[blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?

Marla Wertman mwertman72 at gmail.com
Sat Sep 8 02:59:36 UTC 2012 

Maybe people should just stop replying to him and ignore him completely.
Sounds to me like he just wants attention.
On Fri, 7 Sep 2012 18:17:00 -0600
"Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com> wrote:

> *I'm* done?  You're thankful *I'm* done?  You condescending, arrogant, 
> self-righteous piece of work!  You called me names, referred to all of us on 
> this list as 'blindies' even though you had been told it was offensive, made 
> assumptions about how we all deal with, or don't deal with, confrontation in 
> our personal lives, and now you're saying you're thankful I'm done!  You 
> have some damn nerve.  You are the most abrasive, self-important, unpleasant 
> person I've ever had the displeasure of meeting.  This is a wonderful list 
> full of intelligent, articulate, insightful parents, and except for you, 
> I've really enjoyed my time here.  But you take every post you can and put 
> it in the worst possible light, then add your rude remarks at every turn. 
> And when you're finished spewing out your venom, you move on, and act like 
> whoever replies after your interest has expired is needlessly rehashing old 
> stuff.
> 
> Sorry for the blow-up, everybody, but I've had a gutful.  If I get kicked 
> off the list for my comments, please know it's been a good run!  I'll miss 
> most of you very much.
> 
> Jo Elizabeth
> 
> I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's 
> brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and 
> died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: Gabe Vega
> Sent: Friday, September 07, 2012 5:43 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
> 
> Well I'm thankful you are done. now, lets move on shell we?
> Gabe Vega - Sent from my MacbookAir
> Blog: http://thebt.net
> iMessage/Email: theblindtech at gmail.com
> Phone: (623) 565-9357
> 
> On Sep 7, 2012, at 4:24 PM, "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com> wrote:
> 
> > I'm not quite over "big barny tough girl" or "cowers from confrontation" 
> > yet.  Sorry.  If you insist on personally attacking fellow list members, 
> > you have to realize it will take time for the hard feelings to wear off. 
> > Veronica was asking for common courtesy, which never goes out of style. 
> > I've said all I'm going to.
> >
> > Jo Elizabeth
> >
> > I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's 
> > brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived 
> > and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
> > -----Original Message----- From: Gabe Vega Via Iphone4S
> > Sent: Friday, September 07, 2012 4:59 PM
> > To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> > Cc: Blind Parents Mailing List
> > Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
> >
> > Seriously? Joe Elizabeth? You want to start again? You really can't leave 
> > it alone? Must you get the last word?
> >
> > Gabe Vega
> > Sent from my iPhone
> > (623) 565-9357
> >
> > On Sep 7, 2012, at 3:44 PM, "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com> wrote:
> >
> >> Frankly, her remarks are still very applicable.  Thank you, Veronica.
> >>
> >> Jo Elizabeth
> >>
> >> I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's 
> >> brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived 
> >> and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
> >> -----Original Message----- From: Gabe Vega Via Iphone4S
> >> Sent: Friday, September 07, 2012 4:05 PM
> >> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> >> Cc: Blind Parents Mailing List
> >> Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
> >>
> >> Veronica, you are responding to seven day old messages. You are 
> >> responding to old messages that are over and done with. Please check the 
> >> date of the messages you're responding to, I think you're thinking I sent 
> >> is recently but these were sent a week ago
> >>
> >> Gabe Vega
> >> Sent from my iPhone
> >> (623) 565-9357
> >>
> >> On Sep 7, 2012, at 2:39 PM, "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net> 
> >> wrote:
> >>
> >>> Gabe, there you go again being hateful.  Keep those unkind remarks to 
> >>> yourself and stick with the topic.  I, for one, do not think it is off 
> >>> topic as we are talking parenting here.  And if I recall correctly, we 
> >>> all are blind parents. Right?
> >>>
> >>> -----Original Message-----
> >>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
> >>> On Behalf Of Gabe Vega Via Iphone4S
> >>> Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2012 10:12 PM
> >>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> >>> Cc: Blind Parents Mailing List
> >>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
> >>>
> >>> grandmas house, grandmas rules. dont like it, dont go back. simple as 
> >>> that. and its still off topic. and blindies only get mistreated if they 
> >>> allow it. its funny how joe thinks she is a big barny tough girl on 
> >>> list, but in real life, she just like the rest who use this act. and 
> >>> cowars from confrontation because it on an email list and partially 
> >>> annonymous. :-)
> >>>
> >>> Gabe Vega
> >>> Sent from my iPhone
> >>> (623) 565-9357
> >>>
> >>> On Sep 2, 2012, at 8:55 PM, "Angie Matney" <angie.matney at gmail.com> 
> >>> wrote:
> >>>
> >>>> Actually, Gabe's text is at the bottom of the post. He said that 
> >>>> grandma's rules should apply.
> >>>>
> >>>> Sorry, no one but me gets to decide what my kid eats, unless I'm not 
> >>>> around and that person has responsibility for my child. It was very 
> >>>> disrespectful of this woman to try to interpose herself in the 
> >>>> parent-child relationship.
> >>>>
> >>>> And I do think this is blindness-related, because people tend to 
> >>>> infantilize blind adults. I wonder if this woman would have done the 
> >>>> same thing to a sighted parent.
> >>>>
> >>>> As for what you can do now, you could calmly explain to her that you 
> >>>> make the rules for Sarah, and if she can respect that, then her 
> >>>> informal grandmother-type relationship can continue.
> >>>>
