[blparent] How do you all handle the issue ofyour kids not telling the truth?

Sun Jun 2 03:13:36 UTC 2013

Big hotel fire.

Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may 
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at 
evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
-----Original Message----- 
From: Veronica Smith
Sent: Saturday, June 01, 2013 8:59 PM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] How do you all handle the issue ofyour kids not 
telling the truth?

What happened in Houston to lose fire fighters?

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Robert 
Shelton
Sent: Saturday, June 01, 2013 12:29 PM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] How do you all handle the issue of your kids not 
telling the truth?

It depended on the transgression.  If it was did you do XXX, then the 
punishment was to do XXX.  The more experience we got with kids, the less we 
had to punish them, and yet, they all turned out to be good people.  Our 
youngest was the least punished of all because he effectively had five 
parents.  He really couldn't get too far off the track without someone 
ratting him out, so he was quick to learn that being a good family member 
worked out best for everyone.

By the by, he's a fireman now in Austin.  Don't know if you happened to 
notice, but we lost four firefighters in Houston yesterday.  My heart goes 
out to those families in a special way.

-----Original Message-----
From: Veronica Smith [mailto:madison_tewe at spinn.net]
Sent: Friday, May 31, 2013 5:52 PM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] How do you all handle the issue of your kids not 
telling the truth?

Robert and when they came clean, did you forgive the issue or did you punish 
anyway?

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Robert 
Shelton
Sent: Friday, May 31, 2013 7:51 AM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] How do you all handle the issue of your kids not 
telling the truth?

First, you need to work on your skills as a human lie detector.  It's pretty 
easy after yu get the hang of it.  There are usually tells in the voice, 
fidgets, and, of course, you can always spot check.  The thing we found that 
was most effective was when we suspected (or knew) one of our kids wasn't 
telling the truth was to say "Are you sure... would you like to 
reconsider... is that your final answer?"  Giving them that little bit of 
space to correct a mistake tends to reinforce the message that lying makes 
the situation worse without your having to overtly say it.

Kids often don't respond to direct messages, but they do pick up patterns of 
behavior, good and bad.  If you can get them to realize for themselves that 
honesty really is the best policy, you'll have taught one of life's most 
valuable lessons.  It's kind of a tough one though because the benefits of 
being honest are not immediately obvious.  It's one of those things that is 
best in the long run whereas the benefits of lying seem immediate.  From 
what I've heard you write over the years, I think your relationship with 
Sarah is such that she will get the message that you want to convey -- it 
just might take a little while to sink in.

-----Original Message-----
From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto [mailto:jopinto at msn.com]
Sent: Thursday, May 30, 2013 8:50 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: [blparent] How do you all handle the issue of your kids not telling 
the truth?

My five-year-old has fallen into a bit of a bad habit of telling lies 
lately.  None that are too serious yet, but unfortunately her big brother, 
my stepson, helped her figure out that she could sneak things past me.  I 
told them not to take a kite to the park with them that belonged to their 
dad, and he waltzed right out the door with that kite under my nose when I 
didn’t know about it.  My daughter ratted him out when they got home, and 
later she told me she was uncomfortable with what he had done but that she 
didn’t know what to do about it at the time.  I said she could tell me 
anything and that she needed to let me know if her brother was doing stuff 
that made her uncomfortable.  Since then, she’s started testing the waters, 
like today she told me she had her shoes and socks on when she went outside 
with her friends to ride bikes.  When she came back in, her dad was home, 
and he scolded her for running around outside barefoot.  So I found out she 
really hadn’t put on her shoes and socks.  I’m afraid she’s going to scrape 
her toes or step on something and cut her foot.  I said that since I couldn’t 
trust her to tell me the truth, I’d have to check her feet with my hands 
before I let her go outside anymore so I knew she would be safe.  But it got 
me to wondering how some of you other blind parents have handled the issue 
since I don’t want her thinking she can pull stuff over on me.  Thanks.

Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may 
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at 
evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

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