[blparent] How do you start to explain people'sunfoundedfears to your children?

Judy Jones jtj1 at cableone.net
Sun Mar 15 18:34:02 UTC 2015 

What a wonderful post, and very similar to my experience.

When a new family with kids our girls' ages moved into the neighborhood, I 
made it my business to introduce myself, and I never did have any problems.

I will say, though, that if any parents had any reservations they kept quiet 
about them.

One thing we used to do is I would make arrangements with our dial-a-ride in 
the area to take a group of kids to Odysey One, an indoor play park in the 
area.  One of the buses could hold 9 passengers, that meant 6 extra kids. 
And we had a ball!

I found out later that those trips really positively influenced one of the 
drivers.

Judy

-----Original Message----- 
From: Wendy Meuse via blparent
Sent: Sunday, March 15, 2015 12:04 PM
To: Sharon Howerton ; Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] How do you start to explain people'sunfoundedfears 
to your children?

I sure do agree with this.  I know it has been a long time for me, but I 
faced this issue also.  There was a little boy who appeared
at my door and asked if he could come play with my little girl.  He 
explained that he had seen me playing with her in our yard and
he wanted a playmate.  He lived a few doors down from us and we had just 
moved to our trailer about two weeks before so we were new.
I told him, why don't you go and ask your mom if she would like to come over 
and have a coffee with me while you and Grace play.
Peggy, Robert's mother took me up on it and we became very close.  While we 
were having coffee she asked me if she could ask some
questions.  I told her absolutely.  She asked if it would bother me to ask 
me about being blind and I told her no.  I asked her, how
can you find anything out unless you ask.  She asked me about how I did 
things day to day such as cooking and cleaning.  She also
wanted to know how I could tell what Grace was doing so that she could be 
safe.  I told her a lot about me just keeping my ears open
and you can tell a lot about what is going on just by listening.  As it 
happened, I heard the kids playing in the bathroom and
splashing water all over.  Peggy was there when I exclaimed, What are you 
kids doing in there?  Grace you know that the bathroom
isn't for playing in.  Clean up any water you have splashed and get out of 
there unless you go in to use the washroom.  They came
out and Robert asked, how did you know?  You can't see.  Peggy then found 
out just how I could no what was going on without seeing
ehehehehehehe!  As we got to know each other she saw different things happen 
to let her knowthat I knew what was going on at all
times.  At first we went to the park or shopping or whatever together but 
she finally relaxed and let me take Robert with her when I
took Grace on outings.  She was a bit nervous at first but she relaxed and 
finally told me that she thought that Robert was safer
with me then with some sighted people she could think of.  That felt like a 
real victory to me and Peggy spread the word.  Before I
knew it, I was babysitting four children after school.  That was lots of 
fun.  I had Shannon who was eight, Amy was six, Robert was
four and Grace was three.  Gee!  I am sorry guys.  I didn't mean to write a 
novel.  Jo Elizabeth, I know how you feel.  It will just
take some patients.  We are the ones who always have to make the first 
steps.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Sharon Howerton via blparent" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
To: "'Star Gazer'" <pickrellrebecca at gmail.com>; "'Blind Parents Mailing 
List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Cc: <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Sunday, March 15, 2015 8:46 AM
Subject: Re: [blparent] How do you start to explain people's unfoundedfears 
to your children?


Jo Elizabeth, this is certainly an interesting thread and I appreciate the 
input. I re-read your post about the mom's job. Just
because a person works in the special ed field doesn't mean they know 
anything about the day to day or, as I think it was Judy said,
she may be used to kids with more special needs and would not see any of 
them as parents. You might start by inviting this child or
other of Sarah's friends to your house to play with her, get to know the 
parents as they drop them off and/or pick them up and then
expand your play environment with them once you know them, they know you and 
the parents do as well.

Trust me, as our kids grow, it doesn't get any easier. There are still 
issues. They change all the time even when our children are
grown and adults.
Sharon

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Star Gazer 
via blparent
Sent: Sunday, March 15, 2015 9:12 AM
To: 'Judy Jones'; 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] How do you start to explain people's unfounded fears 
toyour children?

That was my take too. He may not be as manageable as you'd think.
Does the dad know you? If not and your kids are friends, I'd start there.
Also, it's not as odd as you think given the mom's job. Very likely, she's 
never encountered an adult with whatever disability she
works with, so all she sees, all she's capable of seeing are children who 
need more then the average bear.

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Judy Jones 
via blparent
Sent: Saturday, March 14, 2015 10:27 PM
To: Jo Elizabeth Pinto; Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] How do you start to explain people's unfounded fears 
toyour children?

Hi again from Judy.

Another aspect I thought about.  Is this little boy manageable in a public 
situation.  For instance, if you and your girl are at the
park, will he be as obedient as she is, or is he one of those kids who is 
harder to manage because of lack of discipline?

Judy


-----Original Message-----
From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto via blparent
Sent: Saturday, March 14, 2015 6:14 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: [blparent] How do you start to explain people's unfounded fears 
toyour children?

My sighted daughter just turned seven years old a few weeks ago.  Hard to 
believe.  Anyway, webre having one of the first really
beautiful sunny spring days, so she asked me to take her to a nearby park. 
She invited a neighbor boy her age to come.  His parents
said no, there had to be an adult along.  She told his parents her mom would 
be taking them.  The dad said no, he meant an adult who
could see.  She came home really confused, of course.
She said we go to the park all the time, which we do.  So I tried to explain 
that some parents donbt feel that their kids will be
safe supervised by a blind adult.  Her next natural question was why.  I 
told her some parents worry that their kids will get hurt
if no one is watching them.  Her answer was that webve been to the park 
millions of times and she hasnbt gotten hurt.  Also true.
Shebs a smart girl.  I told her some parents havenbt ben around blind 
people much.  The odd thing is, the neighbor boybs mom is
one of the higher-ups in the special ed department with the local school 
district.  So Ibm just wondering, is there anything in
particular you have said to your kids that has helped make sense of 
nonsense?

Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may 
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be
round and full at evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
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