[blparent] update on our lives.
Marla Wertman
mwertman72 at gmail.com
Thu Jan 31 19:36:32 UTC 2013
I am just wondering what being a good parent has to do with wheather a
person works. So many working blind people seem to be offended by other
blind people who don't have a job but parenting is a full time job in
itself.
On Thu, 31 Jan 2013 13:23:09 -0600
"Dianna Alley" <dianna24 at earthlink.net> wrote:
> well shows what you know again Going to start soon and what is your point
> anyway? you may work but you seem to be emailing a lot so what kind of work
> are you doing? Most companies do not wish for you to live on your computer
> or phone while at work.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Gabe Vega" <theblindtech at gmail.com>
> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 1:17 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
>
>
> > now lets be honest here dear, you don't work.
> > Gabe Vega
> > CEO
> > Commtech LLC
> > Web: http://commtechusa.net
> > FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
> > Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
> > Email: info at commtechusa.net
> > Phone: (623) 565-9357
> >
> > On Jan 31, 2013, at 12:13 PM, "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com>
> > wrote:
> >
> >> Of course not. That's a stupid comment. I work and raise my daughter,
> >> I've changed plenty of nasty diapers and cleaned up my body weight in
> >> barf. Shannon never said she denied her son anything. She just said it
> >> was unsavory, which I'm sure it is. Most people will deal with body
> >> fluids and solids as they have to, but I don't know anybody who likes it.
> >> And you can't say she's complained about every little thing when she
> >> hasn't even posted for eons.
> >>
> >> Jo Elizabeth
> >>
> >> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you
> >> may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full
> >> at evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
> >> -----Original Message----- From: Gabe Vega
> >> Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 11:58 AM
> >> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> >> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
> >>
> >> not it at all. its just that those of us who live life, while working and
> >> raising our kids, some times even as a single parent. don't sit here and
> >> complain about the littlest things. there is nothing wrong with changing
> >> your own kids no matter how big they get. 2 months or 4 years. if they
> >> need changing and they can't do it themselves, who are we as parents to
> >> deny them the help? so if your daughter/son, threw up all over you when
> >> they had the flue, would you get mad at them? make them clean up their
> >> own Barf?
> >> Gabe Vega
> >> CEO
> >> Commtech LLC
> >> Web: http://commtechusa.net
> >> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
> >> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
> >> Email: info at commtechusa.net
> >> Phone: (623) 565-9357
> >>
> >> On Jan 31, 2013, at 11:35 AM, "Dianna Alley" <dianna24 at earthlink.net>
> >> wrote:
> >>
> >>> Well it is disgusting I mean we love our kids but as they get older it
> >>> gets harder to change and nastier that does not mean she has an issue
> >>> with her child or his body. He should be trained by now accept for
> >>> maybe an accident or two. I think some of you all just like to find
> >>> issue with people.
> >>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Gabe Vega" <theblindtech at gmail.com>
> >>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> >>> Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 12:19 PM
> >>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>> I'll be honest, I kind of scratched my head in wonder about that
> >>>> statement as well, about her not liking changing her son. yes, I
> >>>> understand he's big, and yes I understand the potential underlining
> >>>> issues, but, just weird to here a mother say that. thats all.
> >>>> Gabe Vega
> >>>> CEO
> >>>> Commtech LLC
> >>>> Web: http://commtechusa.net
> >>>> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
> >>>> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
> >>>> Email: info at commtechusa.net
> >>>> Phone: (623) 565-9357
> >>>>
> >>>> On Jan 31, 2013, at 8:09 AM, "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)"
> >>>> <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com> wrote:
> >>>>
> >>>>> Shannon,
> >>>>> I'm concerned when you say you are disgusted by your son's diapers.
> >>>>> You're his mother and of all people his body shouldn't disgust you.
> >>>>> I get that you wish he'd be potty trained already. I get that he's
> >>>>> probably produced some nasty poops. What I don't get is continual
> >>>>> disgust. I would understand if you said "Wow that diaper sure was
> >>>>> gross" or "that poop should go into the toxic waste disposal system"
> >>>>> but not continual disgust.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> I'm wondering if some of your disgust is due to other issues, or if
> >>>>> you haven't learned techniques to deal with his diapers effectively.
> >>>>> You say your vision is very limited. I'm wondering if you thought "My
> >>>>> kid will be out of diapers, I don't need to even think about how to
> >>>>> change a diaper and not see while I do it".
