[blparent] Intro and Question about city accessibility
Jessica Reed
jessicac.kostiw at gmail.com
Fri May 15 21:35:24 UTC 2015
I noticed that none of the places you are considering are on the East Coast. Any reason why? I for one can't wait to hear where you guys end up settling? I love this thread!
Sent from my iPhone
> On May 15, 2015, at 5:09 PM, Amanda Matheny via blparent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>
> I don't have a problem with a differing opinion. I have a problem with
> a hostilely expressed opinion, which both of yours were, well yours
> was hostile and stargazer was just making a false assumption.
> Regardless, if I am going to be met with hostility in this group, I
> don't want to be here, so thanks for nothing and you can keep your
> rudeness right where it belongs. At least one person who responded
> knows how to do so maturely and respectfully. I'll figure it out some
> other way, without a bunch of arrogant hotheads chewing me out!!
>
>> On 5/15/15, Jo Elizabeth Pinto via blparent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> My apologies if you thought I was being rude. I believe I was being direct,
>>
>> straight up, telling things the way they are. I'm not riding a high horse,
>>
>> nor am I jumping down your throat, and I think you spoke to both Stargazer
>> and me quite rudely in your reply. When you ask a question on an open
>> forum, you need to be prepared for a variety of different answers, some of
>> which will offer perspectives you might not be prepared to hear. Instead of
>>
>> getting defensive, it might be worth listening to points of view that differ
>>
>> from yours. They may offer ideas you hadn't considered before. I've found
>>
>> that in my life, I've learned the most from people whose ideas were
>> different from mine, and honestly, usually from the words I didn't want to
>> hear, from those who annoyed me, or those I wanted to snap at first thing.
>> I've learned as I got older to hold back my angst and anger and think before
>>
>> flying off the handle, because there are often nuggets of truth I need to
>> listen to when I'd rather not. Just saying.
>>
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may
>> kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at
>> evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Amanda Matheny via blparent
>> Sent: Friday, May 15, 2015 2:37 PM
>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Cc: Amanda Matheny
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Intro and Question about city accessibility
>>
>> Jo, there is really no need to be so rude.
>>
>> I am not looking for perfection. Hello, I did say those were
>> guidelines! I also said that I wanted suggestions similar to the
>> examples I gave, along with advantages and disadvantages of them so I
>> could consider all the options. Get off your high horse and if you
>> can't answer the question, don't jump down my throat for it!
>>
>> Star gazer, not every city is the same with regard to judgmentalism,
>> and I submit that your remark that I must be the cause is judgmental
>> in and of itself. Quite simply, some cities are more known for being
>> accepting of differences while some do tend to shun others. For
>> example, Portland, one of the examples I gave, does seem to be
>> generally less judgmental than San Antonio, where I currently live.
>>
>> Again, if you don't have something helpful to contribute to the
>> question I asked, don't bother answering it. Maybe I shouldn't have
>> even bothered asking!
>>
>>> On 5/15/15, Jo Elizabeth Pinto via blparent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>> Frankly, Amanda, you seem to be looking for perfection. Life is what you
>>> make it, wherever you go. You have to take the good with the bad, make
>>> the
>>>
>>> most of what you want and learn to step around what you don't like and
>>> leave
>>>
>>> it behind you. There's an awful lot in the world you don't have control
>>> of,
>>>
>>> so control what you can and let the rest roll off.
>>>
>>> There are churches everywhere, so avoid them or join them. There are
>>> people
>>>
>>> with kids everywhere you go, so meet them. There are conservatives,
>>> liberals, moderates, Democrats, Republicans, blind people, sighted
>>> people,
>>> yada, yada, blah, blah, blah, blah, everywhere--get past it. There's
>>> crime
>>>
>>> everywhere, so deal with it. Get a home, be as safe as you can. Install
>>> safety features, ask someone from the local police department to come
>>> over
>>> and check out your place; they'll do it for free. Not only will you know
>>> your home is safe or learn how to make it so, but you'll be getting
>>> yourself
>>>
>>> acquainted with local law enforcement. It's good to let the boys in blue
>>> know you're there.
