[blparent] On independence

Sun Sep 30 04:53:04 UTC 2012

I agree, Bridgit.  In fact, I've witnessed passengers getting on a bus 
asking sighted moms who had too many things to carry if they could help with 
strollers and bags.  It's just a polite and helpful thing to do.  But I've 
sometimes felt pressure from the blind community to handle everything by 
myself, just to prove to the world that blind people don't need help, I 
guess.

I was at a busy bus stop hub once during rush hour, where many buses and 
light rail trains came and went.  There was a blind guy standing in the 
middle of the bus lanes.  He seemed disoriented and unsure of where he 
wanted to go.  Somebody went over and asked if he needed help, and he quite 
rudely said no, he could get where he was going just fine, and nobody should 
assume he couldn't just because he couldn't see.  The stranger who had 
offered help said quite calmly, "Well, sir, if you are on your way to 
interview for a job as a hood ornament, you're in the right place at the 
right time.  Otherwise, you might want to let me help you out of the middle 
of the bus lane."

Was the prospective hood ornament doing more for the cause of blind 
independence by refusing the offered help, and singlehandedly stopping 
traffic at one of the busiest transportation hubs in the city?  Or might he 
have been more wise to accept a sighted guide with a simple thank you and 
gone on with his life?  My vote would be for the second option.

Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may 
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at 
evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
-----Original Message----- 
From: Bridgit Pollpeter
Sent: Saturday, September 29, 2012 10:06 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] On independence

This is in response to Jo Elizabeth's comment that some may see her
allowing fellow bus passengers to assist in carrying her stroller as her
not being independent. I know many blind people who would consider this
as being dependent, and I find this so annoying and ridiculous. Every
single person on planet earth requires assistance from time to time.
Blindness can create unique circumstances but so far, I have found ways
in which to get around the obstacle of blindness, and sometimes this
means relying on assistance. Independence is about being efficient, and
if it takes a little assistance to be efficient, then why wouldn't we
accept such an offer? Why do we have to be super human? It's just silly.
Yes, we need to be independent and realize blindness is not a reason to
stop us from accomplishing things, and we certainly can do many, many
things without help, but just like anyone else, we will need assistance
sometimes, and to feel ashamed or bothered because you accept such
assistance is a wrong way of thinking.

In the case Jo mentions, how is it efficient for her to struggle with
all that stuff when a person is offering to help? Doesn't look worse for
her to struggle with multiple items plus a baby rather than to just
allow someone to help? If she let a stranger carry her baby or guide her
every step, then maybe there's room for a discussion about being too
dependent, but any sighted person would welcome help in a similar
situation, so again, why do we always have to act super-human? We need
to just live our lives and not always get so caught up in what others
think.

I have very low blood pressure, and at times, it's difficult to move
around a lot. When I have these episodes, I like to hold onto a person's
arm, if a person I know is with me,  for support, and I try to find
transportation other than the bus on these days when I need to get
places. I've had people accuse me of not being independent, assuming I
am not traveling on my own and being guided around. The reality is that
I'm not feeling well and just need a little extra help. FYI, I rely on
Ross to help when I don't feel well and he's around, and he's blind too,
so... LOL! When I feel like this, I'd gladly accept the offer for
someone to carry my stroller onto the bus.

So it's really not fair to judge people when you don't know them or
their situation; and it's really unfair to accuse people of being
dependent when they simply need a little assistance, and more often than
not, it's not blindness causing them to need help, but they just need
help period.

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/

"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan

_______________________________________________
blparent mailing list
blparent at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
blparent:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/jopinto%40msn.com 