[blparent] new to the list

Thu Jan 9 21:40:12 UTC 2014

J.E. is right, make sure hospital policy is giving you a yes answer on
taking the baby home with you. Hospitals are everywhere, and are a business,
so if you don't like what you're told, go someplace else. 
Be a mama bear on this one and protect your family. 

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jo
Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Thursday, January 9, 2014 2:33 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] new to the list

Wow.  First of all, it's unfortunate that you happened to drop in right when
I posted the e-mail about what I went through with my family.  Things like
that do happen, but they're rather more the exception than the norm these
days.  There were some personal issues going on with them.  My brother is
gay, and he wanted a baby very much.  I think he saw a golden opportunity. 
He has since adopted a son of his own through the foster care system.  My
dad is Catholic, and his disapproval of the less than stellar choices I made
came into play, which is sad because my daughter is the one missing out on
having her grandparents.  Well, I suppose we're all missing out, but she and
they are the ones who will never get this time back.  I'm not saying I was a
saint; I got human for a moment.  I wasn't the first; I sure won't be the
last.  But anyway, many, many blind couples have babies nowadays and take
them home with no problem at all.

Some of the ways you can make sure your experience is positive are these:

Look into the Hadley correspondence courses on parenting.  Sharon Howerton
is on this list.  She teaches the courses, which are sent right to your
home.  There are three, one that covers pregnancy and birth, one that covers
the first year, and one that covers toddlerhood, I think.  You are awarded
certificates when you finish, which show that you have taken the courses in
parenting for the blind.  These will help your case if you ever need to
prove anything.

Sign up for a visiting nurse program.  I chose Nurse Family Partnership, but
there are others.  Check with your county health department.  I had a nurse
visit me every six weeks or so during pregnancy, then every month for the
baby's first two years of life.  Sometimes it felt invasive, but it was also
reassuring to have a professional who could check the baby's weight and
development and keep a record, just in case, to prove everything was as it
should be, and also someone I could ask questions of.  We got to be friends
after a while, and we still chat now and then.

Take the birthing classes, the baby care classes, and anything else offered
like CPR and first aid, at the hospital before you give birth.  This will
show the staff on the delivery unit that you care and are involved, but it
will also make you a familiar face there and start giving the nurses a
chance to get comfortable with you and see you as a competent person who can
move around with confidence.  Answer any of their questions warmly, not in a
hostile way.  Attitude is everything.  I can't speak strongly of that
enough.  If you get defensive, they will too.  If they ask if you'll have
help at home, nod and smile, and move on.  They ask everybody that, not just
blind moms.  Don't take the attitude that they're asking just because you're
blind, because whether you know it or not right now, every single mom who
has ever had a baby needs help after she gives birth, whether her eyes work
or not.  So just say yes, you'll have help, and don't let it get to you. 
Don't decide you're Superwoman and you don't need no damn help from nobody,
because then the red flag will go up, and they'll start looking into your
case, blind or not.

While you're there, let the head nurse know that you'll be delivering there,
that you're blind, and make sure hospital policy doesn't have an issue with
sending you home.  Some people disagree with this, but I feel strongly that
you want to go in knowing you're okay, and if you don't get a definite yes,
find another hospital.  Others think it's better not to stir up a hornets' 
nest and just fly under the radar, so you have to make your own choice.  I
got a definite yes because I already had people making trouble for me. 
Maybe if I didn't already have issues, it wouldn't have been such a big
deal.

If I think of anything else, I'll speak up.  But the biggest thing is, relax
and enjoy your pregnancy.  Your chances of having issues are pretty small if
your family is supportive to begin with.  You'll probably sail through with
no trouble at all, so don't borrow any!  Congratulations!

Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at
evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
-----Original Message-----
From: Tara Briggs
Sent: Thursday, January 09, 2014 12:04 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] new to the list

Thanks! I have a couple of questions. How didyou make sure the staff at the
hospital had a positive attitude about you having a baby? I guess sadly
getting a baby taken away is a concern of lots of disabled parents.
Tara

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jo
Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Thursday, January 09, 2014 11:53 AM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] new to the list

Congratulations on your coming baby!

Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at
evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
-----Original Message-----
From: Tara Briggs
Sent: Thursday, January 09, 2014 8:51 AM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] new to the list

HI all, I have been on this list for a few days now and figure it is time to
introduce myself. I am Tara Briggs and I live in Utah with my husband.
I teach Braille at the center for the blind. I use a Seeing Eye dog named
Emmy and I think they don't make them any better than my beautiful black
lab. My husband works at Brigham Young University in there accessibility
center. He helps students get access to their books in an accessible format
and oversees their assistive technology lab. Tyler is also finishing a
master's degree in  Vocational rehabilitation. He graduates this May and we
are both over the moon about it!

I am 12 weeks pregnant with our first baby! I am sure I will have loads of
questions but I just thought I would by start off by saying hello.

Thanks

Tara
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