[blparent] Intro and Question about city accessibility

[Sheila Leigland]

jo elizabeth you are right. Most of the people that have been willing to 
help are strangers and most likely I'll never see them again so I really 
hdon't need to be concerned about there personal business.

On 5/15/2015 6:14 PM, Jo Elizabeth Pinto via blparent wrote:
> Tammy, you said what I was trying to say, mostly.  Why do I care if 
> someone is a pot smoker or a cigarette smoker, a Democrat or a 
> Republican, a Christian or an agnostic or an atheist or a moon 
> worshipper?  I care if the person is pleasant or rude when greeting me 
> or holding open a door for me and my daughter, accurate or flaky when 
> giving directions or offering me a seat on a bus or telling me when 
> it's safe to cross at a busy traffic light, end of story.  I've gotten 
> to the point where I really don't even care all that much who feels 
> superior to me and who doesn't.  Life's too short.  I've been helped 
> on the street by homeless people, old men, teenagers, women, people 
> from all walks of life.  I'm sure we all have.
>
> There are advantages and disadvantages to living in every city on the 
> planet.  It makes complete sense to me that someone would want to live 
> in a city where there is a university if she plans to pursue an 
> advanced degree, and a city with a good transportation system would be 
> a plus for someone who doesn't drive.  But all that stuff about the 
> political climate and the pot smokers, the weather and the 
> judgmentalism, it sounds like a search for perfection to me, so I 
> stated my views.  Instead of hearing me out and thinking about what I 
> said, which is the sign of a mature person who is interested in 
> analyzing all of the responses and thinking through the different 
> sides of an issue, I got called an arrogant hot-head and told to get 
> off my high horse.  *Shrug.*  No skin off my nose.  I was only trying 
> to help.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you 
> may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and 
> full at evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
> -----Original Message----- From: Tammy via blparent
> Sent: Friday, May 15, 2015 5:45 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Cc: Tammy
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Intro and Question about city accessibility
>
> Hi,
>
> I don't think Jo is being rude, just realistic.  Your message came 
> across to
> me as being a bit like you wanted perfection as well.  I don't live in 
> the
> usa so can't help you with picking a city although Canada's a lot like 
> the
> States by the sounds of things.  I understand moving to a city where 
> there's
> good transportation, but finding a city where people won't judge you?  
> What
> would people judge you for?  Being blind?  I live in a city where we have
> both the school for the blind and the Canadian National institute for the
> blind, yet I walk the streets every day and don't feel judged in any way.
> People say hi to me or they don't.  they feel superior to me or they 
> don't,
> and they help me when I ask for help, or they just ignore me.  And 
> this has
> been the same in 4cities, both big and small, with good transportation 
> and
> not so good transportation.  I think your views are very judgmental
> actually.  who cares if people smoke pot?  Why does that have to 
> affect you
> or your son?  I think if you have so many criteria for finding a place 
> you
> won't ever find one to your liking.  Just move to the best place with 
> some
> of the criteria and make the rest work for you.  That's the best you're
> going to get.
>
> hth
>
> Tammy
>
> -----Original Message----- From: Amanda Matheny via blparent
> Sent: Friday, May 15, 2015 4:37 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Cc: Amanda Matheny
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Intro and Question about city accessibility
>
> Jo, there is really no need to be so rude.
>
> I am not looking for perfection. Hello, I did say those were
> guidelines! I also said that I wanted suggestions similar to the
> examples I gave, along with advantages and disadvantages of them so I
> could consider all the options. Get off your high horse and if you
> can't answer the question, don't jump down my throat for it!
>
> Star gazer, not every city is the same with regard to judgmentalism,
> and I submit that your remark that I must be the cause is judgmental
> in and of itself. Quite simply, some cities are more known for being
> accepting of differences while some do tend to shun others. For
> example, Portland, one of the examples I gave, does seem to be
> generally less judgmental than San Antonio, where I currently live.
>
> Again, if you don't have something helpful to contribute to the
> question I asked, don't bother answering it. Maybe I shouldn't have
> even bothered asking!
