[blparent] Pulling Strollers

[Steve Jacobson]

Melissa,

Your mother is thinking only in terms of what she can't see.  She is not taking into account that you will be just as aware of 
what is happening behind you as you are with what is happening in front of you.  You do need to be aware of people taking more 
than a casual interest in your kids whether they are behind or in front of you, but this is true of sighted parents as well.  

I pulled two kids in strollers and amazingly they have survived and are both grown up now.  A more likely problem than someone 
removing them from the stroller was that occasionally one of my kids would remove her shoes and throw them out of the stroller.  
Again, that would have been just as big a problem whether I was pushing or pulling, though.  <smile>

You know, when it comes to parenting, there are simply a lot of things to worry about.  You hear about kids being stolen, for 
example, and there probably isn't a parent who doesn't think about it happening to them.  The question really becomes whether it 
is more likely to happen to you as a blind parent.  I am not aware of anything like that happening to a blind parent, though, and 
there are reasons for that which your mother is probably not considering.  What your mother is likely doing is closing her eyes 
and thinking of all the things she can't do.  This just is not an accurate way to view the situation.  Let's just try to look at 
the big picture for a moment.  There are things we as blind parents do routinely.  We try to make sure that our kids have close 
that make some noise so we know what our kids are doing.  We are probably more careful about making sure that our kids are 
securely buckled into the stroler.  We try to learn our kids tendencies.  If we have a child who is likely to learn to unbuckle 
the safety belt, we'll take steps to make it more secure.  We learn to sense by the vibrations transmitted to the handle of a 
stroller whether are child is moving around some, is wrestless or maybe up to no good.  <smile>  Your mother isn't thinking of all 
this when she closes her eyes, but all of these things taken together means that it would be pretty difficult for someone to take 
your child.  In addition, your child is probably more protected when being pulled.  When you push a child, there is very little in 
front.  When you pull a child, you are in front and the handle is somewhat of an obstacle.  The back is higher than the front so 
it provides some protection from behind.  Most of the time strollers have an umbrella or other covering, and this makes it more 
difficult to get access to your child.  Finally, if you are pulling a child, this implies you are in motion.  To somehow remove a 
child with all of the above being considered while you are moving without you being aware of something just is not likely.  If 
there is some worry that this is a concern, there are additional steps that could be taken as a parent, and we could talk about 
some, but I feel you are dealing with a more general problem here of someone picturing parenting with their eyes closed without 
the benefit of your alternative techniques and experience.

Still, a question like this isn't all bad.  As responsible parents, we can't just assume that we have thought of everything.  
Analyzing how we approach situations is a necessary part of being a good parent.  We have to be careful, though, not to constantly 
second guess ourselves.  People tend to forget that accidents happen to kids of sighted parents, that sighted parents sometimes 
loose focus, that while there might conceiveably be cases where we will miss something that someone with vision would see, there 
are also cases where we might observe something that might not be visible.  mostly, though, we're going to observe in different 
ways those things that a sighted parent will observe visually.

Best regards,

Steve Jacobson
be 
On Fri, 19 Jul 2013 08:27:13 -0400, Melissa Treaster wrote:

>Hi,
>As some of you know I have a baby on the way. My mother this morning told me that she thinks that if I would to pull the stroller 
behind me would make my baby at risk. Meaning I guess someone could come up and take them. It's makes me feel like I am going to 
have to fear people come up to me. In some ways question can I do this? My husband however has no problem with me doing what I 
need to take are child to and from places on my own. Oh mom did ask if there any training for O&M for blind parents. Sorry had to 
vent after being upset this morning. 
>Thanks guys!
>Melissa 

>Sent from my iPhone
>_______________________________________________
>blparent mailing list
>blparent at nfbnet.org
>http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for blparent:
>http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/steve.jacobson%40visi.com