[blparent] update on our lives.
Jo Elizabeth Pinto
jopinto at msn.com
Thu Jan 31 18:48:41 UTC 2013
As a kid gets bigger, the poops get bigger. As his diet becomes more
varied, the poops get more disgusting. It's a fact of life. Someone can
love her kid with heart and soul and still be repulsed at the thought of
dealing with yet another diaper ... been there, done that. I don't think
there's a deeper issue than that going on.
Jo Elizabeth
Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at
evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
-----Original Message-----
From: Dianna Alley
Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 11:35 AM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
Well it is disgusting I mean we love our kids but as they get older it gets
harder to change and nastier that does not mean she has an issue with her
child or his body. He should be trained by now accept for maybe an accident
or two. I think some of you all just like to find issue with people.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Gabe Vega" <theblindtech at gmail.com>
To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 12:19 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
> I'll be honest, I kind of scratched my head in wonder about that statement
> as well, about her not liking changing her son. yes, I understand he's
> big, and yes I understand the potential underlining issues, but, just
> weird to here a mother say that. thats all.
> Gabe Vega
> CEO
> Commtech LLC
> Web: http://commtechusa.net
> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
> Email: info at commtechusa.net
> Phone: (623) 565-9357
>
> On Jan 31, 2013, at 8:09 AM, "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)"
> <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com> wrote:
>
>> Shannon,
>> I'm concerned when you say you are disgusted by your son's diapers.
>> You're his mother and of all people his body shouldn't disgust you.
>> I get that you wish he'd be potty trained already. I get that he's
>> probably produced some nasty poops. What I don't get is continual
>> disgust. I would understand if you said "Wow that diaper sure was gross"
>> or "that poop should go into the toxic waste disposal system" but not
>> continual disgust.
>>
>> I'm wondering if some of your disgust is due to other issues, or if you
>> haven't learned techniques to deal with his diapers effectively. You say
>> your vision is very limited. I'm wondering if you thought "My kid will be
>> out of diapers, I don't need to even think about how to change a diaper
>> and not see while I do it".
>> You have many other issues in your post. Your sitter needs to go if she's
>> not behaving appropriately. Don't excuse her behavior. Your son will
>> learn boundaries, though his boundaries may not be boundaries you like.
>> That's ok, he's his own person. Convey to him that he can always tell
>> somebody to stop what they are doing, and that you will always have his
>> back. You won't convey this if you view his body as a disgusting thing
>> that you shouldn't have to deal with.
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jennifer
>> Jackson
>> Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2013 12:10 AM
>> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>
>> I think it is time to get a doctor involved. The toileting thing by
>> itself
>> should be addressed because something is wrong. You can not move forward
>> with any kind of training or addressing it from an emotional or
>> psychological stand point until you rule out some kind of physical
>> problem.
>>
>> Please also talk to your doctor about getting a developmental evaluation
>> for
>> your son. I know my youngest son's audiologist has been using the blocks
>> in
>> the bucket with his testing since he was about two. I do not want to
>> worry
>> you, but you should move forward on this right away. Developmental
>> problems
>> are most easy to address with younger children.
>>
>> I do have a thought on making living with the current toileting situation
>> easier to live with though. Perhaps you could routinely spend some time
>> with
>> him just sitting on the toilet several times a day. Maybe singing or
>> listening to music to entertain him? If he goes in the toilet that is an
>> extra blessing because it is one less mess for someone else to clean up.
>> A
>> little time learning to relax on the toilet may also encourage him to
>> physically relax and be able to go. My thought is that whatever the
>> problem
>> is that is keeping him from becoming trained, this kind of routine will
>> aid
>> the situation. If you know what time he normally goes in his pull up then
>> try to do this around that same time with the idea of perhaps preventing
>> having to clean it yourself.
>>
>>
>> Jennifer
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Shannan
>> Zinck
>> Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2013 5:50 PM
>> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
>> Subject: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>
>> Hi all, it's been a long time. due to the condition with my eye (which is
>> still ongoing) I have had to really limit my computer time as I use large
>> print and not screen readers though if this goes on much longer I may
>> have
>> to consider that possibility just to keep in touch. Anyway a couple
>> questions.
>>
>> I'm wondering if anyone has struggled with a much older child with potty
>> training. Myles just turned 4 yesterday and is still not trained. We
>> thought originally that he might just be stubborn but, now I'm not so
>> sure.
>> Though he is strong willed he does listen pretty good to us. He can be
>> playing along like nothing is happening and all of a sudden he'll tell me
>> he peed but, that's only when his pullup is full and I mean leaking and
>> running down his leg full. He can have several pees and not even notice
>> and
>> same with BM's he doesn't stop for those either. He knows how to use the
>> toilet and even goes in by himself quite often but, really it's hit and
>> miss even with a half hourly schedule. He says he can't tell if he needs
>> to
>> go or not and up until today I didn't believe him but, When he lies he
>> changes his story constantly so he's easy to catch. He maintains the same
>> story when it comes to knowing when he needs to go or not and say he
>> doesn't know. I never know when he's going in his pants and he is a major
>> people person so is in my space all the time so he is rarely in a
>> different
>> room then either his father or myself. We've been working on potty
>> training
>> for over 2 years now and recently even have been making him change his
>> own
>> pullup when wet. We thought this tactic would encourage him to try harder
>> but no dice. # 2 he has never tried on the toilet and no future prospect
>> is in sight for that. I'm beginning to get quite concerned given his age.
