[blparent] Finding ticks on kids nonvisually?

Fri Jul 12 03:51:22 UTC 2013

Very true. We are the ones who best know how to do things. My latest motto
when someone asks if they can help is to say yes, you can help me by
standing back and letting me do this the way I'd like to do it. It's not
your way and it's not going to be your way but that's okay. If I need some
info that only an eye could give such as print I'll ask for it. There's a
huge shift in how people treat you if you approach situations as let me
figure this one out.

Michelle

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Veronica
Smith
Sent: Thursday, July 11, 2013 6:57 PM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] Finding ticks on kids nonvisually?

Michelle, sometimes our sighted friends think their way is the best, but we,
blind mom and dads, know better.
I used to think I should ask my sighted neighbors to help with this and
that, but as I got more comfortable with doing it  all myself, I didn't as
them.
Of course, reading print, then I do need the help.  
However, the internet has solved many of those problems I had.

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Michelle
Creedy
Sent: Thursday, July 11, 2013 4:45 PM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] Finding ticks on kids nonvisually?

Totally agreed Steve. Of course I'd do the looking first. In no way did I
want to suggest that I'd ask someone for information I didn't think I could
find. It was merely a thought. I'd probably myself not necessarily bother to
ask someone but not knowing the person I was responding to I thought why not
just throw all the ideas out there and let them pick. It honestly didn't
really occur to me to turn it into a whole philosophy session.

Not only am I new at all this but I'm obviously from a very very very
different way of thinking so I think I'll just keep to asking very
straight-forward questions on the list. Thanks for your comments.

Michelle

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Steve
Jacobson
Sent: Thursday, July 11, 2013 3:00 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Finding ticks on kids nonvisually?

Michelle,

Probably in part because I agree wit  her, I don't see where she made any
blanket statements.  I think it is very important as blind parents and blind
people that we are careful to explore our own capabilities before we assume
that a sighted person is automatically more capable than we are to handle a
given situation.  While you did not specifically say that this was the case,
you did seem to be predisposed in your note to having your friends gather
information for you even though you are using that information to make your
own decisions.  I would submit that you don't have to be a nurse or even
sighted to find a tick on a child.  If one is wondering if they found ticks,
I don't see any problem with having a sighted friend verify to help a new
parent build confidence, but to me, this process just isn't aht mysterious.
We do share idease on this list, but it's also reasonable to share the pros
and the cons of various approaches,.  

As new parents, we are going to lack experience and we will need some help.
Some of that help we can get by talking to experts and with friends as well
as people here.  Remember, though, that your friends are not necessarily
going to know what you are capable of doing, so one has to walk a sort of
fine line of using there expertise as a way to learn what you can do rather
than as a factor that might limit what you believe you can do.  For example,
if you had a friend you feel you could count on for help and you had a child
in a day camp, my suggestion would be to check for ticks yourself, and if
you didn't feel confident have your friend check as well.  If your friend
found a tick that you missed, that doesn't prove that you need to have
someone else check your child, but rather, that there is more you need to
learn about finding ticks.  You could use such a circumstance as a means to
learn what it was that caused you to miss the tick.  Maybe it was somewhere
that you didn't look or it was smaller than you expected or something.  To
me, there is a big difference between having a friend gather information and
using a friend to help you learn to gether the information.  I am saying all
of this not to be critical of what you said, but because from what you have
said, you are very early in this process and some of this may not be obvious
and this is a way those of us who have been through this can be of some kind
of help.  One has to always consider that one will have to make decisions in
the absence of even good friends because they can't always be there, so one
has to develop one's abilities as much as possible, but fortunately, our
limitations tend to be smaller than we think when we're starting out.

Best regards,

Steve Jacobson

On Thu, 11 Jul 2013 12:09:53 -0700, Michelle Creedy  wrote:

>Great suggestions. I encourage you to be careful about making blanket 
>statements and assumptions about people you don't know and likely will 
>never meet. Your ideas are good ones but be careful.

>Of course I'd know bumps that were not there before and guess who found 
>the ticks on the horses first? We had quite a lot of them in Africa. We 
>all have techniques that we use and maybe some of them are not what 
>others would use but the beauty of this list is that we share the 
>techniques and if they werk they work. If someone doesn't like them 
>don't use them. It's all a matter of making choices that you can live with.
I'm simply throwing out ideas.

>Michelle

>-----Original Message-----
>From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Star 
>Gazer
>Sent: Thursday, July 11, 2013 11:53 AM
>To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
>Subject: Re: [blparent] Finding ticks on kids nonvisually?

>You will be in much closer contact with any kids you have then you will 
>with your horses.
>It's fine to use your friends, my concern with your post is that you 
>are already hading over your power. Ticks feel like bumps that 
>shouldn't be there. You as the mom will know things about your kids 
>that professional people in any capacity simply can't know. Don't let 
>other people define the relationship you have with your children.

>-----Original Message-----
>From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of 
>Michelle Creedy
>Sent: Tuesday, July 09, 2013 9:17 PM
>To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
>Subject: Re: [blparent] Finding ticks on kids nonvisually?

>I too was going to suggest a sighted person to check. I have a couple 
>of friends who are nurses and plan on using their expertees when I have 
>children. I guess for me, it's about having that conversation with the 
>person so that they understand that you simply need them to give you 
>information with their eyes that you are having trouble perceiving. I 
>always let them know that in the end, I will make the decisions on what 
>to do with that information.

>I have two miniature horses and the one's eye runs a lot. I often rely 
>on the vision shared by others to let me know when it is really 
>infected. I decide on the course of treatments but they give me that info.

>Michelle

>-----Original Message-----
>From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Gabe 
>Vega Via Iphone4S
>Sent: Tuesday, July 09, 2013 5:52 PM
>To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>Cc: Blind Parents Mailing List
>Subject: Re: [blparent] Finding ticks on kids nonvisually?

>I'm glad you are registered in finding this out. I am very happy to see 
>that you are not militant and insistent on having yourselves only do it 
>and possibly letting a set of person do it. I wish we had more like 
>you. I wish I knew the answer or what to tell you, but I don't. I never 
>had to do this before. But thank you for the breath of fresh air, in 
>the understanding that sometimes, just sometimes we might need aside a 
>person or two in our lives to help us just

>Gabe Vega
>Sent from my iPhone
>CEO
>Commtech LLC
>The leader of computer support, training and web development services
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>Phone: (888) 351-5289 Ext. 710
>Fax: (480) 535-7649

>On Jul 9, 2013, at 12:34 PM, "Melissa Ann Riccobono" 
><melissa at riccobono.us>
>wrote:

>> Hello everyone,
>> 
>> Our son, Austin, is at a nature day camp this week. He is having tons 
>> of fun, but this morning he told me that his counselors told him to 
>> have his parents check him for ticks each night when he comes home.
>> This makes sense to me, but I admit this is something I have never 
>> done before. Is there a way to check nonvisually for a tick on your
child?
>> 
>> Thanks for any thoughts.
>> 
>> Melissa
>> 
>> P.S. We certainly have sighted friends/neighbors who can help with 
>> this, but I was curious if this is something Mark and I could do
>ourselves.
>> 
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