[blparent] Lockdown Drill at School

Jo Elizabeth Pinto jopinto at msn.com
Mon Jan 13 18:49:40 UTC 2014


Which is why I still read your messages ... yay for me.




Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may 
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at 
evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
-----Original Message----- 
From: Gabe Vega - CEO Commtech LLC
Sent: Monday, January 13, 2014 11:45 AM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Cc: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Lockdown Drill at School

see, even when you are the biggest controversial person on the list, you 
could still make good points. Yay for me! :-)

Gabe Vega  - CEO
Commtech LLC
The leader of computer support, training and web development services
Web: http://commtechusa.net
Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
Facebook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
Email: info at commtechusa.net
Phone: (888) 351-5289 Ext. 710
Fax: (480) 535-7649

> On Jan 13, 2014, at 11:31 AM, Jo Elizabeth Pinto <jopinto at msn.com> wrote:
>
> You have a point.  Most likely, the attitude came from her older brother, 
> who has had to deal with a long string of therapists, school counselors, 
> evaluators, police officers, CPS workers, and other authority figures over 
> the years.  Some of them he liked, some of them he didn't.  Some of them 
> were more pleasant than others, sometimes his attitude was more pleasant 
> than others.  My daughter, unfortunately, saw her brother arrested and 
> taken away by the police after an act of vandalism when she was almost 
> four. There was nothing I could do to prevent that.  Believe me, I tried. 
> I've spent the last two years actively working to deprogram the belief 
> that police officers are bad.  As in, stopping them on the street when I 
> encounter them and having my daughter walk up to them so they can 
> introduce themselves and talk to her.  I want her to find out they are 
> nice, friendly people.  She's gotten to sit in a cruiser, she's found out 
> that the officers have children at home, they've smiled at her and given 
> her candy.  It's slowly working.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may 
> kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at 
> evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
> -----Original Message----- From: Gabe Vega - CEO Commtech LLC
> Sent: Monday, January 13, 2014 11:11 AM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Cc: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Lockdown Drill at School
>
> it's kind of weird that your daughter would think that a school counselor, 
> or anybody in authority for that matter, would be mean to her. Is that 
> something may be that you output when you deal with authorities? Do you 
> maybe side and frustration or explain to your boyfriend in front of her 
> that some or certain authorities can be mean? Children listen to 
> everything we do, and they watch us even though we don't know they are 
> watching. And sometimes things that we don't want them to know or care for 
> them to know they will still no simply because they're always listening 
> and watching us.
>
> Gabe Vega  - CEO
> Commtech LLC
> The leader of computer support, training and web development services
> Web: http://commtechusa.net
> Twitter: http://twitter.com/commtechllc
> Facebook: http://facebook.com/commtechllc
> Email: info at commtechusa.net
> Phone: (888) 351-5289 Ext. 710
> Fax: (480) 535-7649
>
>> On Jan 13, 2014, at 11:06 AM, Jo Elizabeth Pinto <jopinto at msn.com> wrote:
>>
>> So far, my daughter says she doesn't want to talk to the school 
>> counselor. But I'm not sure she knows what all that entails.  I asked her 
>> why she's not interested, and she said the counselor might be mean.  I 
>> assured her the counselor would be a very nice person who would help her 
>> sort out her feelings, if it turns out to be necessary.
>>
>> We had a bit of hesitation going to school this morning, a bit of "I'd 
>> rather stay with you" stuff, and I let her wear a necklace of mine but 
>> not take anything else.  No calls from the health aide yet; it's eleven 
>> o'clock. Fingers crossed.
>>
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you 
>> may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full 
>> at evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
>> -----Original Message----- From: Star Gazer
>> Sent: Monday, January 13, 2014 9:38 AM
>> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Lockdown Drill at School
>>
>> First, the school health aid is someone who can't get a job in a real 
