[blparent] update on our lives.

[Dianna Alley]

Why are you putting that out here?  You do not owe him or anybody on here 
anything.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com>
To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 1:37 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.


> I've not been on SSI for many years, Gabe.  I've worked enough to get 
> regular Disability and Medicare, and my check doesn't make up the bulk of 
> my income, which is none of your business anyway.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may 
> kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at 
> evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: Gabe Vega
> Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 12:23 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
>
> then you shouldn't bring things on list you don't want comments on. you 
> are the one that brought of working. but last time you wrote about being 
> on SSI. so did you receive a SSI check this month. if so, then you aren't 
> working, atleast enough to claim you are selfrelient.
> Gabe Vega
> CEO
> Commtech LLC
> Web: http://commtechusa.net
> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
> Email: info at commtechusa.net
> Phone: (623) 565-9357
>
> On Jan 31, 2013, at 12:21 PM, "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com> 
> wrote:
>
>> Don't start that again.  Just don't.  I'm working right now, proofreading 
>> a novel for a braille production house out of Philadelphia.  You have no 
>> way to know what I do or don't do, so keep your remarks about my personal 
>> life to yourself, please.
>>
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you 
>> may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full 
>> at evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
>> -----Original Message----- From: Gabe Vega
>> Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 12:17 PM
>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>
>> now lets be honest here dear, you don't work.
>> Gabe Vega
>> CEO
>> Commtech LLC
>> Web: http://commtechusa.net
>> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
>> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
>> Email: info at commtechusa.net
>> Phone: (623) 565-9357
>>
>> On Jan 31, 2013, at 12:13 PM, "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com> 
>> wrote:
>>
>>> Of course not.  That's a stupid comment.  I work and raise my daughter, 
>>> I've changed plenty of nasty diapers and cleaned up my body weight in 
>>> barf. Shannon never said she denied her son anything.  She just said it 
>>> was unsavory, which I'm sure it is.  Most people will deal with body 
>>> fluids and solids as they have to, but I don't know anybody who likes 
>>> it. And you can't say she's complained about every little thing when she 
>>> hasn't even posted for eons.
>>>
>>> Jo Elizabeth
>>>
>>> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you 
>>> may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full 
>>> at evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
>>> -----Original Message----- From: Gabe Vega
>>> Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 11:58 AM
>>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>>
>>> not it at all. its just that those of us who live life, while working 
>>> and raising our kids, some times even as a single parent. don't sit here 
>>> and complain about the littlest things. there is nothing wrong with 
>>> changing your own kids no matter how big they get. 2 months or 4 years. 
>>> if they need changing and they can't do it themselves, who are we as 
>>> parents to deny them the help? so if your daughter/son, threw up all 
>>> over you when they had the flue, would you get mad at them? make them 
>>> clean up their own Barf?
>>> Gabe Vega
>>> CEO
>>> Commtech LLC
>>> Web: http://commtechusa.net
>>> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
>>> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
>>> Email: info at commtechusa.net
>>> Phone: (623) 565-9357
>>>
>>> On Jan 31, 2013, at 11:35 AM, "Dianna Alley" <dianna24 at earthlink.net> 
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Well it is disgusting I mean we love our kids but as they get older it 
>>>> gets harder to change and nastier that does not mean she has an issue 
>>>> with her child or his body.  He should be trained by now accept for 
>>>> maybe an accident or two.  I think some of you all just like to find 
>>>> issue with people.
>>>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Gabe Vega" <theblindtech at gmail.com>
>>>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 12:19 PM
>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> I'll be honest, I kind of scratched my head in wonder about that 
>>>>> statement as well, about her not liking changing her son. yes, I 
>>>>> understand he's big, and yes I understand the potential underlining 
>>>>> issues, but, just weird to here a mother say that. thats all.
>>>>> Gabe Vega
>>>>> CEO
>>>>> Commtech LLC
>>>>> Web: http://commtechusa.net
>>>>> FaceBook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
>>>>> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
>>>>> Email: info at commtechusa.net
>>>>> Phone: (623) 565-9357
>>>>>
>>>>> On Jan 31, 2013, at 8:09 AM, "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" 
>>>>> <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> Shannon,
>>>>>> I'm concerned when you say you are disgusted by your son's diapers. 
>>>>>> You're his mother and of all people his body shouldn't disgust you.
>>>>>> I get that you wish he'd be potty trained already.  I get that he's 
>>>>>> probably produced some nasty poops. What I don't get is continual 
>>>>>> disgust. I would understand if you said "Wow that diaper sure was 
>>>>>> gross" or "that poop should go into the toxic waste disposal system" 
>>>>>> but not continual disgust.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I'm wondering if some of your disgust is due to other issues, or if 
>>>>>> you haven't learned techniques to deal with his diapers effectively. 
>>>>>> You say your vision is very limited. I'm wondering if you thought "My 
>>>>>> kid will be out of diapers, I don't need to even think about how to 
>>>>>> change a diaper and not see while I do it".