>
> On 5/15/15, Jo Elizabeth Pinto via blparent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> Frankly, Amanda, you seem to be looking for perfection.  Life is what 
>> you
>> make it, wherever you go.  You have to take the good with the bad, 
>> make the
>>
>> most of what you want and learn to step around what you don't like 
>> and leave
>>
>> it behind you.  There's an awful lot in the world you don't have 
>> control of,
>>
>> so control what you can and let the rest roll off.
>>
>> There are churches everywhere, so avoid them or join them. There are 
>> people
>>
>> with kids everywhere you go, so meet them.  There are conservatives,
>> liberals, moderates, Democrats, Republicans, blind people, sighted 
>> people,
>> yada, yada, blah, blah, blah, blah, everywhere--get past it. There's 
>> crime
>>
>> everywhere, so deal with it.  Get a home, be as safe as you can.  
>> Install
>> safety features, ask someone from the local police department to come 
>> over
>> and check out your place; they'll do it for free.  Not only will you 
>> know
>> your home is safe or learn how to make it so, but you'll be getting 
>> yourself
>>
>> acquainted with local law enforcement.  It's good to let the boys in 
>> blue
>> know you're there.
>>
>> As far as the legalization of drugs goes, you're not really going to get
>> away from that issue.  Okay, maybe you can dodge the pot shops on the 
>> street
>>
>> corners for a little while if you stay out of Colorado and 
>> Washington, but
>> there's a bill in Congress right now suggesting that the Federal 
>> government
>>
>> drop all enforcement against anything to do with medical marijuana.  Not
>> recreational, just medical.  Still, it's on the way. Legalization is
>> spreading like wildfire.  And, as someone who lives and travels in 
>> Denver,
>> where the dreaded pot shops are, I can say that they have never once 
>> caused
>>
>> me a lick of trouble.  I travel, I raise my kid, I mind my own business.
>> I've never been attacked by crazy stoners.  I've never been ambushed by
>> potheads.  The crime rate hasn't skyrocketed because of recreational
>> marijuana; the shops are very securely run.  You're allowed your 
>> criteria;
>> I'm not judging you.  I'm just saying, we made marijuana legal here in
>> Colorado, and the sky didn't fall.  You seem to not want people to 
>> judge you
>>
>> for being blind or a single mom, but you sound very judgmental against
>> "potheads" and "smokers."
>>
>> Open-mindedness toward the blind.  Hmmm.  Now that's something we all 
>> look
>> for, everywhere.  It's something we're glad when we find, frustrated 
>> when we
>>
>> don't, on a personal level, day-to-day, hour to hour.  It doesn't matter
>> where you go, Amanda, you'll be blessed with people who are 
>> open-minded and
>>
>> cursed with those who are not, year in and year out.  North, south, 
>> east, or
>>
>> west--good luck.
>>
>> University--that's a good criterion.  The financial stuff, okay, makes
>> sense.  Weather--again, you're looking for paradise.  I'm not sure 
>> there's a
>>
>> place on the map that doesn't have some kind of extreme weather or 
>> another.
>>
>> Here in Colorado, it's thunderstorms and tornadoes.  The tornadoes don't
>> happen that often, so we learn to stay safe and not think about them too
>> much.  We teach our kids to watch the skies and take cover in 
>> interior rooms
>>
>> with hard-backed books over their heads if the sirens go off, and to get
>> their butts out of open fields and swimming pools if they see lightning.
>> Out west, it's earthquakes.  Down south, it's flash floods, in the 
>> southeast
>>
>> it's hurricanes, and up north they get  blizzards.  Pick your poison.
>>
>> And you want this place to be final, because you aren't moving again?
>> Honey, life doesn't work that way.  I'm about to turn forty-four next 
>> week.
>>
>> Now, that doesn't make me a geezer by a long shot, but I have learned 
>> a few
>>
>> things.  When I bought this condo in 2007, I had visions of moving in 
>> here,
>>
>> putting down roots, and living here till they carried me out in a 
>> body bag.
