[blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?

Jo Elizabeth Pinto jopinto at msn.com
Sat Sep 8 00:17:00 UTC 2012 

*I'm* done?  You're thankful *I'm* done?  You condescending, arrogant, 
self-righteous piece of work!  You called me names, referred to all of us on 
this list as 'blindies' even though you had been told it was offensive, made 
assumptions about how we all deal with, or don't deal with, confrontation in 
our personal lives, and now you're saying you're thankful I'm done!  You 
have some damn nerve.  You are the most abrasive, self-important, unpleasant 
person I've ever had the displeasure of meeting.  This is a wonderful list 
full of intelligent, articulate, insightful parents, and except for you, 
I've really enjoyed my time here.  But you take every post you can and put 
it in the worst possible light, then add your rude remarks at every turn. 
And when you're finished spewing out your venom, you move on, and act like 
whoever replies after your interest has expired is needlessly rehashing old 
stuff.

Sorry for the blow-up, everybody, but I've had a gutful.  If I get kicked 
off the list for my comments, please know it's been a good run!  I'll miss 
most of you very much.

Jo Elizabeth

I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's 
brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and 
died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
-----Original Message----- 
From: Gabe Vega
Sent: Friday, September 07, 2012 5:43 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?

Well I'm thankful you are done. now, lets move on shell we?
Gabe Vega - Sent from my MacbookAir
Blog: http://thebt.net
iMessage/Email: theblindtech at gmail.com
Phone: (623) 565-9357

On Sep 7, 2012, at 4:24 PM, "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com> wrote:

> I'm not quite over "big barny tough girl" or "cowers from confrontation" 
> yet.  Sorry.  If you insist on personally attacking fellow list members, 
> you have to realize it will take time for the hard feelings to wear off. 
> Veronica was asking for common courtesy, which never goes out of style. 
> I've said all I'm going to.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's 
> brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived 
> and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
> -----Original Message----- From: Gabe Vega Via Iphone4S
> Sent: Friday, September 07, 2012 4:59 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Cc: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
>
> Seriously? Joe Elizabeth? You want to start again? You really can't leave 
> it alone? Must you get the last word?
>
> Gabe Vega
> Sent from my iPhone
> (623) 565-9357
>
> On Sep 7, 2012, at 3:44 PM, "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com> wrote:
>
>> Frankly, her remarks are still very applicable.  Thank you, Veronica.
>>
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's 
>> brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived 
>> and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
>> -----Original Message----- From: Gabe Vega Via Iphone4S
>> Sent: Friday, September 07, 2012 4:05 PM
>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Cc: Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
>>
>> Veronica, you are responding to seven day old messages. You are 
>> responding to old messages that are over and done with. Please check the 
>> date of the messages you're responding to, I think you're thinking I sent 
>> is recently but these were sent a week ago
>>
>> Gabe Vega
>> Sent from my iPhone
>> (623) 565-9357
>>
>> On Sep 7, 2012, at 2:39 PM, "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net> 
>> wrote:
>>
>>> Gabe, there you go again being hateful.  Keep those unkind remarks to 
>>> yourself and stick with the topic.  I, for one, do not think it is off 
>>> topic as we are talking parenting here.  And if I recall correctly, we 
>>> all are blind parents. Right?
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
>>> On Behalf Of Gabe Vega Via Iphone4S
>>> Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2012 10:12 PM
>>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>>> Cc: Blind Parents Mailing List
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
>>>
>>> grandmas house, grandmas rules. dont like it, dont go back. simple as 
>>> that. and its still off topic. and blindies only get mistreated if they 
>>> allow it. its funny how joe thinks she is a big barny tough girl on 
>>> list, but in real life, she just like the rest who use this act. and 
>>> cowars from confrontation because it on an email list and partially 
>>> annonymous. :-)
>>>
>>> Gabe Vega
>>> Sent from my iPhone
>>> (623) 565-9357
>>>
>>> On Sep 2, 2012, at 8:55 PM, "Angie Matney" <angie.matney at gmail.com> 
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Actually, Gabe's text is at the bottom of the post. He said that 
>>>> grandma's rules should apply.
>>>>
>>>> Sorry, no one but me gets to decide what my kid eats, unless I'm not 
>>>> around and that person has responsibility for my child. It was very 
>>>> disrespectful of this woman to try to interpose herself in the 
>>>> parent-child relationship.
>>>>
>>>> And I do think this is blindness-related, because people tend to 
>>>> infantilize blind adults. I wonder if this woman would have done the 
>>>> same thing to a sighted parent.
>>>>
>>>> As for what you can do now, you could calmly explain to her that you 
>>>> make the rules for Sarah, and if she can respect that, then her 
>>>> informal grandmother-type relationship can continue.
>>>>
>>>> Best of luck.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Kate McEachern"
>>>> <kflsouth at gmail.com>
>>>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2012 11:37 PM
>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> Gabe nothing is written here.
>>>>> Katie
>>>>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Gabe Vega Via Iphone4S"
>>>>> <theblindtech at gmail.com>
>>>>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> Cc: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2012 11:31 PM
>>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Gabe Vega
>>>>>> Sent from my iPhone
>>>>>> (623) 565-9357
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On Sep 2, 2012, at 8:14 PM, "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com> 
>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I know this may not sound blindness related, but it kind of is in a 
>>>>>>> way because my daughter’s adopted Nanna tends to take over a lot 
>>>>>>> instead of letting me be the mom.  She’s been there all of my 
>>>>>>> daughter’s life, knitted her a blanket, kept her overnight, all the 
>>>>>>> things a grandma loves to do.  I love her dearly.  But, frankly, she’s 
>>>>>>> pushy.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> There was a situation that happened today while we were at her house 
>>>>>>> for a barbecue.  A bunch of us from church had contributed food.My 
>>>>>>> daughter had eaten a fairly balanced meal, so I wasn’t worried about 
>>>>>>> her nutrition.  When it came time for dessert, she chose to have a 
>>>>>>> piece of carrot cake, which she promptly ate the frosting off of and 
>>>>>>> then lost interest in.  Par for the course.  Then she asked Nanna 
>>>>>>> for some lemon cake.  Lots of us were just having little smidges of 
>>>>>>> each kind, so I was surprised when Nanna said no, there was still 
>>>>>>> cake on her plate.  I could see it if she hadn’t eaten dinner first, 
>>>>>>> but she had, so I thought that was ridiculous.  Trying to keep the 
>>>>>>> mood light, I reached over and took the cake off my daughter’s dish, 
>>>>>>> then said, “Okay, tell Nanna your plate’s clean.”  Nanna still 
>>>>>>> refused to give her the lemon cake.  My daughter started to pitch a 
>>>>>>> fit in true four-year-old fashion, screeching and waving her arms 
>>>>>>> around.  Nanna told her to go sit on the stairs till she was ready 
>>>>>>> to be fit company. I said no, she’s my daughter and I’m in charge 
>>>>>>> here.  Nanna told me, raising her voice, that we were in her house, 
>>>>>>> so her rules came first. I said I didn’t appreciate her yelling at 
>>>>>>> me, and that if she wouldn’t serve my daughter a slice of lemon 
>>>>>>> cake, I would do it myself.  I guess Nanna’s husband had gotten his 
>>>>>>> fill by that time because he cut my daughter a slice of cake and 
>>>>>>> gave it to her without saying anything.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I know that situation should ideally not have happened in front of 
>>>>>>> my daughter, but it did.  I’m not looking for anybody to get on my 
>>>>>>> case, but I’m interested in some answers from other blind parents. 
>>>>>>> Whose rules should have taken precedence?  Is there anything I can 
>>>>>>> do about it now?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Jo Elizabeth
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of
>>>>>>> Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal
>>>>>>> talent have lived and died in cotton fields and
>>>>>>> sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>>> blparent mailing list
>>>>>>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>>>>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info 
>>>>>>> for blparent:
>>>>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/theblindtech%40gmail.com 
>>>>>>> Grandma's house, grandma's rules. Yes I know she's your daughter, 
>>>>>>> and if this was another strangers house your rules would stand. But 
>>>>>>> in a normal house, with a grandma parent relationship grandmas house 
>>>>>>> trumps all. It is her house, her roles, sorry you feel that way. Now 
>>>>>>> you may always choose never to return to grandmas house, if you 
>>>>>>> don't like the way grandma runs her house. But again, that is up to 
>>>>>>> you. But this situation is all about respect, her grandma issued her 
>>>>>>> decree, and you chose to try and overcome per. This is very 
>>>>>>> disrespectful no matter what culture you're in, this will not stand 
>>>>>>> in my house, and my daughters grandma would always overcut me as a 
>>>>>>> sign of respect. Right or wrong. So please, take it for what it is 
>>>>>>> take your losses and make a decision, you either like the other 
>>>>>>> situations you have been with grandma, and this is a small think you 
>>>>>>> could get over. Or you could choose to not like it, her, or any 
>>>>>>> future situation, and just never return to her house. Very simple, 
>>>>>>> if you ask me.
>>>>>>
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>>>>>> il.com
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>
>>>>
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