> >>>>> You have many other issues in your post. Your sitter needs to go if
> >>>>> she's not behaving appropriately. Don't excuse her behavior. Your son
> >>>>> will learn boundaries, though his boundaries may not be boundaries you
> >>>>> like. That's ok, he's his own person. Convey to him that he can always
> >>>>> tell somebody to stop what they are doing, and that you will always
> >>>>> have his back. You won't convey this if you view his body as a
> >>>>> disgusting thing that you shouldn't have to deal with.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> -----Original Message-----
> >>>>> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
> >>>>> Jennifer Jackson
> >>>>> Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2013 12:10 AM
> >>>>> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
> >>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> I think it is time to get a doctor involved. The toileting thing by
> >>>>> itself
> >>>>> should be addressed because something is wrong. You can not move
> >>>>> forward
> >>>>> with any kind of training or addressing it from an emotional or
> >>>>> psychological stand point until you rule out some kind of physical
> >>>>> problem.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Please also talk to your doctor about getting a developmental
> >>>>> evaluation for
> >>>>> your son. I know my youngest son's audiologist has been using the
> >>>>> blocks in
> >>>>> the bucket with his testing since he was about two. I do not want to
> >>>>> worry
> >>>>> you, but you should move forward on this right away. Developmental
> >>>>> problems
> >>>>> are most easy to address with younger children.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> I do have a thought on making living with the current toileting
> >>>>> situation
> >>>>> easier to live with though. Perhaps you could routinely spend some
> >>>>> time with
> >>>>> him just sitting on the toilet several times a day. Maybe singing or
> >>>>> listening to music to entertain him? If he goes in the toilet that is
> >>>>> an
> >>>>> extra blessing because it is one less mess for someone else to clean
> >>>>> up. A
> >>>>> little time learning to relax on the toilet may also encourage him to
> >>>>> physically relax and be able to go. My thought is that whatever the
> >>>>> problem
> >>>>> is that is keeping him from becoming trained, this kind of routine
> >>>>> will aid
> >>>>> the situation. If you know what time he normally goes in his pull up
> >>>>> then
> >>>>> try to do this around that same time with the idea of perhaps
> >>>>> preventing
> >>>>> having to clean it yourself.
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Jennifer
> >>>>>
> >>>>> -----Original Message-----
> >>>>> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
> >>>>> Shannan
> >>>>> Zinck
> >>>>> Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2013 5:50 PM
> >>>>> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> >>>>> Subject: [blparent] update on our lives.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Hi all, it's been a long time. due to the condition with my eye (which
> >>>>> is
> >>>>> still ongoing) I have had to really limit my computer time as I use
> >>>>> large
> >>>>> print and not screen readers though if this goes on much longer I may
> >>>>> have
> >>>>> to consider that possibility just to keep in touch. Anyway a couple
> >>>>> questions.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> I'm wondering if anyone has struggled with a much older child with
> >>>>> potty
> >>>>> training. Myles just turned 4 yesterday and is still not trained. We
> >>>>> thought originally that he might just be stubborn but, now I'm not so
> >>>>> sure.
> >>>>> Though he is strong willed he does listen pretty good to us. He can be
> >>>>> playing along like nothing is happening and all of a sudden he'll tell
> >>>>> me
> >>>>> he peed but, that's only when his pullup is full and I mean leaking
> >>>>> and
> >>>>> running down his leg full. He can have several pees and not even
> >>>>> notice and
> >>>>> same with BM's he doesn't stop for those either. He knows how to use
> >>>>> the
> >>>>> toilet and even goes in by himself quite often but, really it's hit
> >>>>> and
> >>>>> miss even with a half hourly schedule. He says he can't tell if he
> >>>>> needs to
> >>>>> go or not and up until today I didn't believe him but, When he lies he
> >>>>> changes his story constantly so he's easy to catch. He maintains the
> >>>>> same
> >>>>> story when it comes to knowing when he needs to go or not and say he
> >>>>> doesn't know. I never know when he's going in his pants and he is a
> >>>>> major
> >>>>> people person so is in my space all the time so he is rarely in a
> >>>>> different
> >>>>> room then either his father or myself. We've been working on potty
> >>>>> training
> >>>>> for over 2 years now and recently even have been making him change his
> >>>>> own
> >>>>> pullup when wet. We thought this tactic would encourage him to try
> >>>>> harder
> >>>>> but no dice. # 2 he has never tried on the toilet and no future
> >>>>> prospect
> >>>>> is in sight for that. I'm beginning to get quite concerned given his
> >>>>> age. I
> >>>>> know physically he is a bit behind due to the drugs in his system at
> >>>>> birth
> >>>>> but, not enough to cause concern. He always catches up. However at his
> >>>>> age
> >>>>> we are getting to the place where babysitters are pretty much
> >>>>> impossible to
> >>>>> get because he is huge to begin with and no one wants to change a kid
> >>>>> that
> >>>>> age and size. He's 4 like I said and is over 3 feet tall weighing well
> >>>>> over
> >>>>> 40lbs. I can't stand changing him and I'm his mom so I can just
> >>>>> imagine how
> >>>>> a sitter would feel. When there is a medical issue it's easy to
> >>>>> explain it
> >>>>> but, when there's such a gray area to what could be wrong it's not so
> >>>>> simple. I'm just plain discouraged and confused. I'm wondering if it's
> >>>>> time
> >>>>> to get a doctor involved or just wait it out and see if the slow
> >>>>> development is the problem. I'd hate to push the issue only to find
> >>>>> out
> >>>>> later that there was something wrong but, if it's just laziness on his
> >>>>> part
> >>>>> fd hat to let it go. He can't even get involved in group activities
> >>>>> yet
> >>>>> because he's not trained, it's down right embarrassing. You know it's
> >>>>> funny
> >>>>> that before I had kids of my own I swore I'd never have a child who
> >>>>> wasn't
> >>>>> trained by the time they were 2 and now look at us. For all the
> >>>>> parents who
> >>>>> struggle with or have struggled with this issue I apologize whole
> >>>>> heartedly. I realize now that you can't choose what life will bring
> >>>>> you all
> >>>>> you can do is work through it. Part of this is because with my eye
> >>>>> problems
> >>>>> as bad as they have been we decided for a short while to let training
> >>>>> go
> >>>>> because I am so limited in what I can do right now but, that lovely
> >>>>> issue
> >>>>> has been going on so long almost 2 years now that we can no longer
> >>>>> just
> >>>>> leave it alone. This past year has been a strange one for sure.