>>>>>> You have many other issues in your post. Your sitter needs to go if 
>>>>>> she's not behaving appropriately. Don't excuse her behavior.  Your 
>>>>>> son will learn boundaries, though his boundaries may not be 
>>>>>> boundaries you like. That's ok, he's his own person. Convey to him 
>>>>>> that he can always tell somebody to stop what they are doing, and 
>>>>>> that you will always have his back.   You won't convey this if you 
>>>>>> view his body as a disgusting thing that you shouldn't have to deal 
>>>>>> with.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of 
>>>>>> Jennifer Jackson
>>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2013 12:10 AM
>>>>>> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
>>>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I think it is time to get a doctor involved. The toileting thing by 
>>>>>> itself
>>>>>> should be addressed because something is wrong. You can not move 
>>>>>> forward
>>>>>> with any kind of training or addressing it from an emotional or
>>>>>> psychological stand point until you rule out some kind of physical 
>>>>>> problem.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Please also talk to your doctor about getting a developmental 
>>>>>> evaluation for
>>>>>> your son. I know my youngest son's audiologist has been using the 
>>>>>> blocks in
>>>>>> the bucket with his testing since he was about two. I do not want to 
>>>>>> worry
>>>>>> you, but you should move forward on this right away. Developmental 
>>>>>> problems
>>>>>> are most easy to address with younger children.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I do have a thought on making living with the current toileting 
>>>>>> situation
>>>>>> easier to live with though. Perhaps you could routinely spend some 
>>>>>> time with
>>>>>> him just sitting on the toilet several times a day. Maybe singing or
>>>>>> listening to music to entertain him? If he goes in the toilet that is 
>>>>>> an
>>>>>> extra blessing because it is one less mess for someone else to clean 
>>>>>> up. A
>>>>>> little time learning to relax on the toilet may also encourage him to
>>>>>> physically relax and be able to go. My thought is that whatever the 
>>>>>> problem
>>>>>> is that is keeping him from becoming trained, this kind of routine 
>>>>>> will aid
>>>>>> the situation. If you know what time he normally goes in his pull up 
>>>>>> then
>>>>>> try to do this around that same time with the idea of perhaps 
>>>>>> preventing
>>>>>> having to clean it yourself.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Jennifer
>>>>>>
>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of 
>>>>>> Shannan
>>>>>> Zinck
>>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2013 5:50 PM
>>>>>> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
>>>>>> Subject: [blparent] update on our lives.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Hi all, it's been a long time. due to the condition with my eye 
>>>>>> (which is
>>>>>> still ongoing) I have had to really limit my computer time as I use 
>>>>>> large
>>>>>> print and not screen readers though if this goes on much longer I may 
>>>>>> have
>>>>>> to consider that possibility just to keep in touch. Anyway a couple
>>>>>> questions.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I'm wondering if anyone has struggled with a much older child with 
>>>>>> potty
>>>>>> training. Myles just turned 4 yesterday and is still not trained. We
>>>>>> thought originally that he might just be stubborn but, now I'm not so 
>>>>>> sure.
>>>>>> Though he is strong willed he does listen pretty good to us. He can 
>>>>>> be
>>>>>> playing along like nothing is happening and all of a sudden he'll 
>>>>>> tell me
>>>>>> he peed but, that's only when his pullup is full and I mean leaking 
>>>>>> and
>>>>>> running down his leg full. He can have several pees and not even 
>>>>>> notice and
>>>>>> same with BM's he doesn't stop for those either. He knows how to use 
>>>>>> the
>>>>>> toilet and even goes in by himself quite often but, really it's hit 
>>>>>> and
>>>>>> miss even with a half hourly schedule. He says he can't tell if he 
>>>>>> needs to
>>>>>> go or not and up until today I didn't believe him but, When he lies 
>>>>>> he
>>>>>> changes his story constantly so he's easy to catch. He maintains the 
>>>>>> same
>>>>>> story when it comes to knowing when he needs to go or not and say he
>>>>>> doesn't know. I never know when he's going in his pants and he is a 
>>>>>> major
>>>>>> people person so is in my space all the time so he is rarely in a 
>>>>>> different
>>>>>> room then either his father or myself. We've been working on potty 
>>>>>> training
>>>>>> for over 2 years now and recently even have been making him change 
>>>>>> his own
>>>>>> pullup when wet. We thought this tactic would encourage him to try 
>>>>>> harder
>>>>>> but no dice. # 2  he has never tried on the toilet and no future 
>>>>>> prospect
>>>>>> is in sight for that. I'm beginning to get quite concerned given his 
>>>>>> age. I
>>>>>> know physically he is a bit behind due to the drugs in his system at 
>>>>>> birth
>>>>>> but, not enough to cause concern. He always catches up. However at 
>>>>>> his age