>> health care profession. I'd not let her comments bother you.
>> Does Sarah want to talk to the school councelor? What does her teacher 
>> say?
>> You could also let the principal know the health aid's comments were 
>> inappropriate, lots of kids worry about their parents especially if that 
>> parent is home all day.
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jo 
>> Elizabeth Pinto
>> Sent: Saturday, January 11, 2014 4:43 PM
>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: [blparent] Lockdown Drill at School
>>
>> Okay, bear with me, because this does have to do with blind parenting, 
>> and we’ll come to that, but it doesn’t start out that way.  Sometimes 
>> things get really compicated, and my questions are one, is there anything 
>> I’m missing that I can do to reassure my daughter that I haven’t thought 
>> of? And two, am I right to keep the school counselor out of this, or am I 
>> paranoid?  I admit I am, a little.  My feeling is, once the psychologist 
>> gets involved, an issue is made where there wasn’t one, and it’s really 
>> hard to get rid of the professionals once they’re sniffing around.  And 
>> once someone hints that blindness might be part of the problem, which I 
>> don’t think it is at all, then you’ve got red flags where they don’t need 
>> to be.
>>
>> My daughter was already a bit hesitant about going back to school after 
>> Christmas Break.  Vacation was long, and she was starting in with the “I’ll 
>> miss you too much” stuff.  I don’t know why; she likes school and has 
>> friends, so I figured she’d pop back into the routine and do fine.  I let 
>> her wear an inexpensive necklace of mine so she’d have a tangible 
>> connection to me all day and sent her off Tuesday morning with lots of 
>> hugs.  Well then—and I think this was poor timing on the part of the 
>> school, but that’s just my opinion, for what it’s worth—the school held a 
>> lockdown drill Tuesday morning.  I didn’t know it at the time.  I think 
>> parents should be given a heads-up by automatic phone dialer or e-mail if 
>> there’s been a lockdown drill in case their kids have issues, but 
>> whatever.  The only thing that happened Tuesday night was that my 
>> daughter mentioned yet again that she thought she should be home 
>> schooled.  She’d been seeing commercials for K-12 Online, a home school 
>> academy you can do on the computer.  I dismissed the idea casually, 
>> saying it wouldn’t be a good fit for our family and that she needed to 
>> learn at school with her friends, and she went to bed without incident.
>>
>> Wednesday morning, out of nowhere, she had the queen mother of all 
>> tantrums, refusing to go to school at all.  Kicking, screaming, ripping 
>> her clothes off, insisting she was sick.  Her dad tried holding her down 
>> and putting her shoes on by sheer force.  I stopped that because I was 
>> afraid either he would break her ankle or she would kick him in the face 
>> and smash his glasses.  So I made him leave her in her room and shut the 
>> door till she calmed down.  I told her if she was too sick to go to 
>> school, she could go back to bed.  That was what sick people did, sleep. 
>> No friends, no toys, no TV, no electronics, nothing.  She didn’t like 
>> that idea, so she got dressed and went to school.  We took TV away that 
>> night because of the tantrum and because she was late for school that 
>> day.  I felt bad later because I didn’t know the motives behind any of 
>> it, but she hadn’t opened up to me.
>>
>> Well, about eleven o’clock, her teacher called me, not very happy.  She 
>> told me my daughter had been to the health aide—there are no RN’s in 
>> schools now, they’re health aides—three times with a headache and a 
>> tummyache.  No temperature.  Neither the teacher nor the health aide 
>> believed my daughter was sick.  The teacher said she was over it; she had 
>> 25 other kids to deal with, it was my turn.  So I got my daughter on the 
>> phone and said she could either listen to her teacher and do her 
>> schoolwork or come home and go to bed.  I wouldn’t get into the “I’m 
>> really sick, Mom” discussion with her.  I told her no more trips to the 
>> health aide.  Either stay at school and do her work or Dad would bring 
>> her home and she could go to bed.
>>
>> Thursday, two more trips to the health aide.  That night, my daughter and 
>> I started talking about what was going on.  And she told me the school 
>> had done a lockdown drill on Tuesday.  In her words, the office lady had 
>> come on the loudspeaker and said they were going to pretend a man with a 
