[blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
Peggy
pshald at neb.rr.com
Mon Sep 3 13:45:28 UTC 2012
Your rules, your kid. If it was grandma's rules that her children finish
their food on their plate before getting anything else that's fine but this
is your daughter and the way you're raising her ... it's your kid, let her
have the cake. And yes I understand this being blindness related because
sometimes people do interfere where they're not wanted because we are blind
... But she ate all her dinner, you said she could have another piece of
cake, your decision to make, she's your daughter.
-----Original Message-----
From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2012 10:14 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
I know this may not sound blindness related, but it kind of is in a way
because my daughter’s adopted Nanna tends to take over a lot instead of
letting me be the mom. She’s been there all of my daughter’s life, knitted
her a blanket, kept her overnight, all the things a grandma loves to do. I
love her dearly. But, frankly, she’s pushy.
There was a situation that happened today while we were at her house for a
barbecue. A bunch of us from church had contributed food.My daughter had
eaten a fairly balanced meal, so I wasn’t worried about her nutrition. When
it came time for dessert, she chose to have a piece of carrot cake, which
she promptly ate the frosting off of and then lost interest in. Par for the
course. Then she asked Nanna for some lemon cake. Lots of us were just
having little smidges of each kind, so I was surprised when Nanna said no,
there was still cake on her plate. I could see it if she hadn’t eaten
dinner first, but she had, so I thought that was ridiculous. Trying to keep
the mood light, I reached over and took the cake off my daughter’s dish,
then said, “Okay, tell Nanna your plate’s clean.” Nanna still refused to
give her the lemon cake. My daughter started to pitch a fit in true
four-year-old fashion, screeching and waving her arms around. Nanna told
her to go sit on the stairs till she was ready to be fit company. I said
no, she’s my daughter and I’m in charge here. Nanna told me, raising her
voice, that we were in her house, so her rules came first. I said I didn’t
appreciate her yelling at me, and that if she wouldn’t serve my daughter a
slice of lemon cake, I would do it myself. I guess Nanna’s husband had
gotten his fill by that time because he cut my daughter a slice of cake and
gave it to her without saying anything.
I know that situation should ideally not have happened in front of my
daughter, but it did. I’m not looking for anybody to get on my case, but I’m
interested in some answers from other blind parents. Whose rules should
have taken precedence? Is there anything I can do about it now?
Jo Elizabeth
I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's
brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and
died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
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