>> I
>> know physically he is a bit behind due to the drugs in his system at
>> birth
>> but, not enough to cause concern. He always catches up. However at his
>> age
>> we are getting to the place where babysitters are pretty much impossible
>> to
>> get because he is huge to begin with and no one wants to change a kid
>> that
>> age and size. He's 4 like I said and is over 3 feet tall weighing well
>> over
>> 40lbs. I can't stand changing him and I'm his mom so I can just imagine
>> how
>> a sitter would feel. When there is a medical issue it's easy to explain
>> it
>> but, when there's such a gray area to what could be wrong it's not so
>> simple. I'm just plain discouraged and confused. I'm wondering if it's
>> time
>> to get a doctor involved or just wait it out and see if the slow
>> development is the problem. I'd hate to push the issue only to find out
>> later that there was something wrong but, if it's just laziness on his
>> part
>> fd hat to let it go. He can't even get involved in group activities yet
>> because he's not trained, it's down right embarrassing. You know it's
>> funny
>> that before I had kids of my own I swore I'd never have a child who
>> wasn't
>> trained by the time they were 2 and now look at us. For all the parents
>> who
>> struggle with or have struggled with this issue I apologize whole
>> heartedly. I realize now that you can't choose what life will bring you
>> all
>> you can do is work through it. Part of this is because with my eye
>> problems
>> as bad as they have been we decided for a short while to let training go
>> because I am so limited in what I can do right now but, that lovely issue
>> has been going on so long almost 2 years now that we can no longer just
>> leave it alone. This past year has been a strange one for sure.
>> Also today we discovered that he seems to struggle with putting 2 and 2
>> together. figuring out simple concepts so we wonder if that has something
>> to do with potty training as well. We took him for a hearing test and he
>> can hear fine however when asked to put blocks into a bucket whenever he
>> heard a beep he couldn't do it for some reason. he wanted to and when I
>> did
>> it with him he did it fine but, when doing it himself he couldn't. When
>> the
>> doc asked him if he heard the beeps he said yes but, the blocks never
>> went
>> into the bucket. He knew he had to put them in the bucket and he knew he
>> could hear the sounds but, he couldn't put the 2 things together unless
>> some one was doing it with him which isn't a true test since he was
>> copying
>> me. Now he has to go back again in a few months. I would have thought at
>> his age he'd have been able to figure out how the do this. I'm wondering
>> what kids at his age should know how to do. average kids that is. It's
>> been
>> a long few months though I finally have a follow up appointment for my
>> eye
>> and am hoping they will finally tell me when they will get around to
>> removing it. About the babysitter thing also I'm concerned about privacy.
>> He is older now and though he is not trained I not so sure about how
>> comfortable I am with babysitters changing him. Maybe I'm being paranoid
>> but, he is my son and I want to protect him. We are very careful about
>> who
>> babysits but, some people have different boundaries then others He's
>> getting to an age where he needs to understand boundaries and that hard
>> to
>> do when everyone who looks after him has to change his butt. One of the
>> only sitters we have due to his age that is willing does things that make
>> me uncomfortable. She isn't intentionally doing wrong things and nothing
>> alarming just concerning like the way she tickles him and things like
>> that.
>> She has little concept of proper boundaries and I'm not sure how to deal
>> with this. She's the only sitter I've got yet I'm not so sure she's good
>> for him. Don't get me wrong she not molesting him or anything like that
>> she's too childlike herself for that but, she is too touchy feely and
>> clingy for my liking. Just so you are aware I'm a VERY private person
>> overly so, so some of this could be my own paranoia as well but, I'm
>> having
>> a hard time discerning this situation. I'm not willing to have my son put
>> in harms way so I am really stomped on what to do here. I've expressed
>> this
>> to my husband and he isn't sure what to do either. She is 23 but, seems
>> to
>> act like a 14 year old. not very mature at all. any ideas sorry for the
>> book it's been a while. I'll try to keep in touch better.
>>
>>
>> --
>> Shannan Zinck
>> Survival is letting GOD take over!!!
>> _______________________________________________
>> blparent mailing list
>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> blparent:
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/jennifersjackson%40att
>> .net
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> blparent mailing list
>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> blparent:
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/rebecca.pickrell%40tasc.com
>> CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This message and any attachments or files
>> transmitted with it (collectively, the "Message") are intended only for
>> the addressee and may contain information that is privileged, proprietary
>> and/or prohibited from disclosure by law or contract. If you are not the
>> intended recipient: (a) please do not read, copy or retransmit the
>> Message; (b) permanently delete and/or destroy all electronic and hard
>> copies of the Message; (c) notify us by return email; and (d) you are
>> hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution or copying of the
>> Message is strictly prohibited.
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> blparent mailing list
>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> blparent:
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/theblindtech%40gmail.com
>
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> blparent:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/dianna24%40earthlink.net
_______________________________________________
blparent mailing list
blparent at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
blparent:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/jopinto%40msn.com
More information about the BlParent
mailing list