>>>
>>> As far as the legalization of drugs goes, you're not really going to get
>>> away from that issue. Okay, maybe you can dodge the pot shops on the
>>> street
>>>
>>> corners for a little while if you stay out of Colorado and Washington,
>>> but
>>> there's a bill in Congress right now suggesting that the Federal
>>> government
>>>
>>> drop all enforcement against anything to do with medical marijuana. Not
>>> recreational, just medical. Still, it's on the way. Legalization is
>>> spreading like wildfire. And, as someone who lives and travels in
>>> Denver,
>>> where the dreaded pot shops are, I can say that they have never once
>>> caused
>>>
>>> me a lick of trouble. I travel, I raise my kid, I mind my own business.
>>> I've never been attacked by crazy stoners. I've never been ambushed by
>>> potheads. The crime rate hasn't skyrocketed because of recreational
>>> marijuana; the shops are very securely run. You're allowed your
>>> criteria;
>>> I'm not judging you. I'm just saying, we made marijuana legal here in
>>> Colorado, and the sky didn't fall. You seem to not want people to judge
>>> you
>>>
>>> for being blind or a single mom, but you sound very judgmental against
>>> "potheads" and "smokers."
>>>
>>> Open-mindedness toward the blind. Hmmm. Now that's something we all
>>> look
>>> for, everywhere. It's something we're glad when we find, frustrated when
>>>
>>> we
>>>
>>> don't, on a personal level, day-to-day, hour to hour. It doesn't matter
>>> where you go, Amanda, you'll be blessed with people who are open-minded
>>> and
>>>
>>> cursed with those who are not, year in and year out. North, south, east,
>>>
>>> or
>>>
>>> west--good luck.
>>>
>>> University--that's a good criterion. The financial stuff, okay, makes
>>> sense. Weather--again, you're looking for paradise. I'm not sure there's
>>>
>>> a
>>>
>>> place on the map that doesn't have some kind of extreme weather or
>>> another.
>>>
>>> Here in Colorado, it's thunderstorms and tornadoes. The tornadoes don't
>>> happen that often, so we learn to stay safe and not think about them too
>>> much. We teach our kids to watch the skies and take cover in interior
>>> rooms
>>>
>>> with hard-backed books over their heads if the sirens go off, and to get
>>> their butts out of open fields and swimming pools if they see lightning.
>>> Out west, it's earthquakes. Down south, it's flash floods, in the
>>> southeast
>>>
>>> it's hurricanes, and up north they get blizzards. Pick your poison.
>>>
>>> And you want this place to be final, because you aren't moving again?
>>> Honey, life doesn't work that way. I'm about to turn forty-four next
>>> week.
>>>
>>> Now, that doesn't make me a geezer by a long shot, but I have learned a
>>> few
>>>
>>> things. When I bought this condo in 2007, I had visions of moving in
>>> here,
>>>
>>> putting down roots, and living here till they carried me out in a body
>>> bag.
>>>
>>> Creepy, right? The day after I put down earnest money--the money you pay
>>> and can't get back--I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. Okay,
>>> well, the condo had two bedrooms; I just wouldn't have the home office I
>>> had
>>>
>>> envisioned. Workable. But then through a knotted mess of circumstances,
>>>
>>> it
>>>
>>> was decided that her dad would move in with me. Cramped, but sort of
>>> workable. Well, then her dad had a son who wanted to visit sometimes,
>>> and
>>> her dad needed a place to bring work home, and she got older and wanted a
>>> cat, and she got even older and wanted a fish tank, and ... and ... and
>>> the
>>>
>>> upshot is, now that I'm not underwater on the mortgage for the first time
>>> since 2007, I'm looking for a larger house. So you never know what life
>>> will throw at you. I'm just telling you this to say that--don't kid
>>> yourself into thinking at thirty-one years old with a four-year-old son
>>> that
>>>
>>> you can plan your life out and decide what city you will live in forever
>>> based on your research about the political climate and whether the
>>> smokers
>>> are respectful or not. Life doesn't work that way.
>>>
>>> Jo Elizabeth
>>>
>>> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you
>>> may
>>> kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at
>>> evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: Amanda Matheny via blparent
>>> Sent: Friday, May 15, 2015 10:12 AM
>>> To: blparent
>>> Cc: Amanda Matheny
>>> Subject: [blparent] Intro and Question about city accessibility
>>>
>>> Hello,
>>>
>>> I had joined this list before, but left when things got very hectic
>>> and I needed to reduce my list mail. I am back now and I have a
>>> question, but first I will briefly introduce myself.
