[blparent] update on our lives

[Jo Elizabeth Pinto]

Shannon, please don't force your son to sit on the toilet for long periods 
of time like that, and especially please don't hold him there.  At the risk 
of facing more personal attacks on this list, I'm going to tell you what 
happened to me when I was his age, because I feel the topic is important 
enough that I have to air it, come what may.

I was a late potty trainer.  It might have been because I was premature, or 
it could have been because I grew up in a physically and emotionally abusive 
home.  I'm not saying you are in any way abusive, so bear with me.  My first 
vivid memory ever, at about age four, is of telling my mom I had wet my 
pants, and then landing on the linoleum floor in the next room, and thinking 
oh!  The world tipped over!  To this day, when I get stressed out, I feel 
that same sensation of being airborne with the ground rushing up toward me.

Anyway, after that, my mom started a program of making me sit on the toilet 
for literally hours sometimes.  If I cried, she put a piece of tape over my 
mouth to keep it shut.  If I had accidents, I got spanked, sometimes quite 
harshly.  I was in junior high before the mishaps, mostly wetting but a few 
of the other, stopped.  I remember feeling miserable sitting on the toilet, 
and it never helped anything.  Once I even sat there all night.  All it will 
do is confuse your son, especially if he really can't tell when he has to 
go, and make him sad and angry.  It's a completely terrible idea.

As for the religious thing, just ignore the blabbing of the ignorant. 
Taking your child to a doctor doesn't say anything about your faith or lack 
thereof, and developmental problems because of drug exposure in utero are 
real.

Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may 
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at 
evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
-----Original Message----- 
From: Shannan Zinck
Sent: Saturday, February 02, 2013 3:53 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] update on our lives

Meh He would refuse sometimes and not others, just depends on his mood.

Today I was talking about this to some very close friends and their
suggestion was to plant him on the toilet until he goes and hold him there.
It turned my stomach to think about doing that. They say it worked for
them. They basically shot down the thought that there might be something
holding him back. Not sure how to feel about that. When I mentioned that he
doesn't even bat an eye or make any indication when he poops they just said
he was too distracted to notice. When I say things on list with you guys
I'm not overly daunted by negative remarks but, from them it's
discouraging. My son is a person with feelings and not an ox to be goaded,
or in this case man handled into submission. I know kids need discipline
but, how far should that really go I mean I of all people should know how
my son feels, I wet the bed til I was twelve and my parents never bothered
to get me checked, so I got teased by not only my peers but, also my
family. I can't put him through that if there is something preventing him
he has the right to time and help if needed right? We live in a network
where if I get outside help it will be royally frowned upon and we are
already being ribbed because of my health issues, we get teased almost
daily and my husband never hears the end of questions like "are you allowed
to come out and play? Or will your wife let you?" I get sick a lot always
have which makes things difficult for all of us let alone our peers
constantly at us besides. Now the late potty thing is just another thing to
pick at. If I try to go with the fact that he's a bit under developed I
just get flack and if I try to involve a doc I'll get the whole thing of
lack of faith. (for those that are not christians ignore this part, unless
you've been there you wouldn't get it and by no means does this reflect on
who God is it's just how some humans perceive God sees us. pleas do not
blame him.") Back on track, Is it even right to force your child to sit for
endless amounts of time on the toilet making him wait to poop and who truly
has the time for that anyway. I'd be there for hours at a time I'm sure,
when I said that they just said that's the way it goes basically.
GRRRRRRR!!! I'm so frustrated. Can my child truly rule me just because I
let him take his time to train. MAN my head hurts.

-- 
Shannan Zinck
Survival is letting GOD take over!!!
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