>>>>>> we are getting to the place where babysitters are pretty much 
>>>>>> impossible to
>>>>>> get because he is huge to begin with and no one wants to change a kid 
>>>>>> that
>>>>>> age and size. He's 4 like I said and is over 3 feet tall weighing 
>>>>>> well over
>>>>>> 40lbs. I can't stand changing him and I'm his mom so I can just 
>>>>>> imagine how
>>>>>> a sitter would feel. When there is a medical issue it's easy to 
>>>>>> explain it
>>>>>> but, when there's such a gray area to what could be wrong it's not so
>>>>>> simple. I'm just plain discouraged and confused. I'm wondering if 
>>>>>> it's time
>>>>>> to get a doctor involved or just wait it out and see if the slow
>>>>>> development is the problem. I'd hate to push the issue only to find 
>>>>>> out
>>>>>> later that there was something wrong but, if it's just laziness on 
>>>>>> his part
>>>>>> fd hat to let it go. He can't even get involved in group activities 
>>>>>> yet
>>>>>> because he's not trained, it's down right embarrassing. You know it's 
>>>>>> funny
>>>>>> that before I had kids of my own I swore I'd never have a child who 
>>>>>> wasn't
>>>>>> trained by the time they were 2 and now look at us. For all the 
>>>>>> parents who
>>>>>> struggle with or have struggled with this issue I apologize whole
>>>>>> heartedly. I realize now that you can't choose what life will bring 
>>>>>> you all
>>>>>> you can do is work through it. Part of this is because with my eye 
>>>>>> problems
>>>>>> as bad as they have been we decided for a short while to let training 
>>>>>> go
>>>>>> because I am so limited in what I can do right now but, that lovely 
>>>>>> issue
>>>>>> has been going on so long almost 2 years now that we can no longer 
>>>>>> just
>>>>>> leave it alone. This past year has been a strange one for sure.
>>>>>> Also today we discovered that he seems to struggle with putting 2 and 
>>>>>> 2
>>>>>> together. figuring out simple concepts so we wonder if that has 
>>>>>> something
>>>>>> to do with potty training as well. We took him for a hearing test and 
>>>>>> he
>>>>>> can hear fine however when asked to put blocks into a bucket whenever 
>>>>>> he
>>>>>> heard a beep he couldn't do it for some reason. he wanted to and when 
>>>>>> I did
>>>>>> it with him he did it fine but, when doing it himself he couldn't. 
>>>>>> When the
>>>>>> doc asked him if he heard the beeps he said yes but, the blocks never 
>>>>>> went
>>>>>> into the bucket. He knew he had to put them in the bucket and he knew 
>>>>>> he
>>>>>> could hear the sounds but, he couldn't put the 2 things together 
>>>>>> unless
>>>>>> some one was doing it with him which isn't a true test since he was 
>>>>>> copying
>>>>>> me. Now he has to go back again in a few months. I would have thought 
>>>>>> at
>>>>>> his age he'd have been able to figure out how the do this. I'm 
>>>>>> wondering
>>>>>> what kids at his age should know how to do. average kids that is. 
>>>>>> It's been
>>>>>> a long few months though I finally have a follow up appointment for 
>>>>>> my eye
>>>>>> and am hoping they will finally tell me when they will get around to
>>>>>> removing it. About the babysitter thing also I'm concerned about 
>>>>>> privacy.
>>>>>> He is older now and though he is not trained I not so sure about how
>>>>>> comfortable I am with babysitters changing him. Maybe I'm being 
>>>>>> paranoid
>>>>>> but, he is my son and I want to protect him. We are very careful 
>>>>>> about who
>>>>>> babysits but, some people have different boundaries then others He's
>>>>>> getting to an age where he needs to understand boundaries and that 
>>>>>> hard to
>>>>>> do when everyone who looks after him has to change his butt. One of 
>>>>>> the
>>>>>> only sitters we have due to his age that is willing does things that 
>>>>>> make
>>>>>> me uncomfortable. She isn't intentionally doing wrong things and 
>>>>>> nothing
>>>>>> alarming just concerning like the way she tickles him and things like 
>>>>>> that.
>>>>>> She has little concept of proper boundaries and I'm not sure how to 
>>>>>> deal
>>>>>> with this. She's the only sitter I've got yet I'm not so sure she's 
>>>>>> good
>>>>>> for him. Don't get me wrong she not molesting him or anything like 
>>>>>> that
>>>>>> she's too childlike herself for that but, she is too touchy feely and
>>>>>> clingy for my liking. Just so you are aware I'm a VERY private person
>>>>>> overly so, so some of this could be my own paranoia as well but, I'm 
>>>>>> having
>>>>>> a hard time discerning this situation. I'm not willing to have my son 
>>>>>> put
>>>>>> in harms way so I am really stomped on what to do here. I've 
>>>>>> expressed this
>>>>>> to my husband and he isn't sure what to do either. She is 23 but, 
>>>>>> seems to
>>>>>> act like a 14 year old. not very mature at all. any ideas sorry for 
>>>>>> the
>>>>>> book it's been a while. I'll try to keep in touch better.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> --
>>>>>> Shannan Zinck
>>>>>> Survival is letting GOD take over!!!
>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>>
>>>>>>
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>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
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