[blparent] [parent] Do you remember?

Tue Jan 7 17:53:19 UTC 2014

Hey buddy, I'm a single father here of two daughters. Three years old and 13 years old. If you ever want to talk, give me a call directly, at 480-334-2584. Thanks

Gabe Vega  - CEO
Commtech LLC
The leader of computer support, training and web development services
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Fax: (480) 535-7649

> On Jan 7, 2014, at 10:13 AM, "Kimsan" <kimsansong at aol.com> wrote:
> 
> Wow, I can write a novel on this one, but allow for me to attempt to provide a condensed version, if I can...?
> 
>            I have 3-daughters ages, six, eight, and ten.  In my early days of marriage, it was joked by the in-laws to my then wife that when our children grow up, they will work your husband, because he is blind.  Their mother then proceeded to defend our children and explain about how we will teach and expect respect etc out of our children.
>        Fast forwarding to today, as I am now divorced, raising our 3-daughters by myself, mom living on the other side of the state, I'm seeing (no pun intended) what the in-laws were talking about, and it's kind of frustrating.  However, in defense to the kids, I don't think what they are doing to me is intentional disrespect, instead they are i.e. just wanting to do things their way, or need a reminder about respect, or setting and reaffirming guidelines and setting limitations.
>        One of the comments made back then was "one of your daughters will just walk right past you with a pipe in her hand, or something and you will not even notice hahaha."  Of course, I didn't find that funny, but I placed it in the back of my mind.  It also got me to thinking, do kids do this because we are blind or simply because it's normal for a child to do.  My x-wife even states to her family that the kids are not taking advantage of him because he is blind, they even did stuff like that when I was there, and she could see.
>        It's frustrating for me as a blind parent, let me give an example.  Let's say you have this rule that when you are in the living room, nobody is allowed to hav any candy or what have you while on the couch.  I honestly have that rule because my kids like to eat candy and )what kid doesn't lol) and they are always putting their gum on walls, couches, blab la.  So, one time, I smelled something, and I asked who has candy and they said nobody does, it's probably your colone.  I, being blind had to do what I had to do and asked each child to place their hands on mind so I can "see" but of course, they were smart and put it in their pockets or hid it in the couch before they showed me their hands.  There are several other examples, but like I said, this is a condensed version.
> 
>        The person below stated they could hear noise when the child came down stairs and unfortunately, that is something I do not have anymore, as I have severe hearing loss, so when I am doing work on the computer, I am unable to hear anything out of my right ear.  I mean someone could kick down my door and I would not even notice, except for the change in temp lol.  I don't have any animals inside my home to help indicate anything, so right now, I just squeeze my hands and just hope it will pass.  My kids say this when the issues come up.  "I do not want to get in trouble.  I did it because I wanted to.  I don't know." And that is all that come to mind at this moment.
>        On another note, this list is interesting and I've sat back and waited for other topics to come up to see what I can mention as I do not want to write about something to get me kicked off lol, but I'm willing to give my cell phone number out to any who would like to talk if emailing is something one does not want to participate in all the time.
>  I found this list via google and I thought after my divorce back in October of 2013 that since I'm blind, it would be kind of neat and possibly helpful to get in touch with other successful blind parents.  I'm doing this all on my own now, after 9 years, so moral support would be  kind of helpful, not just for me, but for anyone, blind or not.
> Take care.
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
> Sent: Tuesday, January 7, 2014 12:35 AM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: [blparent] Do you remember?
> 
> Do you all remember the first time one of your kids deliberately tried to sneak around and get away with something because you couldn’t see?  I guess it has happened before, but tonight was the first time it was really blatant, and it was shocking.  I guess it hit home in a big way, and I’m up in the middle of the night trying to settle down.  I’ll be okay, but I’m kind of shaken up.  Maybe I’m lucky it didn’t happen before now; my little angel is almost six.  We’ll all survive, the world won’t end, but wow.
> 
> I was working at my computer and didn’t hear her come downstairs.  She has to go back to school tomorrow after a long Christmas break.  She’s a little nervous, and I think she was finding it hard to sleep.  I couldn’t fault her for that.  The break has been too long, I believe, and she’s in all-day kindergarten.  She’s had some jitters about going bback and missing me.  I hope she’ll fall right into the routine and do fine.  So she crept down to get a toy while I was alone in the house, probably to help her sleep.  I actually would have let her get it if she’d just asked.  I thought I heard her come down, and my dog got restless and started pacing and wagging, so I was pretty sure she was in the room, but I wasn’t absolutely certain.  I could sense someone moving, but I called her name and she wouldn’t answer.  I got up and searched, and I could sense her moving, but I couldn’t quite hear if she was there or not.  She’ can be really quiet if she wants to be.  The dog was wagging and going crazy, so I was pretty sure the kid was there, but not quite sure enough to be comfortable, and she wouldn’t answer, so it was really starting to freak me out.  I said, “This game isn’t funny.  I’m not laughing.  I need to know if you’re there, I’m serious.”  No answer.  It was dumb, but I got overwhelmed and didn’t know what to do, and I started to cry because I was wrought up.  Stupid I know, but then she started to cry as welland came and hugged and kissed me.  I think it scared her, but it had scared me, too.  So we talked about how I didn’t know where she was, and how I felt, and how bad it felt to be teased, and she apologized.  She went back to bed.  I don’t think she’ll do it again because she didn’t like it that I was upset.  So I don’t think I’ll do anything else about it.  I wasn’t trying to manipulate her; she just saw how it made me feel.  Anyway, I was wondering if it was a common experience to anyone else.
> 
> Jo Elizabeth
> 
> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
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