>>>
>>> My name is Amanda. I will be 31 in a month and a half and I have a
>>> 4-year-old son. I am a single mom. We're currently living in Texas,
>>> but I don't feel like this is where I belong and am planning to move
>>> after I finish my Bachelor's degree. I was originally planning to move
>>> to Portland, Oregon, and may still, but there are some problems with
>>> Portland that are forcing me to reconsider my plans. Speaking of
>>> which, that is the other part of this email.
>>>
>>> At present, I have three possible options, though there are advantages
>>> and disadvantages to all three. Let me describe myself and what I am
>>> looking for in a place, as well as the advantages and disadvantages of
>>> my current options, and if you think you know a place that fits the
>>> bill, please suggest it and why you think it fits. I will then
>>> research all the options in an effort to make a good decision for
>>> myself and my son.
>>>
>>> I am not religious. I consider myself agnostic. I am visually impaired
>>> and my son is fully sighted. Both socially and politically I am middle
>>> of the road. I'm direct middle of the road politically, neither
>>> republican nor democrat. Socially I am leaning slightly liberal. I
>>> like to tease that I am too liberal for Texas, but quite likely too
>>> conservative for Portland, which is very liberal. I love the outdoors
>>> and I have a good independence level. I prefer to do things without
>>> assistance whenever possible. I am a Special Education major. Here are
>>> some basic criteria I want in a city to move to. I don't expect any
>>> city to meet these perfectly, but it should do so as closely as
>>> possible.
>>>
>>> 1. I'd like to have friends there. Of course there are lots of places
>>> I don't have friends, but if I don't have them already, it should be
>>> pretty easy to meet and connect with other people, including those who
>>> have kids in my son's age range because I'll need to make friends for
>>> both of us. Of course a city where I already know at least a couple
>>> people will be most likely given priority, but if one that does not
>>> already have people I know fits these criteria better, it will still
>>> be considered.
>>> 2. Must have good public transportation. The fixed route system should
>>> span the entire city, possibly even suburbs, and should run
>>> frequently, no more than every 20 minutes on weekdays, 30 on Saturdays
>>> and hour on Sundays, and if it's better than that, so much the better.
>>> A couple of light rail options doesn't hurt either. Paratransit should
>>> be reliable when needed for appointments and such.
>>> 2. Low crime rate, especially violent crimes and sex crimes. I do not
>>> want to put myself and my son in an unsafe environment. Any city is
>>> going to have some level of crime, but it should not be overrun by
>>> crime.
>>> 3. Very little drug use, and drugs should be illegal. Part of the
>>> problem with the northwest is the legalization of drugs, like
>>> marijuana, not only for medical use but for recreational use. I heard
>>> they're even planning on putting pot stores on the streets, like
>>> liquor stores, and a few people I know that live up there have said
>>> more people are using drugs and doing so publicly for all to see. This
>>> is intolerable to me and I will not expose myself or my son to it. I
>>> hate smoking of all forms and if I could help it, I wouldn't expose
>>> myself to cigarettes either, but they are everywhere so that is
>>> unavoidable. However, if you live in a place where smokers are at
>>> least respectful of non-smokers, and tend to stay clear of them,
>>> especially children, then it might be worth considering.
>>> 4. People should not be judgmental. I know that in some cities, people
>>> are more open minded toward the blind than others. That is actually
>>> one of Portland's advantages. Around here, they're nothing but
>>> patronizing, with very few exceptions. I want to live in a place where
>>> I can put my degree to good use and not be assumed incapable based on
>>> my blindness.
>>> 5. Should have a university. This is a must as I intend to pursue my
>>> Master's degree in Special Education with a focus on visually impaired
>>> students. My current focus is mild/moderate as that is all that is
>>> offered by my online university, so I'll need to transfer to a
>>> physical one for a VI focus.