> >>>>> Also today we discovered that he seems to struggle with putting 2 and
> >>>>> 2
> >>>>> together. figuring out simple concepts so we wonder if that has
> >>>>> something
> >>>>> to do with potty training as well. We took him for a hearing test and
> >>>>> he
> >>>>> can hear fine however when asked to put blocks into a bucket whenever
> >>>>> he
> >>>>> heard a beep he couldn't do it for some reason. he wanted to and when
> >>>>> I did
> >>>>> it with him he did it fine but, when doing it himself he couldn't.
> >>>>> When the
> >>>>> doc asked him if he heard the beeps he said yes but, the blocks never
> >>>>> went
> >>>>> into the bucket. He knew he had to put them in the bucket and he knew
> >>>>> he
> >>>>> could hear the sounds but, he couldn't put the 2 things together
> >>>>> unless
> >>>>> some one was doing it with him which isn't a true test since he was
> >>>>> copying
> >>>>> me. Now he has to go back again in a few months. I would have thought
> >>>>> at
> >>>>> his age he'd have been able to figure out how the do this. I'm
> >>>>> wondering
> >>>>> what kids at his age should know how to do. average kids that is. It's
> >>>>> been
> >>>>> a long few months though I finally have a follow up appointment for my
> >>>>> eye
> >>>>> and am hoping they will finally tell me when they will get around to
> >>>>> removing it. About the babysitter thing also I'm concerned about
> >>>>> privacy.
> >>>>> He is older now and though he is not trained I not so sure about how
> >>>>> comfortable I am with babysitters changing him. Maybe I'm being
> >>>>> paranoid
> >>>>> but, he is my son and I want to protect him. We are very careful about
> >>>>> who
> >>>>> babysits but, some people have different boundaries then others He's
> >>>>> getting to an age where he needs to understand boundaries and that
> >>>>> hard to
> >>>>> do when everyone who looks after him has to change his butt. One of
> >>>>> the
> >>>>> only sitters we have due to his age that is willing does things that
> >>>>> make
> >>>>> me uncomfortable. She isn't intentionally doing wrong things and
> >>>>> nothing
> >>>>> alarming just concerning like the way she tickles him and things like
> >>>>> that.
> >>>>> She has little concept of proper boundaries and I'm not sure how to
> >>>>> deal
> >>>>> with this. She's the only sitter I've got yet I'm not so sure she's
> >>>>> good
> >>>>> for him. Don't get me wrong she not molesting him or anything like
> >>>>> that
> >>>>> she's too childlike herself for that but, she is too touchy feely and
> >>>>> clingy for my liking. Just so you are aware I'm a VERY private person
> >>>>> overly so, so some of this could be my own paranoia as well but, I'm
> >>>>> having
> >>>>> a hard time discerning this situation. I'm not willing to have my son
> >>>>> put
> >>>>> in harms way so I am really stomped on what to do here. I've expressed
> >>>>> this
> >>>>> to my husband and he isn't sure what to do either. She is 23 but,
> >>>>> seems to
> >>>>> act like a 14 year old. not very mature at all. any ideas sorry for
> >>>>> the
> >>>>> book it's been a while. I'll try to keep in touch better.
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> --
> >>>>> Shannan Zinck
> >>>>> Survival is letting GOD take over!!!
> >>>>> _______________________________________________
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> >>>>>
> >>>>>
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--
Marla Wertman <mwertman72 at gmail.com>
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