[blparent] [parent] Do you remember?

[Jo Elizabeth Pinto]

Well, I think you bring up a couple of interesting points.  One is that kids 
will be kids, and if you teach basic respect, they will still try to get a 
few things by you because it's in the nature of all peple to do so.  But 
they will for the most part respect you and want to please you, and you will 
overall have a good relationship.  So although they may eat candy on the 
couch now and then, they won't waltz out your front door with pipes in their 
hands, and nobody will get hurt.  There are a few kids who are sad 
exceptions to the rule, of course, but not many.  My daughter scared me a 
little and hurt my feelings last night, but when she saw my real fear and 
how her actions affected me, all bets were off.  We worked it out, and 
nobody went to bed upset.

The second point is what your ex whife said about the children doing things 
when she was there, and could see.  My boyfriend used to say that all the 
time, and he was right.  I can't tell you how often I had to warned him, 
especially when our daughter was younger, at the age when she was getting 
into everything.  I don't think he was negligent, I just tended to listen 
more closely or pay more attention, I suppose, but I'd always be telling 
him, hey.  She's getting into your tool drawer again, or whatever.  He'd 
look down, and there she was.

Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may 
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at 
evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
-----Original Message----- 
From: Kimsan
Sent: Tuesday, January 07, 2014 10:13 AM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] [parent] Do you remember?

Wow, I can write a novel on this one, but allow for me to attempt to provide 
a condensed version, if I can...?

I have 3-daughters ages, six, eight, and ten.  In my early days of marriage, 
it was joked by the in-laws to my then wife that when our children grow up, 
they will work your husband, because he is blind.  Their mother then 
proceeded to defend our children and explain about how we will teach and 
expect respect etc out of our children.
Fast forwarding to today, as I am now divorced, raising our 3-daughters by 
myself, mom living on the other side of the state, I'm seeing (no pun 
intended) what the in-laws were talking about, and it's kind of frustrating. 
However, in defense to the kids, I don't think what they are doing to me is 
intentional disrespect, instead they are i.e. just wanting to do things 
their way, or need a reminder about respect, or setting and reaffirming 
guidelines and setting limitations.
One of the comments made back then was "one of your daughters will just walk 
right past you with a pipe in her hand, or something and you will not even 
notice hahaha."  Of course, I didn't find that funny, but I placed it in the 
back of my mind.  It also got me to thinking, do kids do this because we are 
blind or simply because it's normal for a child to do.  My x-wife even 
states to her family that the kids are not taking advantage of him because 
he is blind, they even did stuff like that when I was there, and she could 
see.