[blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?

Mon Sep 3 16:35:03 UTC 2012

Actually, I did stop the fit.  I had started talking to my daughter quietly, 
almost in her ear, about it when Nanna told her to go sit on the stairs. 
I've discovered that a lot of fits can be stopped by simply having a child 
take a deep breath, think for a second about what she wants to say, and 
finding the words to speak.

Jo Elizabeth

I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's 
brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and 
died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
-----Original Message----- 
From: Brandy W
Sent: Monday, September 03, 2012 8:12 AM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?

Hmmm this one is tough! While everyone was having little slices of things I 
could see why you would be ok with your daughter having another small piece 
of something. However I'd not likely let a kid have another desert if they 
didn't finish the first one. I think it is a balancing act with the rule 
thing. While you are the mom it is her house. I'm confused why you didn't 
pull your daughter aside and stop the fit. She is 4 correct? That is a bit 
old to be waving arms and screaming especially at a gathering of many 
people. I probably would have said Nanna said you have another slice when 
you eat this one. You make the choice. I believe that this would have been a 
bigger issue if it was a huge thing like you let your daughter have desert 
after not eating, or nanna said it was fine that she was eating a ton of 
food and you said no, or something like that, but nanna wasn't really doing 
anything unreasonable. Tough situation for sure.

Bran

“To learn to read is to light a fire; every syllable that is spelled out is 
a spark.”
- Victor Hugo

Brandy Wojcik  Discovery Toys Educational Consultant and Team leader
(512) 689-5045
www.playtoachieve.com
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-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
Behalf Of Kate McEachern
Sent: Monday, September 03, 2012 10:05 AM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?

Just looking at this from Nanna's side maybe.  And who is going to eat the 
left over slice of cake that the child ate the icing off of?  No one can 
have that cake, and now the kid wants to eat the icing off another slice, 
why does she not eat the cake?  That is a waist of a slice of cake.

Just saying, Nanna may have ishue with the waisting of food and as some one 
who has had times in life where food was short, I get not wantingt to waist 
food.

Just my thoughts
Katie
----- Original Message -----
From: "Peggy" <pshald at neb.rr.com>
To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, September 03, 2012 9:45 AM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?

> Your rules, your kid.  If it was grandma's rules that her children finish
> their food on their plate before getting anything else that's fine but
> this is your daughter and the way you're raising her ... it's your kid,
> let her have the cake.  And yes I understand this being blindness related
> because sometimes people do interfere where they're not wanted because we
> are blind ... But she ate all her dinner, you said she could have another
> piece of cake, your decision to make, she's your daughter.
>
>
>
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto
> Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2012 10:14 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
>
> I know this may not sound blindness related, but it kind of is in a way
> because my daughter’s adopted Nanna tends to take over a lot instead of
> letting me be the mom.  She’s been there all of my daughter’s life,
> knitted her a blanket, kept her overnight, all the things a grandma loves
> to do.  I love her dearly.  But, frankly, she’s pushy.
>
> There was a situation that happened today while we were at her house for a
> barbecue.  A bunch of us from church had contributed food.My daughter had
> eaten a fairly balanced meal, so I wasn’t worried about her nutrition.
> When it came time for dessert, she chose to have a piece of carrot cake,
> which she promptly ate the frosting off of and then lost interest in.  Par
> for the course.  Then she asked Nanna for some lemon cake.  Lots of us
> were just having little smidges of each kind, so I was surprised when
> Nanna said no, there was still cake on her plate.  I could see it if she
> hadn’t eaten dinner first, but she had, so I thought that was ridiculous.
> Trying to keep the mood light, I reached over and took the cake off my
> daughter’s dish, then said, “Okay, tell Nanna your plate’s clean.”  Nanna
> still refused to give her the lemon cake.  My daughter started to pitch a
> fit in true four-year-old fashion, screeching and waving her arms around.
> Nanna told her to go sit on the stairs till she was ready to be fit
> company.  I said no, she’s my daughter and I’m in charge here.  Nanna told
> me, raising her voice, that we were in her house, so her rules came first.
> I said I didn’t appreciate her yelling at me, and that if she wouldn’t
> serve my daughter a slice of lemon cake, I would do it myself.  I guess
> Nanna’s husband had gotten his fill by that time because he cut my
> daughter a slice of cake and gave it to her without saying anything.
>
> I know that situation should ideally not have happened in front of my
> daughter, but it did.  I’m not looking for anybody to get on my case, but
> I’m interested in some answers from other blind parents.  Whose rules
> should have taken precedence?  Is there anything I can do about it now?
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's
> brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived
> and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
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