[blparent] My Daughter

Mon May 11 18:39:42 UTC 2015

Thanks. I think I really need to get down there, and see what is going on? 
The last thing I want is DECFS sticking their nose into this. I DON'T WANT 
BREANN TO GET INTO THE SYSTEM.

Again, Thanks for all of your help.

Rob Kaiser
email;
rcubfank at sbcglobal.net
-----Original Message----- 
From: Steve Jacobson via blparent
Sent: Monday, May 11, 2015 11:24 AM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Cc: Steve Jacobson
Subject: Re: [blparent] My Daughter

Rob,

>From your writing, I can tell that this is a serious issue that raises a lot 
of concerns for you.  Most of the
responses that you have received here have at least supported your concern 
that efforts be made to get at the
underlying reasons that your daughter's grades are slipping.  I think, 
though, that the best advice that can be
given to you from a mailing list like this is that you should get in contact 
with people locally or in your state
who can get an idea of what issues might be involved and whether there are 
sources of assistance that could be
helpful.  Most of us who have been parents know that if you and Pat cannot 
come to an agreement, there is always
the risk of a social service agency stepping in and then the results are 
very unpredictable at best.  There are
just not magic answers here, and any advice you get from those of us who 
only know one side of the story could turn
out to be bad advice even though our intentions are good.  I hope you can 
get this resolved soon for the sake of
your daughter.

Best regards,

Steve Jacobson

On Mon, 11 May 2015 10:31:16 -0700, Rob Kaiser via blparent wrote:

>As I wrote yesterday, Pat & I inherrited her when she was two weeks old. At
>the time of the divorce, Pat & I made an agreement that I could see and 
>have
>Breann whenever I wanted to. Then, because of my bad caregiver, I went to
>Chicago for 9 months. I came back here and stayed with Pat for a while, ad
>then moved to Extended Stay Hotel where I lived until Last year (2014)
>jANUARY. tHAT IS WHEN I WEENT WITH sARAH. Since then, Pat will not let me
>take Breann with me. I have to go there.

>Rob Kaiser
>email;
>rcubfank at sbcglobal.net
>-----Original Message----- 
>From: Dena Wainwright via blparent
>Sent: Monday, May 11, 2015 6:25 AM
>To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>Cc: Dena Wainwright
>Subject: Re: [blparent] My Daughter

>As a mother, I cannot imagine having a divorce were my child custody
>arrangement did not come up. This seems absolutely incredible to me. Are 
>you
>her biological father? What rights do you have over her? There seems like
>there is a lot more to the situation then we know.