>>> 6. Reasonable climate. Texas gets a lot of flash flooding and
>>> thunderstorms. One of Portland's advantages is that while it gets
>>> rain, it's usually not as heavy or violent. Salt Lake is another
>>> option I've considered that I like, but I don't like the snow,
>>> especially when the sidewalks are not plowed. That doesn't rule them
>>> out, but it's something to consider. I'd prefer a nice, moderate
>>> climate, very little extreme weather problems such as hurricanes,
>>> tornados, and absolutely no earthquakes! I couldn't handle those.
>>> 7. Ideally should have Section 8 wait lists open or apartments with
>>> open wait lists that do project based section 8 or similar state based
>>> programs. Money is tight for myself and my son, who are currently
>>> living in a mobile home and only paying lot rent. Unfortunately we
>>> can't take the mobile home with us or we could just find an accessible
>>> community there, and we can't afford to buy a new one, so when we move
>>> out, we'll have to go section 8 or similar until I finish college.
>>> We'd prefer a 2 bedroom section 8 or similar so we don't have to share
>>> a room since he's used to his own now, but that actually should be
>>> easier since most 1 bedrooms get a lot more full than 2 bedroom ones.
>>>
>>> I'm sure there are other things I'd like but these are some of the big
>>> ones. Now here are the possibilities for the three cities I've
>>> considered and their advantages/disadvantages. One of them has been
>>> entirely ruled out and I will tell why in its description.
>>>
>>> Portland Oregon: Advantages - great public transportation system,
>>> friends in and near the area, some with kids my son's age, almost
>>> everything accessible, easily navigable address system, people seem
>>> open to the ability of the blind, Portland State University, mostly
>>> reasonable weather. Disadvantages - A bit too liberal for my comfort,
>>> legalized recreational marijuana along with expanding public use and
>>> the emergence of pot shops, severely limited blind services, though
>>> Portland residents can acquire services from Vancouver Washington if
>>> needed.
>>> Salt Lake City, Utah: Advantages - Another great transit system,
>>> friendly people, easy to navigate, know the area from living there
>>> before, University of Utah, my son's old pediatrician from when he was
>>> a baby if she still works there, who I trust and often tease that I'd
>>> like back, some friends there, though none with kids. Disadvantages: A
>>> little too conservative and religious, though not so bad in the main
>>> city, snow and often unplowed sidewalks during the winter, making
>>> travel more difficult, ex's family lives there (haven't figured out
>>> yet if this is actually an advantage or a disadvantage.)
>>> Plano, Texas: Advantages - Friends from high school, even several
>>> sighted ones that don't tend to judge, most with kids around my son's
>>> age, I know my way around since I grew up there, weather is usually
>>> okay but can get bad at times. Disadvantages - limited public
>>> transportation so need to walk most places, no university
>>> (dealbreaker)
>>>
>>> I know this is kind of long, but I'm trying to be thorough. I'd prefer
>>> a place I've visited before as well, but I haven't visited too many
>>> places so that may or may not be doable. I'm going to have to do some
>>> thinking, researching, and soul searching, because wherever I go, I
>>> want it to be final and where I end up settling. Feel free to make any
>>> suggestions you think might fit the bill. Thanks!
>>>
>>> Amanda
>>>
>>> --
>>> Amanda Matheny
>>> Website: www.craftyfrugalmom.com
>>> Twitter: @craftyfrugalmom
>>> Facebook Profile: http://www.facebook.com/craftyfrugalmom
>>> Facebook fanpage: http://www.facebook.com/cfmfanpage
>>> Stumbleupon: http://www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/craftyfrugalmom
>>> Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/craftyfrugalmom
>>>
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>>
>>
>> --
>> Amanda Matheny
>> Website: www.craftyfrugalmom.com
>> Twitter: @craftyfrugalmom
>> Facebook Profile: http://www.facebook.com/craftyfrugalmom
>> Facebook fanpage: http://www.facebook.com/cfmfanpage
>> Stumbleupon: http://www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/craftyfrugalmom
>> TSU: http://www.tsu.co/craftyfrugalmom
>>
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>
>
> --
> Amanda Matheny
> Website: www.craftyfrugalmom.com
> Twitter: @craftyfrugalmom
> Facebook Profile: http://www.facebook.com/craftyfrugalmom
> Facebook fanpage: http://www.facebook.com/cfmfanpage
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>
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