>> gun had run out of the bank and was coming toward the school.  So 
>> everybody was going to crawl under desks and tables till the teachers 
>> said it was okay to come out. (I found out later that nobody came on the 
>> intercom and said anything about a gun.  That was either filled in by my 
>> daughter’s imagination or by what the other kids were saying.  Kids aren’t 
>> stupid. The office person said it was a lockdown drill, the teacher said 
>> a drill might happen if there were trouble at the bank or in the 
>> neighborhood, kids aren’t stupid.  They know what that means.  Nobody 
>> crawled under desks, which aren’t bulletproof; they stood along a 
>> cinderblock wall lined with cupboards with no windows, which might be 
>> somewhat better I guess.)
>>
>> Anyway, my daughter—bless her heart—wasn’t freaked out for herself.  She 
>> thinks she’s one of the Power Puff Girls or Raven from Teen Titans, so 
>> she figures she’ll kick butt and take names wherever she is.  She started 
>> thinking about me, here alone.  She started worrying about how old and 
>> feeble my guide dog Ballad is getting and what I would do if the man with 
>> the gun ran to the house.  So by Tuesday night after the lockdown drill, 
>> she didn’t tell me why, but she thought she should be home schooled so 
>> she could stay with me and be her superhero self.  And by Wednesday 
>> morning, she decided she wasn’t going to school.  When we made her go, 
>> she tried to get herself sent home sick.
>>
>> So I reassured her as best I could.  I showed her how the dead bolt 
>> worked and how far it went into the wall, how the door won’t budge an 
>> inch when it’s locked.  I made her a pinky promise deal that I’ll lock 
>> the door every day, and that when she leaves with her dad in the morning, 
>> she can check it herself.  I sent her outside to ring the doorbell so she 
>> can hear how loud the dog’s bark is from out there.  I reminded her how 
>> fast the firemen got here once when we had to call 911 because the 
>> neighbor’s smoke alarm was going off and he wasn’t home.  I said if a man 
>> with a gun was running around and I called 911 and told the police, they’d 
>> be here that fast.  Is there anything I’m missing as far as reassurances 
>> go?
>>
>> So anyway, here’s where the blind parenting part comes in, if you’ve 
>> stuck with me this long, and thanks for still reading.  I called my 
>> daughter’s teacher to explain all of this because I wanted to let her 
>> know what effects the lockdown drill had—and to find out exactly how it 
>> had happened because I didn’t quite believe the kid version of the story. 
>> I also wanted to explain why my daughter had been pretending to be sick 
>> so much. The teacher is great.  She understood.  But the health aide 
>> suggested maybe I should have my daughter talk to the school counselor 
>> because she said she thought my daughter felt overly responsible for me, 
>> and that’s not healthy.  She said a daughter shouldn’t feel she has to 
>> take care of her mother; a mother should be taking care of her child.  I 
>> told her I do take care of my child.  I said I don’t think we’re talking 
>> about an unhealthy relationship here.  We’re talking about a little 
>> superhero who thinks she’s going to save the day. There’s a big 
>> difference. I don’t believe the health aide would have come to the same 
>> conclusion if I’d been a sighted mom.  So far I believe I’ve held her 
>> off, and I’m hoping the problem resolves itself before her worries go any 
>> further.  If my daughter gets sent there with false symptoms again, I 
>> asked the health aide to reassure her that I’m safe and that she checked 
>> the lock with her dad in the morning, instead of focusing on the fact 
>> that she isn’t sick, which isn’t the real issue.
>>
>> I hate these lockdown drills.  I suppose we’re stuck with them in the 
>> world we live in, and hopefully most kids aren’t having the reaction my 
>> daughter is.  But we’re stealing the innocence from a whole generation of 
>> kids, and truthfully, I’m not sure the drills would have prevented any of 
>> the tragedies at Columbine.  I don’t know, it’s said they did help at New 
>> Town, where kids knew what to do and moved quickly into position; I just 
>> hate that kids have to be burdened with this crap!
>>
>> Thanks for sticking with me; it’s been a hell of a week!
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you 
>> may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full 
>> at evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
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