>Sent from my iPhone

>> On May 10, 2015, at 2:20 PM, Rob Kaiser via blparent 
>> <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> wrote:
>>
>> Pat has custody, but in the divorce, Breann didn't come up because my
>> Divorce attorney told me that I wasn't oblligated to pay Breann Child
>> Support. Pat & I worked it out ourselves. When I came back from Chicago
>> and decided to stay out here, and when I moved from Pat's house over to
>> the Extended stay hotel, I started taking Breann on the weekends. this
>> also allowed me to take her to church with me on Sundays so Breann could
>> attend Sunday School. When Sarah got into the picture, everything 
>> changed.
>> Last year, I was in Orange where Pat lived. Sarah & I wanted to take
>> Breann out for icecfream. Pat said "no." At the same time, Pat & Breann
>> were facing eviction. I offered to take Breann up with me and Sarah in
>> case the eviction happened. that way, Breann would be in a safe place 
>> with
>> a roof over her hhead and properly fed and clothed. Again, Pat said "No"
>> to this. She will not tell me why she won't let me take Breann with me 
>> for
>> a few days. I have assured her that I will bring Breann back to her mom. 
>> I
>> said that because I thought Pat was thinking that I was going to keep
>> Breann with me permanantly. That was the furthest thing on my mind. Now, 
>> I
>> feel that I might need to get Breann out and away from her mom. There was
>> an incident a year and a half ago when Pat (she is diabetic) and her 
>> sugar
>> went very low. Breann told me that her mom could hardly speek. I qasked
>> Breann if she knew about calling 911. She said she did, but she told me
>> that her mom wouldn't let her call them. I told Breann that when her mom
>> gets to that state, she needs immediate medical attention. I told Breann
>> to call 911 first, and then, call me so that I could get there to make
>> sure that Breann was going to be safe while her mom went to the hospital
>> for attention. Pat (which complicates things even more) now has a full
>> blown ulcer. She told me at Christmas, that she is barely eating 
>> anything.
>> That could put her diabetes in more jepardy in my oppinion. I'm going to
>> have to ask Breann some key questions so that I can get an idea what is
>> really going on there.
>>
>> Again, tghanks for the suggestions.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Rob Kaiser
>> email;
>> rcubfank at sbcglobal.net
>> -----Original Message----- From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto via blparent
>> Sent: Sunday, May 10, 2015 12:05 PM
>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Cc: Jo Elizabeth Pinto
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] My Daughter
>>
>> Legal guardians is one thing, but visitation rights is another.  What 
>> does
>> your custody agreement say about where Brianne lives, and who has her for
>> what percentage of the time?
>>
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you 
>> may
>> kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at
>> evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
>> -----Original Message----- From: Rob Kaiser via blparent
>> Sent: Sunday, May 10, 2015 12:57 PM
>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Cc: Rob Kaiser
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] My Daughter
>>
>> Thanks for the informatio. When I spoke to Breann the other day, she was
>> really pushing for me to come and get her, but she keeps saying her mom
>> won't let her come up here. I might be talking to Breann later today, and
>> I
>> will do what you suggested.
>>
>> Thanks.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Rob Kaiser
>> email;
>> rcubfank at sbcglobal.net
>> -----Original Message----- From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto via blparent
>> Sent: Sunday, May 10, 2015 10:37 AM
>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Cc: Jo Elizabeth Pinto
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] My Daughter
>>
>> Michael is right.  We would need to know more about your custody
>> agreement.
>> Busting in there with the police is not usually a great way to go about
>> things, if the police would even oblige you.  What you need to do is take
>> your custody agreement to someone who deals in family law and go from
>> there.
>> Maybe you can find a legal practice that works on a sliding scale, if
>> finances are a problem.  Have you spoken to Brianne about this, asked her
>> if
>> she has an unfair burden of household chores?  If not, talk to her, but
>> don't put that idea in her head before she tells you about it.  Let her
>> tell
>> you how she feels, what she would want her summer to look like as far as 
>> a
>> time split between you and her mom.
>>
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you 
>> may
>> kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at
>> evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
>> -----Original Message----- From: Michael Baldwin via blparent
>> Sent: Sunday, May 10, 2015 8:52 AM
>> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
>> Cc: Michael Baldwin
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] My Daughter
>>
>> What legal rights for Brianne does your X have? If you and her both have
>> legal custody of Brianne, with no set rules about who gets her when, I
>> doubt
>> the police would do anything.
>> If you have sole custody of your daughter, then I think you're a fool for
>> letting her down there, away from you.
>>
>> Michael
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Rob
>> Kaiser
>> via blparent
>> Sent: Saturday, May 09, 2015 9:24 PM
>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Cc: Rob Kaiser
>> Subject: [blparent] My Daughter
>>
>> Hello all:
>>
>> This email may be quite long, and I appologize for this:
>>
>> As many of you know, I have a guardian daughter, Breann. At this time, 
>> she
>> is staying with her mom in Orange. I am currently living in Moreno 
>> Valley,
>> CA. Over a week ago, I spoke with Breann's teacher for the first time ina
>> long time. I was told that her grades are really slipping from As & Bs to
>> Cs
>> and Ds. There has also been behavioral problems with Breann. I told my
>> X-wife that I would like to bring Breann up to Moreno Valley on a weeken.
>> for some reason My X-wife Pat, doesn't want to let me do that. She told 
>> me
>> that if I want to see Breann, I can come down to her house in Orange.
>> Because of the poor atransportation (public, pera and Metro link) on the
>> week ends, and that would be the best time for me to spend quality time
>> with
>> Breann, it is next to impossible for me to get down there on the weekends
>> unless my fiance, Sarah is available to drive me down there. I have every
>> right to have Breann. I am still her legal Guardian. I am tempted to give
>> Pat an altimadum, and tell her that I can come down on a Friday and get
>> her
>> and bring her up here until Sunday evening or very early Monday morning 
>> on
>> the train. If she won't comply, I am thinking about comeing down there
>> with
>> the police and a coppy of the guardian ship papers. I don't want to get
>> the
>> police involed, but I might not have a choice in this. Has anyone else 
>> had
>> a
>> situation like this?
>>
>> I also feel that Pat (with her poor health) and with my step son, Jesse
>> who
>> use to do everything for Pat (get Pats' meds, clean the house go to the
>> grocery store ETC.) Now, I have a feeling that Breann (who just turned 
>> 11)
>> is now going to have to do all of these things. Breann (as I just wrote)
>> is
>> only 11 years old. I'm afraid that she (like Jesse) will not have a 
>> normal
>> child hood. I really want to get Breann out of there amicably, but I 
>> don't
>> think that will happen. I really could use some sugestions on this 
>> matter.
>>
>> Thankss to anyone who can help me on this.
>>
>>
>> Rob Kaiser
>> email;
>> rcubfank at sbcglobal.net
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