it.

Just keep in mind that most of these concerns aren't necessarily related
to blindness, and when it is, it's usually not a huge deal. Just enjoy
those kids and don't let the other stuff get you down, though I know
this easier said than done, smile.

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
 
"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan

Message: 5
Date: Thu, 25 Oct 2012 15:22:53 -0400
From: Jennifer Bose <jen10514 at gmail.com>
To: blparent <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [blparent] Please help me snap out of my pity-party
Message-ID:
	
<CAAvtZKGpHVTz7DMyFxX1ryLOks0+fmQMVgEgeRTwYr4qDpD5_Q at mail.gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Hi, parents.

Overall, I tend to think of blindness as just inconvenient. But
sometimes, blindness and parenthood together get me started on thinking
of blindness as a real pain. I guess there are always issues that will
present challenges for anyone, and mine aren't all that big, I realize.
But here they are:

My two daughters are three years old and six months old. While I'm
paying attention to my baby and I'm alone with both of them, I find it
tough to track what my three-year-old is doing. If I'm well-rested, this
isn't such a big deal. But if I'm tired, it's more than frustrating.
She's very bright and independent and often surprises me with all the
things she can now do on her own. But there are times when I'll discover
that she's playing with water or glue in a place where she shouldn't,
and then I've thought to myself: Well, if I'd seen her with that water
glass, this never would have happened!

And then, there's this whole world of visual media that I wish I could
share with her. All the picture books, DVDs, coloring books--I feel like
they're off limits to me and that I miss out on all the fun she has
going through them with other people. Not that she should necessarily
learn everything from me, but she and I don't get to engage each other
through any of that.

Ugh! I'm making myself really depressed and a little nauseated here. I
guess this is when I should start being grateful for what I have.
Please, have any of you ever felt these frustrations? What do you say to
yourself, or what do you do, to get your positive attitude back?

Thanks for reading this rant. I know it will survive in cyberspace
forever. Oh, well ...

Good times. Starting to laugh already!
Jen