[blparent] introduction, expecting

Mon Sep 17 18:01:41 UTC 2012

        I agree with you on the resting Jennifer.
My attitude was "If I have to do all this work, why not send me home where I have what I need and want".
It made no sense to me.

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jennifer Jackson
Sent: Friday, August 10, 2012 3:27 AM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] introduction, expecting

I just posted the message regarding my own experiences with CPS and I
thought I would ad something here for expecting and new parents. Please
notice that none of my problems were related to my birth experiences. Yes,
like many others I was asked some questions that were probably not asked of
sighted mothers, and yes I think some people just assumed that my sighted
husband would be responsible for things he was never going to be responsible
for. This includes two different NICU stays with the younger two. I went
into the experience with plenty of experience caring for infants directly
and really required very little from the staffs, but I was always polite
when I declined there help. I was always willing to demonstrate these skills
if asked also. Though I flat out refused to clean up those first few really
disgusting diapers on the grounds that I already had plenty of experience
changing diapers and the father was just as capable of doing it.

Though really, I think the nurses should be changing the diapers and the
like at the hospital just like anyone else you might pay that much to for a
service. :) Women who have just had  a baby should be resting in preparation
for being at home where there is no staff. :)

Jennifer

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Veronica Smith
Sent: Sunday, August 12, 2012 11:23 AM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] introduction, expecting

So how is your son doing?  How old is he and what cute and adorable things
is he doing now?

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Michael Babcock
Sent: Saturday, August 11, 2012 11:32 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] introduction, expecting

I think that all of this conversation is very intriguing to see the
situations that other individuals went through. My son, Nicholas, came at 32
weeks. This meant that after his mom was life flown down to Seattle
Washington, from Ketchikan Alaska, we had to spend about eight weeks in the
hospital. We really got to know the nurses there, and, they did ask us a
couple of questions because of my blindness. She was not blind, she being
his mom, and, I guess we really do not have that many problems. One nurse we
did have some difficulties with, did not communicate as well as I suspected
she should have. In regards to her, all we did was ask the head nurse if we
could get a new evening nurse to work with us, and our son. It was very easy
to make this change, even in the neonatal intensive care unit, (NICU), where
staff was limited. The head nurse said, "I understand where you are coming
from, and respect the fact that you would like to make the right decisions
that you feel would be for your son." And, that's what really made me enjoy
my time at Swedish medical Center in Seattle, even with the fact that I
really wanted to just go home with my then girlfriend and our new sun.
For those of you who do not know, me and that young lady are no longer
together. She has our son 67% of the year, leaving me with only 33. Don't
misunderstand this, I respect the reason why it is this way, and I hope to
change it in the near future. But, I do understand where some individuals
are coming from and regards to difficulties with the social worker. I think
that all parents may have been asked the question, "How will you know when
it is time to change the diaper?" My response was, my eyes don't work my
nose does.
One thing that I do want to let everyone know about, was a interesting
situation that I always tell people when they ask me about my son. After
about three weeks, he had not had his hearing test done. Sabrina, his mom,
and I went to lunch. I stopped at the nurses desk and asked them "Could you
please do Nicholas is hearing test? I would really appreciate it, don't take
this the wrong way, but, if he is blind them we will be okay. If he has any
hearing difficulties however, there may be some communication issues." We
then came back from lunch about 45 minutes later, and the results of his
stellar hearing test had been posted.
The moral of the story is, for any new parent don't hesitate to ask
questions. Your first concern should be the health of your child, and no
question is too dumb to ask.

