[blparent] Pulling Strollers

[Veronica Smith]

Steve, did you have a stroller with a reversable handle?

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Steve
Jacobson
Sent: Friday, July 19, 2013 9:50 AM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Pulling Strollers

Melissa,

Your mother is thinking only in terms of what she can't see.  She is not
taking into account that you will be just as aware of what is happening
behind you as you are with what is happening in front of you.  You do need
to be aware of people taking more than a casual interest in your kids
whether they are behind or in front of you, but this is true of sighted
parents as well.  

I pulled two kids in strollers and amazingly they have survived and are both
grown up now.  A more likely problem than someone removing them from the
stroller was that occasionally one of my kids would remove her shoes and
throw them out of the stroller.  
Again, that would have been just as big a problem whether I was pushing or
pulling, though.  <smile>

You know, when it comes to parenting, there are simply a lot of things to
worry about.  You hear about kids being stolen, for example, and there
probably isn't a parent who doesn't think about it happening to them.  The
question really becomes whether it is more likely to happen to you as a
blind parent.  I am not aware of anything like that happening to a blind
parent, though, and there are reasons for that which your mother is probably
not considering.  What your mother is likely doing is closing her eyes and
thinking of all the things she can't do.  This just is not an accurate way
to view the situation.  Let's just try to look at the big picture for a
moment.  There are things we as blind parents do routinely.  We try to make
sure that our kids have close that make some noise so we know what our kids
are doing.  We are probably more careful about making sure that our kids are
securely buckled into the stroler.  We try to learn our kids tendencies.  If
we have a child who is likely to learn to unbuckle the safety belt, we'll
take steps to make it more secure.  We learn to sense by the vibrations
transmitted to the handle of a stroller whether are child is moving around
some, is wrestless or maybe up to no good.  <smile>  Your mother isn't
thinking of all this when she closes her eyes, but all of these things taken
together means that it would be pretty difficult for someone to take your
child.  In addition, your child is probably more protected when being
pulled.  When you push a child, there is very little in front.  When you
pull a child, you are in front and the handle is somewhat of an obstacle.
The back is higher than the front so it provides some protection from
behind.  Most of the time strollers have an umbrella or other covering, and
this makes it more difficult to get access to your child.  Finally, if you
are pulling a child, this implies you are in motion.  To somehow remove a
child with all of the above being considered while you are moving without
you being aware of something just is not likely.  If there is some worry
that this is a concern, there are additional steps that could be taken as a
parent, and we could talk about some, but I feel you are dealing with a more
general problem here of someone picturing parenting with their eyes closed
without the benefit of your alternative techniques and experience.

Still, a question like this isn't all bad.  As responsible parents, we can't
just assume that we have thought of everything.  
Analyzing how we approach situations is a necessary part of being a good
parent.  We have to be careful, though, not to constantly second guess
ourselves.  People tend to forget that accidents happen to kids of sighted
parents, that sighted parents sometimes loose focus, that while there might
conceiveably be cases where we will miss something that someone with vision
would see, there are also cases where we might observe something that might
not be visible.  mostly, though, we're going to observe in different ways
those things that a sighted parent will observe visually.

Best regards,

Steve Jacobson
be
On Fri, 19 Jul 2013 08:27:13 -0400, Melissa Treaster wrote:

>Hi,
>As some of you know I have a baby on the way. My mother this morning 
>told me that she thinks that if I would to pull the stroller
behind me would make my baby at risk. Meaning I guess someone could come up
and take them. It's makes me feel like I am going to have to fear people
come up to me. In some ways question can I do this? My husband however has
no problem with me doing what I need to take are child to and from places on
my own. Oh mom did ask if there any training for O&M for blind parents.
Sorry had to vent after being upset this morning. 
>Thanks guys!
>Melissa

>Sent from my iPhone
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