[blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?

[Kate McEachern]

Gabe nothing is written here.
Katie
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Gabe Vega Via Iphone4S" <theblindtech at gmail.com>
To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Cc: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2012 11:31 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?


>
>
> Gabe Vega
> Sent from my iPhone
> (623) 565-9357
>
> On Sep 2, 2012, at 8:14 PM, "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com> wrote:
>
>> I know this may not sound blindness related, but it kind of is in a way 
>> because my daughter’s adopted Nanna tends to take over a lot instead of 
>> letting me be the mom.  She’s been there all of my daughter’s life, 
>> knitted her a blanket, kept her overnight, all the things a grandma loves 
>> to do.  I love her dearly.  But, frankly, she’s pushy.
>>
>> There was a situation that happened today while we were at her house for 
>> a barbecue.  A bunch of us from church had contributed food.My daughter 
>> had eaten a fairly balanced meal, so I wasn’t worried about her 
>> nutrition.  When it came time for dessert, she chose to have a piece of 
>> carrot cake, which she promptly ate the frosting off of and then lost 
>> interest in.  Par for the course.  Then she asked Nanna for some lemon 
>> cake.  Lots of us were just having little smidges of each kind, so I was 
>> surprised when Nanna said no, there was still cake on her plate.  I could 
>> see it if she hadn’t eaten dinner first, but she had, so I thought that 
>> was ridiculous.  Trying to keep the mood light, I reached over and took 
>> the cake off my daughter’s dish, then said, “Okay, tell Nanna your plate’s 
>> clean.”  Nanna still refused to give her the lemon cake.  My daughter 
>> started to pitch a fit in true four-year-old fashion, screeching and 
>> waving her arms around.  Nanna told her to go sit on the stairs till she 
>> was ready to be fit company.  I said no, she’s my daughter and I’m in 
>> charge here.  Nanna told me, raising her voice, that we were in her 
>> house, so her rules came first.  I said I didn’t appreciate her yelling 
>> at me, and that if she wouldn’t serve my daughter a slice of lemon cake, 
>> I would do it myself.  I guess Nanna’s husband had gotten his fill by 
>> that time because he cut my daughter a slice of cake and gave it to her 
>> without saying anything.
>>
>> I know that situation should ideally not have happened in front of my 
>> daughter, but it did.  I’m not looking for anybody to get on my case, but 
>> I’m interested in some answers from other blind parents.  Whose rules 
>> should have taken precedence?  Is there anything I can do about it now?
>>
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's 
>> brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived 
>> and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
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>> Grandma's house, grandma's rules. Yes I know she's your daughter, and if 
>> this was another strangers house your rules would stand. But in a normal 
>> house, with a grandma parent relationship grandmas house trumps all. It 
>> is her house, her roles, sorry you feel that way. Now you may always 
>> choose never to return to grandmas house, if you don't like the way 
>> grandma runs her house. But again, that is up to you. But this situation 
>> is all about respect, her grandma issued her decree, and you chose to try 
>> and overcome per. This is very disrespectful no matter what culture 
>> you're in, this will not stand in my house, and my daughters grandma 
>> would always overcut me as a sign of respect. Right or wrong. So please, 
>> take it for what it is take your losses and make a decision, you either 
>> like the other situations you have been with grandma, and this is a small 
>> think you could get over. Or you could choose to not like it, her, or any 
>> future situation, and just never return to her house. Very simple, if you 
>> ask me.
>
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