> >>>> Best of luck.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Kate McEachern"
> >>>> <kflsouth at gmail.com>
> >>>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> >>>> Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2012 11:37 PM
> >>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>> Gabe nothing is written here.
> >>>>> Katie
> >>>>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Gabe Vega Via Iphone4S"
> >>>>> <theblindtech at gmail.com>
> >>>>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> >>>>> Cc: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> >>>>> Sent: Sunday, September 02, 2012 11:31 PM
> >>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Whose rules should take precedence?
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> Gabe Vega
> >>>>>> Sent from my iPhone
> >>>>>> (623) 565-9357
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> On Sep 2, 2012, at 8:14 PM, "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com> 
> >>>>>> wrote:
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>> I know this may not sound blindness related, but it kind of is in a 
> >>>>>>> way because my daughter’s adopted Nanna tends to take over a lot 
> >>>>>>> instead of letting me be the mom.  She’s been there all of my 
> >>>>>>> daughter’s life, knitted her a blanket, kept her overnight, all the 
> >>>>>>> things a grandma loves to do.  I love her dearly.  But, frankly, she’s 
> >>>>>>> pushy.
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> There was a situation that happened today while we were at her house 
> >>>>>>> for a barbecue.  A bunch of us from church had contributed food.My 
> >>>>>>> daughter had eaten a fairly balanced meal, so I wasn’t worried about 
> >>>>>>> her nutrition.  When it came time for dessert, she chose to have a 
> >>>>>>> piece of carrot cake, which she promptly ate the frosting off of and 
> >>>>>>> then lost interest in.  Par for the course.  Then she asked Nanna 
> >>>>>>> for some lemon cake.  Lots of us were just having little smidges of 
> >>>>>>> each kind, so I was surprised when Nanna said no, there was still 
> >>>>>>> cake on her plate.  I could see it if she hadn’t eaten dinner first, 
> >>>>>>> but she had, so I thought that was ridiculous.  Trying to keep the 
> >>>>>>> mood light, I reached over and took the cake off my daughter’s dish, 
> >>>>>>> then said, “Okay, tell Nanna your plate’s clean.”  Nanna still 
> >>>>>>> refused to give her the lemon cake.  My daughter started to pitch a 
> >>>>>>> fit in true four-year-old fashion, screeching and waving her arms 
> >>>>>>> around.  Nanna told her to go sit on the stairs till she was ready 
> >>>>>>> to be fit company. I said no, she’s my daughter and I’m in charge 
> >>>>>>> here.  Nanna told me, raising her voice, that we were in her house, 
> >>>>>>> so her rules came first. I said I didn’t appreciate her yelling at 
> >>>>>>> me, and that if she wouldn’t serve my daughter a slice of lemon 
> >>>>>>> cake, I would do it myself.  I guess Nanna’s husband had gotten his 
> >>>>>>> fill by that time because he cut my daughter a slice of cake and 
> >>>>>>> gave it to her without saying anything.
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> I know that situation should ideally not have happened in front of 
> >>>>>>> my daughter, but it did.  I’m not looking for anybody to get on my 
> >>>>>>> case, but I’m interested in some answers from other blind parents. 
> >>>>>>> Whose rules should have taken precedence?  Is there anything I can 
> >>>>>>> do about it now?
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> Jo Elizabeth
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of
> >>>>>>> Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal
> >>>>>>> talent have lived and died in cotton fields and
> >>>>>>> sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
> >>>>>>> _______________________________________________
> >>>>>>> blparent mailing list
> >>>>>>> blparent at nfbnet.org
> >>>>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> >>>>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info 
> >>>>>>> for blparent:
> >>>>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/theblindtech%40gmail.com 
> >>>>>>> Grandma's house, grandma's rules. Yes I know she's your daughter, 
> >>>>>>> and if this was another strangers house your rules would stand. But 
> >>>>>>> in a normal house, with a grandma parent relationship grandmas house 
> >>>>>>> trumps all. It is her house, her roles, sorry you feel that way. Now 
> >>>>>>> you may always choose never to return to grandmas house, if you 
> >>>>>>> don't like the way grandma runs her house. But again, that is up to 
> >>>>>>> you. But this situation is all about respect, her grandma issued her 
> >>>>>>> decree, and you chose to try and overcome per. This is very 
> >>>>>>> disrespectful no matter what culture you're in, this will not stand 
> >>>>>>> in my house, and my daughters grandma would always overcut me as a 
> >>>>>>> sign of respect. Right or wrong. So please, take it for what it is 
> >>>>>>> take your losses and make a decision, you either like the other 
> >>>>>>> situations you have been with grandma, and this is a small think you 
> >>>>>>> could get over. Or you could choose to not like it, her, or any 
> >>>>>>> future situation, and just never return to her house. Very simple, 
> >>>>>>> if you ask me.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> _______________________________________________
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> >>>>>> blparent at nfbnet.org
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> >>>>>> blparent:
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> >>>>>> il.com
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> _______________________________________________
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> >>>>
> >>>>
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> >>
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> >
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> 
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-- 
Marla Wertman <mwertman72 at gmail.com>

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