Michael Babcock, Assistive Technology And Braille Instructor

Alaska Center for the Blind and Visually Impaired

Equipping Alaskans for success

Phone: 907-771-4303

fax 907.248.7517
www.alaskabvi.org

 michael.babcock09 at gmail.com

On Aug 11, 2012, at 6:04 PM, "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net>
wrote:

> I had the same social worker and when she asked me how I would know if the
> diaper was dirty, I calmly said, "how do you know?"  I then followed the
> question with, I'm not trying to be rude or hateful, but everyone knows
> whether they are sighted or blind when a diaper needs changing.  Honestly,
> she didn't question me again!
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Bernadetta Pracon
> Sent: Saturday, August 11, 2012 3:07 PM
> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> Subject: Re: [blparent] introduction, expecting
>
> Tatyana,
> First of all, Congratulations on your new little one. Do you know what
> you're having?
> I am a relatively new mommy too. My baby boy was born almost six months
ago,
> so I thought I'd share my experiences with you. Prior to having a baby, I
> didn't really have much experience with caring for small children. I
became
> terribly nervous when I was expecting, because it was drummed into my mind
> that taking care of an infant is hard work, and on top of that I'm blind,
so
> it must be twice as hard. I thought I'd be scared to bring my little one
up
> and down the stairs at my home for example, thought I would never learn
how
> to change him properly, or feed him for that matter. I thought I'd be
> carrying him around in a front pack forever because I'd be afraid to
> accidentally bump him into a wall while walking or something. Fast-forward
> six months, and guess what, I haven't even used my front pack. Not once.
And
> I've become a pro with my little one, as has my boyfriend/partner. So far,
> my baby has not incurred any injuries, not even minor ones.
> I wanted to take  all of the classes offered by the hospital that Jo
> Elizabeth mentioned, but the hospital I chose to give birth at was not
easy
> to get to on my own and I didnt' have the best transportation system in
> place at the time. So I didn't end up taking advantage of them. However,
> when I got there, I was confident and willing to learn everything I needed
> to in order to safely care for my son. My partner who is also blind was
> equally prepared to learn how to be responsible for our child. When we
were
> asked by nurses and doctors about how we would provide for our child, we
> told them, patiently and confidently that we, like any other couple with a
> small baby, would probably require some help and that we had my family
> nearby if we needed them.
> The only person at the hospital who got under my skin was the social
worker
> assigned to us: She was like a cross examiner, and for a social worker,
> quite ignorant. She insisted on asking idiotic questions like, how would
we
> know if the baby had a poopy diaper, and she made it obvious that in her
> mind, two blind people shouldn't live alone with a baby. We assured her
that
> we were going to be fine, and because we made a solid case for ourselves,
> she had no loophole in which to slip in and cause trouble. It may have
also
> been helpful that my mom, who was in the hospital with us for the birth
(per
> my request) and then to visit the baby, assured the staff of the hospital
> that if we needed her, she'd help us. That's not overstepping the lines,
in
> my oppinion; Every new grandma is eager to help with her child's new
baby,.
> Many new parents, whether blind or sighted seek their own parents
assistance
> with the baby for a time.
> I ended up having a CSection which granted me a few more days at the
> hospital. I took advantage of that; I asked the nurses to teach me about
> diapering, swaddling, breastfeeding, and bathing my boy. Don't be nervous
> about asking them for help, but be sure that at the end of your hospital
> stay, you're able to show them that you've retained at least the basics of
> baby care. If some nurse is being snooty with you and seems more willing
to
> berate you for being a blind mom than she is eager to teach you how to be
> one, you should feel free to request assistance from someone else. It's
your
> hospital stay; The hospital should benefit you in whatever way they can,
so
> don't be  too shy to ask for help. I was fortunate to have had a great
> hospital staff aiding my new family. The nurses and  PCA's, even the
doctors
> were supportive and seemed eager to give us a chance. But I'll tell you
that
> they did feel apprehensive, and had I not displayed my compitance and my
> willingness to learn, they would have hesitated to allow the child to come
> home with me. You need to be confident. You need to be sharp-minded and
work
> with the hospital staff. In most cases, they are just working in your
baby's
> best interest.
> Well, that's that. I'm sorry for the long-winded message. i'm rambling.
> lol. Anyway, good luck, and if you need anything else, feel free to ask
the
> list, and since  I've been through all this recently, feel free to email
me
> off list if you need to talk and get advice, new mom to a slightly  more
> seasoned new mom. lol Good  Luck!!
> Bernadetta
>
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