[blparent] Please, Please Read: Parenting Questions the Court Will Want Me ToAnswer:Any Advice?

Tue Apr 23 18:44:28 UTC 2013

Sirena, 
Are these questions the father *has* asked, or are you all just guessing
here? I ask because you said "That's all I can think of". 
So I'm wondering what's going on. 
You've gotten some great answers to these questions. 
Also, I'd talk to your lawyer about fighting back. If he's going to use
blindness against you, I'm sure there are things you could ask him. "How
will you care for the child since you'll be working?"  "The child is a girl,
and you are a boy.  How will you deal with Mean Girl behavior since you've
never experienced it directly?" "How will he teach her how to use a tampon
given that he doesn't have a vagina and has never had a menstrual period?"
This came to my mind when I read your color question.  You could have all
kinds of fun with this.  

Lastly, I'd consider moving to wherever he lives. From your blog, moving to
be near him was a viable option. You don't have to like him in order to live
near him.  I suggest this because he may settle down once he realizes he can
be involved in your child's life.  He does have that right no matter how
much you wish he didn't. 

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Si
Sent: Friday, April 19, 2013 11:02 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Please, Please Read: Parenting Questions the Court
Will Want Me ToAnswer:Any Advice?

I haven't yet. I've been told that isn't yet necessary, but I think I will
get in touch with the state affiliate anyway. I've been to my chapter and
unfortunately, they are not very good. Their meetings are more like get
togethers where nothing is discussed. The leaders have no motivation,
unfortunately.

Sirena

----- Original Message -----
From: "melissa R green" <graduate56 at juno.com>
To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, April 19, 2013 10:19 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Please,Please Read: Parenting Questions the Court
Will Want Me ToAnswer:Any Advice?

> Have you been in touch with the nfb chapter or the state affilliate?
> this way you can get more blind parents to help you and answer these 
> questions.
> I know here in colorado a few weeks ago the nfb had to step in and 
> have a meeting to help a blind couple keep their child.
> The father said to me, I can't believe that this is still happening.  
> I said that its happening everyday.
> Good luck, and I hope I have been some help.
> Blessings,
> Sincerely,
> Melissa and Pj
> Find me on:
> Twitter melissa5674
> facebook Melissa R Green
> Linkedin www.linkedin.com/in/melissagreen5674
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Si" <sieradream at gmail.com>
> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Friday, April 19, 2013 4:27 PM
> Subject: [blparent] Please,Please Read: Parenting Questions the Court 
> Will Want Me To Answer:Any Advice?
>
>
> Hey everyone, it's Si. I've been on digest mode for awhile now and 
> have been pretty out of the loop. So if any of the following questions 
> have already been answered, please, please bear with me.
>
> A Little About My Situation:
>
> As some of you may remember, I had a little girl in December. Ayla Rose.
> (Side Note: Breast feeding was finally worked out and we're seasoned 
> pros at it now.)
>
> Anyway, I'll cut to the chase. Her father is fighting me for primary 
> custody. We were never married or anything like that, so that 
> particular stresser isn't a factor. He lives out of state, which is 
> why shared custody won't work.
>
> He's basing my quote-unquote "incompetence" largely on the fact that I 
> am blind.
>
> This leads me to the following questions. I have ideas for answers, 
> but I'd like all the advice and suggestions you all can give me from 
> your personal experience. My lawyer wants me to gather all the ammo I 
> can with these questions, not because I'm incompetent. I have 
> professionals working with me who can vouch for that. But because I 
> want to have all these answers ready when the "How will you do this?" 
> questions come flying at me in the upcoming depositions. Which are the 
> 29th, so any advice before then will be really, really, really 
> appreciated.
>
> Questions:
>
> I'll put down the question, then I'll put down my own answers so you 
> guys know what I'm thinking. Please feel free to add to my answers 
> with any and all advice.
>
> Please forgive me if these come off as biased. I'm blind too, so I 
> mean no insult. I know our safety precautions are much the same as 
> those of sighted parents, but let's face it, some things are different 
> and those are the things I need to focus on.
>
> Q: What were some of the blindness-related safety precautions you took 
> when your little one began to crawl / walk?
>
> A: When Ayla begins to be mobile, I plan on attaching bells to her 
> shoes and clothing. I also plan on attaching a child locater to her so 
> that if I don't hear her moving, I can hit a button and locate her.
>
> I have also started to baby proof my home like any other sighted parent.
>
> I don't keep dangerous objects on a level which she can get to.
>
> I don't have a lot of extra items such as knick-knacks, lamps, end 
> tables, etc that she can grab hold of and pull down on herself.
>
> I search the floor on my hands and knees for any small objects that 
> may have fallen and that could provide a choking hazard.
>
> Q: How did you teach your child his or her colors?
> This is another reason he's claiming I'm unfit. He claims I won't be 
> able to teach Ayla her colors.
>
> A: Seedlings provides many print-braille books that have both a 
> picture of a specific color or object that bears the color and the 
> braille captioning so that I will know what object and color is being 
> shown. I can teach Ayla her colors with the following:
> Seedlings color books
> Real life objects such as a red tomato, yellow banana, orange carrot 
> or green apple.
>
> I can purchase toys such as plastic fruit, plastic blocks, etc and 
> label the different colors in braille.
>
> I can create a fabric color book that will not only teach her texture, 
> but colors as well. This book can also be labeled in braille.
>
> How did you teach your child that pointing at objects and saying 
> "What's that?" don't work for you?
> This question is something specific the father wrote down. He feels 
> it's detremental to Ayla for me to raise her because when she points 
> at something and says "What's that?" I won't be able to answer.
>
> A: Children know what they are taught. They also mimick what they observe.
> As she grows, Ayla will observe that pointing at objects holds no 
> meaning for me. Even now, when I talk to her and teach her what 
> objects are, I put my hand on the object, say the name, then put her 
> hand on the object and repeat its name. This will teach her that in 
> order to show mommy something, I need to be touching it.
>
> Granted, I know this won't work for absolutely everything, so any 
> suggestions here will really, really help.
>
> Q: How do you know when the baby has a bruise or abbrasion? How do you 
> treat the area without being able to see it?
>
> Q: How would you respond in an emergency?
>
> A: Same as anyone else. 911 then CPR or whatever a first aid class 
> says to do. I'll be registering for one shortly.
>
> Q: Are there any special devices or adaptive technology you use to 
> make caring for your child easier? If you guys can provide any links, 
> that would be so awesome.
>
> Q: How do you measure your child's liquid medicine when they are ill?
>
> A: I have a standard syringe that has been marked in both CC's as well 
> as teaspoons. Any other methods would be appreciated though.
>
> This is all I can think of for now. If I didn't address anything and 
> you guys think it's important, please let me know. I'm open to any and 
> all advice.
>
> Yours,
> Si
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> blparent:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/graduate56%40jun
> o.com
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> blparent:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/sieradream%40gma
> il.com

_______________________________________________
blparent mailing list
blparent at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
blparent:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/pickrellrebecca%40gmai
l.com