[blparent] Intro and Question about city accessibility

Fri May 15 21:27:42 UTC 2015

Sure, you might not get perfection, but there's no harm in looking for as close to perfection as you want. Have you looked into Charlotte North Carolina, or Chapel Hill North Carolina? I would also check out Charlottesville Virginia. Just some ideas that might fit your criteria.

Sent from my iPhone

> On May 15, 2015, at 2:25 PM, Jo Elizabeth Pinto via blparent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Frankly, Amanda, you seem to be looking for perfection.  Life is what you make it, wherever you go.  You have to take the good with the bad, make the most of what you want and learn to step around what you don't like and leave it behind you.  There's an awful lot in the world you don't have control of, so control what you can and let the rest roll off.
> 
> There are churches everywhere, so avoid them or join them.  There are people with kids everywhere you go, so meet them.  There are conservatives, liberals, moderates, Democrats, Republicans, blind people, sighted people, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah, blah, everywhere--get past it.  There's crime everywhere, so deal with it.  Get a home, be as safe as you can.  Install safety features, ask someone from the local police department to come over and check out your place; they'll do it for free.  Not only will you know your home is safe or learn how to make it so, but you'll be getting yourself acquainted with local law enforcement.  It's good to let the boys in blue know you're there.
> 
> As far as the legalization of drugs goes, you're not really going to get away from that issue.  Okay, maybe you can dodge the pot shops on the street corners for a little while if you stay out of Colorado and Washington, but there's a bill in Congress right now suggesting that the Federal government drop all enforcement against anything to do with medical marijuana.  Not recreational, just medical.  Still, it's on the way.  Legalization is spreading like wildfire.  And, as someone who lives and travels in Denver, where the dreaded pot shops are, I can say that they have never once caused me a lick of trouble.  I travel, I raise my kid, I mind my own business. I've never been attacked by crazy stoners.  I've never been ambushed by potheads.  The crime rate hasn't skyrocketed because of recreational marijuana; the shops are very securely run.  You're allowed your criteria; I'm not judging you.  I'm just saying, we made marijuana legal here in Colorado, and the sky didn't fall.  You seem to not want people to judge you for being blind or a single mom, but you sound very judgmental against "potheads" and "smokers."
> 
> Open-mindedness toward the blind.  Hmmm.  Now that's something we all look for, everywhere.  It's something we're glad when we find, frustrated when we don't, on a personal level, day-to-day, hour to hour.  It doesn't matter where you go, Amanda, you'll be blessed with people who are open-minded and cursed with those who are not, year in and year out.  North, south, east, or west--good luck.
> 
> University--that's a good criterion.  The financial stuff, okay, makes sense.  Weather--again, you're looking for paradise.  I'm not sure there's a place on the map that doesn't have some kind of extreme weather or another. Here in Colorado, it's thunderstorms and tornadoes.  The tornadoes don't happen that often, so we learn to stay safe and not think about them too much.  We teach our kids to watch the skies and take cover in interior rooms with hard-backed books over their heads if the sirens go off, and to get their butts out of open fields and swimming pools if they see lightning. Out west, it's earthquakes.  Down south, it's flash floods, in the southeast it's hurricanes, and up north they get  blizzards.  Pick your poison.
> 
> And you want this place to be final, because you aren't moving again? Honey, life doesn't work that way.  I'm about to turn forty-four next week. Now, that doesn't make me a geezer by a long shot, but I have learned a few things.  When I bought this condo in 2007, I had visions of moving in here, putting down roots, and living here till they carried me out in a body bag. Creepy, right?  The day after I put down earnest money--the money you pay and can't get back--I found out I was pregnant with my daughter.  Okay, well, the condo had two bedrooms; I just wouldn't have the home office I had envisioned.  Workable.  But then through a knotted mess of circumstances, it was decided that her dad would move in with me.  Cramped, but sort of workable.  Well, then her dad had a son who wanted to visit sometimes, and her dad needed a place to bring work home, and she got older and wanted a cat, and she got even older and wanted a fish tank, and ... and ... and the upshot is, now that I'm not underwater on the mortgage for the first time since 2007, I'm looking for a larger house.  So you never know what life will throw at you.  I'm just telling you this to say that--don't kid yourself into thinking at thirty-one years old with a four-year-old son that you can plan your life out and decide what city you will live in forever based on your research about the political climate and whether the smokers are respectful or not.  Life doesn't work that way.
> 
> Jo Elizabeth
> 
> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
> -----Original Message----- From: Amanda Matheny via blparent
> Sent: Friday, May 15, 2015 10:12 AM
> To: blparent
> Cc: Amanda Matheny
> Subject: [blparent] Intro and Question about city accessibility
> 
> Hello,
> 
> I had joined this list before, but left when things got very hectic
> and I needed to reduce my list mail. I am back now and I have a
> question, but first I will briefly introduce myself.
> 
> My name is Amanda. I will be 31 in a month and a half and I have a
> 4-year-old son. I am a single mom. We're currently living in Texas,
> but I don't feel like this is where I belong and am planning to move
> after I finish my Bachelor's degree. I was originally planning to move
> to Portland, Oregon, and may still, but there are some problems with
> Portland that are forcing me to reconsider my plans. Speaking of
> which, that is the other part of this email.
> 
> At present, I have three possible options, though there are advantages
> and disadvantages to all three. Let me describe myself and what I am
> looking for in a place, as well as the advantages and disadvantages of
> my current options, and if you think you know a place that fits the
> bill, please suggest it and why you think it fits. I will then
> research all the options in an effort to make a good decision for
> myself and my son.
> 
> I am not religious. I consider myself agnostic. I am visually impaired
> and my son is fully sighted. Both socially and politically I am middle