>>
>> Creepy, right?  The day after I put down earnest money--the money you 
>> pay
>> and can't get back--I found out I was pregnant with my daughter.  Okay,
>> well, the condo had two bedrooms; I just wouldn't have the home 
>> office I had
>>
>> envisioned.  Workable.  But then through a knotted mess of 
>> circumstances, it
>>
>> was decided that her dad would move in with me.  Cramped, but sort of
>> workable.  Well, then her dad had a son who wanted to visit 
>> sometimes, and
>> her dad needed a place to bring work home, and she got older and 
>> wanted a
>> cat, and she got even older and wanted a fish tank, and ... and ... 
>> and the
>>
>> upshot is, now that I'm not underwater on the mortgage for the first 
>> time
>> since 2007, I'm looking for a larger house.  So you never know what life
>> will throw at you.  I'm just telling you this to say that--don't kid
>> yourself into thinking at thirty-one years old with a four-year-old 
>> son that
>>
>> you can plan your life out and decide what city you will live in forever
>> based on your research about the political climate and whether the 
>> smokers
>> are respectful or not.  Life doesn't work that way.
>>
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, 
>> you may
>> kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at
>> evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Amanda Matheny via blparent
>> Sent: Friday, May 15, 2015 10:12 AM
>> To: blparent
>> Cc: Amanda Matheny
>> Subject: [blparent] Intro and Question about city accessibility
>>
>> Hello,
>>
>> I had joined this list before, but left when things got very hectic
>> and I needed to reduce my list mail. I am back now and I have a
>> question, but first I will briefly introduce myself.
>>
>> My name is Amanda. I will be 31 in a month and a half and I have a
>> 4-year-old son. I am a single mom. We're currently living in Texas,
>> but I don't feel like this is where I belong and am planning to move
>> after I finish my Bachelor's degree. I was originally planning to move
>> to Portland, Oregon, and may still, but there are some problems with
>> Portland that are forcing me to reconsider my plans. Speaking of
>> which, that is the other part of this email.
>>
>> At present, I have three possible options, though there are advantages
>> and disadvantages to all three. Let me describe myself and what I am
>> looking for in a place, as well as the advantages and disadvantages of
>> my current options, and if you think you know a place that fits the
>> bill, please suggest it and why you think it fits. I will then
>> research all the options in an effort to make a good decision for
>> myself and my son.
>>
>> I am not religious. I consider myself agnostic. I am visually impaired
>> and my son is fully sighted. Both socially and politically I am middle
>> of the road. I'm direct middle of the road politically, neither
>> republican nor democrat. Socially I am leaning slightly liberal. I
>> like to tease that I am too liberal for Texas, but quite likely too
>> conservative for Portland, which is very liberal. I love the outdoors
>> and I have a good independence level. I prefer to do things without
>> assistance whenever possible. I am a Special Education major. Here are
>> some basic criteria I want in a city to move to. I don't expect any
>> city to meet these perfectly, but it should do so as closely as
>> possible.
>>
>> 1. I'd like to have friends there. Of course there are lots of places
>> I don't have friends, but if I don't have them already, it should be
>> pretty easy to meet and connect with other people, including those who
>> have kids in my son's age range because I'll need to make friends for
>> both of us. Of course a city where I already know at least a couple
>> people will be most likely given priority, but if one that does not
>> already have people I know fits these criteria better, it will still
>> be considered.
>> 2. Must have good public transportation. The fixed route system should
>> span the entire city, possibly even suburbs, and should run
>> frequently, no more than every 20 minutes on weekdays, 30 on Saturdays
>> and hour on Sundays, and if it's better than that, so much the better.
>> A couple of light rail options doesn't hurt either. Paratransit should
>> be reliable when needed for appointments and such.
>> 2. Low crime rate, especially violent crimes and sex crimes. I do not
>> want to put myself and my son in an unsafe environment. Any city is
>> going to have some level of crime, but it should not be overrun by
>> crime.
>> 3. Very little drug use, and drugs should be illegal. Part of the
>> problem with the northwest is the legalization of drugs, like
>> marijuana, not only for medical use but for recreational use. I heard
>> they're even planning on putting pot stores on the streets, like
>> liquor stores, and a few people I know that live up there have said
>> more people are using drugs and doing so publicly for all to see. This
>> is intolerable to me and I will not expose myself or my son to it. I
>> hate smoking of all forms and if I could help it, I wouldn't expose
>> myself to cigarettes either, but they are everywhere so that is
>> unavoidable. However, if you live in a place where smokers are at
>> least respectful of non-smokers, and tend to stay clear of them,
>> especially children, then it might be worth considering.
