[blparent] [parent] Do you remember?

Thu Mar 27 03:29:12 UTC 2014

-----Original Message----- 
From: Kimsan
Sent: Tuesday, January 7, 2014 11:59 AM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] [parent] Do you remember?

Kids will be kids, but I took it upon myself to just be a little bit more
consistent, so they will eventually get the point.  Work in progress...  Not
sure where all of this came from, maybe the divorce as it is so recent,
friends from school, who knows.  All I know is I've noticed that lately
since I've been a little more consistent with the reminders and I've seen
lots of improvements.  I had to do a lot of reprograming since the divorce
to get all of us back up to speed.

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jo
Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Tuesday, January 7, 2014 10:54 AM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] [parent] Do you remember?

Well, I think you bring up a couple of interesting points.  One is that kids
will be kids, and if you teach basic respect, they will still try to get a
few things by you because it's in the nature of all peple to do so.  But
they will for the most part respect you and want to please you, and you will
overall have a good relationship.  So although they may eat candy on the
couch now and then, they won't waltz out your front door with pipes in their
hands, and nobody will get hurt.  There are a few kids who are sad
exceptions to the rule, of course, but not many.  My daughter scared me a
little and hurt my feelings last night, but when she saw my real fear and
how her actions affected me, all bets were off.  We worked it out, and
nobody went to bed upset.

The second point is what your ex whife said about the children doing things
when she was there, and could see.  My boyfriend used to say that all the
time, and he was right.  I can't tell you how often I had to warned him,
especially when our daughter was younger, at the age when she was getting
into everything.  I don't think he was negligent, I just tended to listen
more closely or pay more attention, I suppose, but I'd always be telling
him, hey.  She's getting into your tool drawer again, or whatever.  He'd
look down, and there she was.

Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at
evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
-----Original Message-----
From: Kimsan
Sent: Tuesday, January 07, 2014 10:13 AM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] [parent] Do you remember?

Wow, I can write a novel on this one, but allow for me to attempt to provide
a condensed version, if I can...?

I have 3-daughters ages, six, eight, and ten.  In my early days of marriage,
it was joked by the in-laws to my then wife that when our children grow up,
they will work your husband, because he is blind.  Their mother then
proceeded to defend our children and explain about how we will teach and
expect respect etc out of our children.
Fast forwarding to today, as I am now divorced, raising our 3-daughters by
myself, mom living on the other side of the state, I'm seeing (no pun
intended) what the in-laws were talking about, and it's kind of frustrating.

However, in defense to the kids, I don't think what they are doing to me is
intentional disrespect, instead they are i.e. just wanting to do things
their way, or need a reminder about respect, or setting and reaffirming
guidelines and setting limitations.
One of the comments made back then was "one of your daughters will just walk
right past you with a pipe in her hand, or something and you will not even
notice hahaha."  Of course, I didn't find that funny, but I placed it in the
back of my mind.  It also got me to thinking, do kids do this because we are
blind or simply because it's normal for a child to do.  My x-wife even
states to her family that the kids are not taking advantage of him because
he is blind, they even did stuff like that when I was there, and she could
see.

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