> of the road. I'm direct middle of the road politically, neither
> republican nor democrat. Socially I am leaning slightly liberal. I
> like to tease that I am too liberal for Texas, but quite likely too
> conservative for Portland, which is very liberal. I love the outdoors
> and I have a good independence level. I prefer to do things without
> assistance whenever possible. I am a Special Education major. Here are
> some basic criteria I want in a city to move to. I don't expect any
> city to meet these perfectly, but it should do so as closely as
> possible.
> 
> 1. I'd like to have friends there. Of course there are lots of places
> I don't have friends, but if I don't have them already, it should be
> pretty easy to meet and connect with other people, including those who
> have kids in my son's age range because I'll need to make friends for
> both of us. Of course a city where I already know at least a couple
> people will be most likely given priority, but if one that does not
> already have people I know fits these criteria better, it will still
> be considered.
> 2. Must have good public transportation. The fixed route system should
> span the entire city, possibly even suburbs, and should run
> frequently, no more than every 20 minutes on weekdays, 30 on Saturdays
> and hour on Sundays, and if it's better than that, so much the better.
> A couple of light rail options doesn't hurt either. Paratransit should
> be reliable when needed for appointments and such.
> 2. Low crime rate, especially violent crimes and sex crimes. I do not
> want to put myself and my son in an unsafe environment. Any city is
> going to have some level of crime, but it should not be overrun by
> crime.
> 3. Very little drug use, and drugs should be illegal. Part of the
> problem with the northwest is the legalization of drugs, like
> marijuana, not only for medical use but for recreational use. I heard
> they're even planning on putting pot stores on the streets, like
> liquor stores, and a few people I know that live up there have said
> more people are using drugs and doing so publicly for all to see. This
> is intolerable to me and I will not expose myself or my son to it. I
> hate smoking of all forms and if I could help it, I wouldn't expose
> myself to cigarettes either, but they are everywhere so that is
> unavoidable. However, if you live in a place where smokers are at
> least respectful of non-smokers, and tend to stay clear of them,
> especially children, then it might be worth considering.
> 4. People should not be judgmental. I know that in some cities, people
> are more open minded toward the blind than others. That is actually
> one of Portland's advantages. Around here, they're nothing but
> patronizing, with very few exceptions. I want to live in a place where
> I can put my degree to good use and not be assumed incapable based on
> my blindness.
> 5. Should have a university. This is a must as I intend to pursue my
> Master's degree in Special Education with a focus on visually impaired
> students. My current focus is mild/moderate as that is all that is
> offered by my online university, so I'll need to transfer to a
> physical one for a VI focus.
> 6. Reasonable climate. Texas gets a lot of flash flooding and
> thunderstorms. One of Portland's advantages is that while it gets
> rain, it's usually not as heavy or violent. Salt Lake is another
> option I've considered that I like, but I don't like the snow,
> especially when the sidewalks are not plowed. That doesn't rule them
> out, but it's something to consider. I'd prefer a nice, moderate
> climate, very little extreme weather problems such as hurricanes,
> tornados, and absolutely no earthquakes! I couldn't handle those.
> 7. Ideally should have Section 8 wait lists open or apartments with
> open wait lists that do project based section 8 or similar state based
> programs. Money is tight for myself and my son, who are currently
> living in a mobile home and only paying lot rent. Unfortunately we
> can't take the mobile home with us or we could just find an accessible
> community there, and we can't afford to buy a new one, so when we move
> out, we'll have to go section 8 or similar until I finish college.
> We'd prefer a 2 bedroom section 8 or similar so we don't have to share
> a room since he's used to his own now, but that actually should be
> easier since most 1 bedrooms get a lot more full than 2 bedroom ones.
> 
> I'm sure there are other things I'd like but these are some of the big
> ones. Now here are the possibilities for the three cities I've
> considered and their advantages/disadvantages. One of them has been
> entirely ruled out and I will tell why in its description.
> 
> Portland Oregon: Advantages - great public transportation system,
> friends in and near the area, some with kids my son's age, almost
> everything accessible, easily navigable address system, people seem
> open to the ability of the blind, Portland State University, mostly
> reasonable weather. Disadvantages - A bit too liberal for my comfort,
> legalized recreational marijuana along with expanding public use and
> the emergence of pot shops, severely limited blind services, though
> Portland residents can acquire services from Vancouver Washington if
> needed.
> Salt Lake City, Utah: Advantages - Another great transit system,
> friendly people, easy to navigate, know the area from living there
> before, University of Utah, my son's old pediatrician from when he was
> a baby if she still works there, who I trust and often tease that I'd
> like back, some friends there, though none with kids. Disadvantages: A
> little too conservative and religious, though not so bad in the main
> city, snow and often unplowed sidewalks during the winter, making
> travel more difficult, ex's family lives there (haven't figured out
> yet if this is actually an advantage or a disadvantage.)
> Plano, Texas: Advantages - Friends from high school, even several
> sighted ones that don't tend to judge, most with kids around my son's
> age, I know my way around since I grew up there, weather is usually
> okay but can get bad at times. Disadvantages - limited public
> transportation so need to walk most places, no university
> (dealbreaker)
> 
> I know this is kind of long, but I'm trying to be thorough. I'd prefer
> a place I've visited before as well, but I haven't visited too many
> places so that may or may not be doable. I'm going to have to do some
> thinking, researching, and soul searching, because wherever I go, I
> want it to be final and where I end up settling. Feel free to make any
> suggestions you think might fit the bill. Thanks!
> 
> Amanda
> 
> -- 
> Amanda Matheny
> Website: www.craftyfrugalmom.com
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