[blparent] Bradley method questions

Wed Mar 12 21:43:22 UTC 2014

I can't speak specifically about the Bradley method, since I didn't use it. 
But it's important to find a hospital where you are comfortable with the 
staff, no matter what your birth plans are and how they turn out.  I would 
recommend calling ahead and setting up a private tour of the labor and 
delivery ward, which most places are glad to provide.  If a hospital or 
birth center won't agree to a private tour, that's your first clue pointing 
to nonflexibility--find another that will.  That way you can get the basic 
lay of the land while you're relaxed and not dealing with contractions, and 
you can meet the staff and get them over the "gosh, there's a blind mom 
coming in" jitters before you're actually in labor and needing them to be 
medically competent.

There are two basic approaches.  I took the blunt approach, only because I 
already had a rumbling volcano to deal with, thanks to members of my family 
raising issues about my possible incompetence as a parent on account of my 
blindness and threatening to involve Social Services from birth.  I went 
right to the head honcho in charge of the labor and delivery unit and asked 
if there would be any problems on the part of the hospital or any staff 
members with a blind mom having a baby there, because I wanted to know ahead 
of time.  I asked her to check with the legal department of the hospital as 
well.  I was positive, cheerful, confident, and willing to answer any 
questions the staff had without being aggressive or looking for an argument. 
I attended almost all of the classes offered by the hospital, as much to get 
the nurses and other staff used to seeing me and watching me move around and 
speak with self-assurance as to learn baby first aid and basic care, 
although I did need that information as well.  The hospital checked its 
policies and gave me the green light before I ever went into labor that 
there would be no issues, so I had one less worry on my mind when the big 
day came.

If you have no issues that would make you need to take the blunt approach, 
the less in-your-face way to go is just to tour the labor and delivery ward, 
introduce yourself, take the birthing classes you want, and treat your 
disability as a matter of course.  Don't really mention it till someone else 
brings it up, and then just treat it as the characteristic of your 
personhood that it is--nothing more, nothing less.  Answer questions about 
it in a positive, matter-of-fact way, without hostility or nervousness.  The 
staff will take cues from you as to how your blindness should be reacted to.

The biggest thing to remember is that every single new mom on the face of 
the earth, blind or sighted, will need help at home.  So when someone asks 
you if you'll have help when you leave the hospital, just say yes.  Every 
new mother gets asked that.  It isn't about your disability.  Hopefully 
you've got friends or family who will drop in and bring you meals, maybe do 
your shopping or give you a hand with laundry, or just call and remind you 
there's a world out there when you forget that in those blurry weeks of 
having a newborn.  I think some new blind moms get all uptight about the "do 
you have help" question and end up putting the hospital on the defensive 
with their "I don't need no stinkin' help" attitude, when it isn't about 
blindness at all, or when it's their first baby and they really have no idea 
that yeah, they're gonna need help, not because they're blind but because 
they're human.

So anyway, sorry, this isn't addressing your question about Bradley stuff. 
I hope you get answers; it sounds like Brandy can guide you to an expert on 
that.  But maybe these basics will get you started.  Enjoy your pregnancy. 
That baby will never again be so uniquely yours as she is right now.  Once 
the doctor snips that cord, it's all about letting go.

Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may 
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at 
evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
-----Original Message----- 
From: Brandy W., with Discovery Toys
Sent: Wednesday, March 12, 2014 2:33 PM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] Bradley method questions

Email me off list. One of my very best friends who is blind taught the
classes for several years, and is always happy to help. She also used the
method for all 3 of her births.

ballstobooks at gmail.com

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Tara Briggs
Sent: Wednesday, March 12, 2014 12:13 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] Bradley method questions

Hi all, has anyone used the Bradley method for childbirth? Did you take the
classes? What was it like taking the classes and using the method? Did you
need to do any adapting with the classes? How was the teacher and students
about your blindness?

Thanks

Tara
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