[blparent] my wacky life.

[Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)]

Re the move, I can offer you some advice.
My daughter simply could not deal with the fact of our last move. She'd cry, say she didn't want to move, just totally fall apart. Talking about the move, preparing her, assuring her it was a good move, did absolutely no good.
So we just stopped talking about it. We were going to move and she didn't get a vote in that decision.
The weekend of the move I took her to a music festival and let my husband handle everything. I braught her back to the new house when she was asleep. When she woke up, she said "Is this the new house?". I told her it was.  She asked when we'd moved and I said "When you were at the music festival". She said "I like it here" and that was that.
I have no idea what her issue was. Maybe she thought we were leaving her. Maybe she was worried about the process of the move. I don't know.
I'd just not discuss the move at all with your son. He doesn't get a vote so he doesn't get to be part of the discussion. This is one of those things where only time and actions will cure his stress. There is absolutely nothing you can say at this point that will make it better for him, so don't even try.
As for his friend, is she not able to see him at all, or do they just need to tone down the rough housing? If she can see him, I'd encourage as much playtime as possible. Answer whatever questions he has, even if you don't know the answer. "I don't know" is perfectly acceptable. Let him know it's normal to worry about the people we love. Given his age, this will be something he remembers.  Let him feel whatever emotions he's going to feel, his emotions aren't wrong they just may not be what you'd like.
As for a break from life, can you guys do something fun this weekend? Eat ice cream for breakfast? Take a day trip someplace? Go to a zoo for a few hours? Something that you don't do everyday and that will make everybody feel good. Nobody will give you a break, you have to do that on your own.

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Shannan Zinck
Sent: Thursday, March 07, 2013 10:03 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] my wacky life.

Ok, so even a friend of mine tried incentives for my sweet little boy to
get him to potty train. No luck,
Had my app with the eye surgeon today. they still haven't decided how much
of my eye to remove however the good news is they were very apologetic
today for making me wait so long. They did all the paper work for me today
and now I  just wait for the actual surgery date. I suspect after the
falling through the cracks thing they'll get to it pretty quick.
In the middle of all this we are looking for a new place. Poor Myles is so
confused right now and make no wonder.
On top of all this he has a friend who is quite sice and needs surgery
herself and he can't understand why she is not able to play with him much.
They are VERY close. Her mom is coming over tomorrow to discuss how to help
the kids cope with this. Also he is realizing being adopted has it's
differences to being born into a particular family He's constantly asking
about siblings and grand parents. He never sees my husbands dad and mine
past away years ago and My hubby's mom past also. He has spiritual grammys
and grampys but, now he claims everyone's gram or gramp as his own.
He knows he is adopted and that he has siblings that don't live with us.He
finds this hard.
The other night I mentioned to a friend about giving away a huge picture
because I had one smaller of the same thing. It's a cross with a robe
draped over it and a scripture at the bottom. He lost it and I mean panic,
huge tears and beat red face. super sad and distraught. Never seen that
reaction from him before. I had to promise we'd hang it in his new room
before he would settle. Surely not much more could possibly happen to rock
his world, Man do we ever need a family break from life. Wow when you write
it down it seems like so much. Well we have wethered much worse but, holy
cow I'm so tired.

--
Shannan Zinck
Survival is letting GOD take over!!!
_______________________________________________
blparent mailing list
blparent at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for blparent:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/rebecca.pickrell%40tasc.com
CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This message and any attachments or files transmitted with it (collectively, the "Message") are intended only for the addressee and may contain information that is privileged, proprietary and/or prohibited from disclosure by law or contract. If you are not the intended recipient: (a) please do not read, copy or retransmit the Message; (b) permanently delete and/or destroy all electronic and hard copies of the Message; (c) notify us by return email; and (d) you are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution or copying of the Message is strictly prohibited.