[blparent] [Bulk] Whe a total stranger crosses a line.

[Tammy]

Hi,

Oh I'm sorry your day was so horrible!  People can be really strange 
sometimes, and the littlest things can set them off, and I'm not talking 
only the kids.  We have similar issues because we live in a townhouse 
complex, so people are frequently yelling at our kids for no real reason 
then they just figure they can.  I guess they figure we're blind so we don't 
know what our kids do, but many times I've had to set a parent or two 
straight on that point.  I don't know how many times somebody's kid or even 
a parent will come and tell me Colyn did or said this or Remus took this or 
that bike or shovvel or whatever, and it turns out to be wrong.  It usually 
gets straightened out in the end but more often than not somebody in my 
family gets yelled at by some sighted person who thinks that because my eyes 
don't work my brain and ears don't either.  There's one lady who lives not 
too near me, but near enough that I can hear her tell her kids when she sees 
us outside that they need to run in the house because that family's not 
normal.  lol  We just laugh now but when we first moved in Colyn asked why 
she takes her kids in to the house when she sees us.  I thought about 
telling him something else but I eventually decided to tell him the truth, 
that some people are afraid of people and things that are different than 
they are.  Well she likes to yell out the window that my kids are on the 
road riding their bikes or whatever, and since we live in a complex, unless 
there's a car coming it's safe enough for them to do that.  but she sits and 
watches and yells at me to get my kids off the road, and last year I think 
it was, Colyn had had enough and told her she should mind her own business, 
and that he could see the cars coming, but that I could hear them long 
before that and would make sure Remus and him were safe.  She asked him how 
he knew that and he told her because that's what mamma's do, make sure kids 
are safe.  lol  I'm sure she watches us out the window but she's never 
bothered us since.

Here's hoping tomorrow's a better day and I hope that mother gets some 
insight in to her little one.

Tammy

-----Original Message----- 
From: Shannan Zinck
Sent: Sunday, May 05, 2013 9:47 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [Bulk] [blparent] Whe a total stranger crosses a line.

Well today was a horrible day Trying so hard to be understanding and
gracious.
First went to church as usual and granted no my son is certainly not
perfect but, neither is he at fault for everything that goes on. We had
this problem before and it was resolved eventually. There are 3 boys mine
and 2 older boys who are hyper active and very reactionary. 1 boy
instigates things then tattles on the other 2 constantly and the mom is so
oblivious to what her son is doing that my kid gets talked to. Hers not 5
minutes before Myles did something stupid to her kid tackled one of the
girls to the ground in a head lock. I saw this and his mom was sitting
right there not even noticing. Nothing was said, then he comes running to
me telling me Myles tapped him in the forehead. yes he even reenacted the
situation for me and it was tapped.. of course after seeing what I saw
earlier I asked him why and he said he didn't know. (sure I thought).
Anyway His mom actually came over to first tell Myles why he shouldn't hit
which means that was not what her son told her, then proceeds to tell me
that Myles and the other boy shouldn't be around each other because Myles
is not like that when he is not around the other boy. Sorry but there are 3
boys involved here not 2 and the innocent victim. Myles and  the other boy
are very easily provoked and react very strongly and the other kids play on
that fact especially when they are older. Myles is the youngest and we are
just now getting help with him, he doesn't even have his first appointment
with language and speech til the end of may. Social issues and language
comprehension problems. Not sure why yet. I was   so frustrated that I
almost took Myles and left, can't do that my hubby is an elder in the
church so need to behave. LOL Anyway I know Myles does do things and we
deal with it when we know about it but, frankly I can't see him being as
much trouble as the older kids say he is. He has never really been known to
start things even at home, he however has a terrible temper and reacts to
even the silliest things and we never know what will set him off because 1
day it will be something as simple as get dressed and he freaks because he
doesn't feel like it then the next day he gets dressed with ease all by
himself. I can't pin point what triggers him but, the others seem to know
how to push his buttons and fast. the boy that gets lumped in with him is
the same way. I'm not just concerned for my son but, the other boy as well.
Kids will be kids and I realize that my prayer is that the mother of the
instigator will see what is really happening here and deal with it. He's
older then both the other boys and treats them quite poorly.

Then to top it off we were out in the yard early this evening when our
neighbor drove in and my son knows she has a dog, he really loves dogs and
got excited and of course did something royally nuts, he ran up to the the
van while it was still parking and freaked her out, K I can understand her
being in panic mode but, she gets out of her van walks right over to my son
while I'm standing there and gets right in his face yelling at him. I
proceed to say something to him and she turns on me as if I am a horrible
parent who doesn't watch her kid and starts yelling at me. My son does not
handle conflict well at all and when she yells at him he yells right back
in a very dismissive tone "yeah right I know". He was thoroughly talked to
before she even got out of the van by me, my husband and the guy with us he
saw the whole thing.  Well we are teaching him not to go near a moving
vehicle but, he is 4 and doesn't think first. she probably didn't know we
had already said something to him but, still she didn't need to flip like
that. It's not her place to yell at my son like that. Nor is it her place
to rail on me like that, then she stomps up the stairs mumbling to herself
something about it was bad enough before whateve that's suppose to mean. I
don't even know her and yet she hates me and my family for no cause that I
can see my son made a mistake that's all. He as I expected threw a major
fit right after this and my hubby had to carry him into the house while I
put his outdoor toys away. Only because he had to eat supper, if this
situation hadn't taken place he would have come in. I was down right
speechless at her boldness while yelling at my son and when she turned on
me I did the stupidest thing ever and please  don't freak on me for this
one because I've been kicking myself ever since, I actually said  "I'm
visually impaired" I went from speechless, to shocked to witless.
What was I thinking, I also don't cope well under stress and this really
proves it. So then she yells at me again saying I should teach my son to
stay away from cars then, as if we don't We follow him around on his bike
for that very reason so we can be close enough to keep him safe. Yup this
has been a really stressful day. He is terrified of her now and I think
she's around a lot, her mom lives in our building, my son can't even play
his drums in the middle of the day if she's upstairs or she'll bang on the
floor even though he only plays for about 10 minutes at a time and not many
times a day. He's in bed by 7 so it's not like it's late. Not sure I'm
gonna like living here if it's like this all summer. Praying we can get
past her hatefulness and she'll at least become civil. He likely won't ask
to see her dog any time soon.. What a day. this is the very first time he
has been railed on by an adult and 1 he barely even knows. We are not the
confronting type of couple so this is really hard for us to handle and the
first of it's kind as well. I'm not even sure how to feel My kid has issues
I am well aware of that but, he's 4 not 40. I should have kept my big mouth
shut and prayed instead of spoke, I should have stayed in the speechless
stage. Man I am so tired and this whole thing gave me a huge stress
headache. Sorry needed to vent, like I said before please don't send nasty
posts reagading my statement, having a bad enough day as it is. and don't
need help making me feel dense. LOL here's to sleep and a new day. Funny
that our pastor preached this morning about our attitude toward others even
when you want to freak on them. Never thought I'd be tested on that one so
completely.

-- 
Shannan Zinck
Survival is letting GOD take over!!!
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