>> 4. People should not be judgmental. I know that in some cities, people
>> are more open minded toward the blind than others. That is actually
>> one of Portland's advantages. Around here, they're nothing but
>> patronizing, with very few exceptions. I want to live in a place where
>> I can put my degree to good use and not be assumed incapable based on
>> my blindness.
>> 5. Should have a university. This is a must as I intend to pursue my
>> Master's degree in Special Education with a focus on visually impaired
>> students. My current focus is mild/moderate as that is all that is
>> offered by my online university, so I'll need to transfer to a
>> physical one for a VI focus.
>> 6. Reasonable climate. Texas gets a lot of flash flooding and
>> thunderstorms. One of Portland's advantages is that while it gets
>> rain, it's usually not as heavy or violent. Salt Lake is another
>> option I've considered that I like, but I don't like the snow,
>> especially when the sidewalks are not plowed. That doesn't rule them
>> out, but it's something to consider. I'd prefer a nice, moderate
>> climate, very little extreme weather problems such as hurricanes,
>> tornados, and absolutely no earthquakes! I couldn't handle those.
>> 7. Ideally should have Section 8 wait lists open or apartments with
>> open wait lists that do project based section 8 or similar state based
>> programs. Money is tight for myself and my son, who are currently
>> living in a mobile home and only paying lot rent. Unfortunately we
>> can't take the mobile home with us or we could just find an accessible
>> community there, and we can't afford to buy a new one, so when we move
>> out, we'll have to go section 8 or similar until I finish college.
>> We'd prefer a 2 bedroom section 8 or similar so we don't have to share
>> a room since he's used to his own now, but that actually should be
>> easier since most 1 bedrooms get a lot more full than 2 bedroom ones.
>>
>> I'm sure there are other things I'd like but these are some of the big
>> ones. Now here are the possibilities for the three cities I've
>> considered and their advantages/disadvantages. One of them has been
>> entirely ruled out and I will tell why in its description.
>>
>> Portland Oregon: Advantages - great public transportation system,
>> friends in and near the area, some with kids my son's age, almost
>> everything accessible, easily navigable address system, people seem
>> open to the ability of the blind, Portland State University, mostly
>> reasonable weather. Disadvantages - A bit too liberal for my comfort,
>> legalized recreational marijuana along with expanding public use and
>> the emergence of pot shops, severely limited blind services, though
>> Portland residents can acquire services from Vancouver Washington if
>> needed.
>> Salt Lake City, Utah: Advantages - Another great transit system,
>> friendly people, easy to navigate, know the area from living there
>> before, University of Utah, my son's old pediatrician from when he was
>> a baby if she still works there, who I trust and often tease that I'd
>> like back, some friends there, though none with kids. Disadvantages: A
>> little too conservative and religious, though not so bad in the main
>> city, snow and often unplowed sidewalks during the winter, making
>> travel more difficult, ex's family lives there (haven't figured out
>> yet if this is actually an advantage or a disadvantage.)
>> Plano, Texas: Advantages - Friends from high school, even several
>> sighted ones that don't tend to judge, most with kids around my son's
>> age, I know my way around since I grew up there, weather is usually
>> okay but can get bad at times. Disadvantages - limited public
>> transportation so need to walk most places, no university
>> (dealbreaker)
>>
>> I know this is kind of long, but I'm trying to be thorough. I'd prefer
>> a place I've visited before as well, but I haven't visited too many
>> places so that may or may not be doable. I'm going to have to do some
>> thinking, researching, and soul searching, because wherever I go, I
>> want it to be final and where I end up settling. Feel free to make any
>> suggestions you think might fit the bill. Thanks!
>>
>> Amanda
>>
>> -- 
>> Amanda Matheny
>> Website: www.craftyfrugalmom.com
>> Twitter: @craftyfrugalmom
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>>
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>
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