[blparent] Herding Cats and Children

[Judy Jones]

Hi, Note for Sarah as well,

I don't know that I would hire the sighted nanny, but get any questions asked, just as any sighted parent would if they had not had experience caring for babies.  One group I would call on is the La Leche League for advise, whether or not you are breastfeeding.  Back in the day, iI had had experience caring for my niece and nephew as babies, but after our first was born, I hooked up with La Leche League, and that was the best thing that could have happened, and got great advice that stood us in good stead.

I realize you need to do what would work for you, but to me, hiring a sighted nanny could be sending the message to hospital staff that you are trying not to convey in the first place.  Make sure your pediatrician is on your side.  With either of our kids there was no question with medical staff that we both were competent blind parents, because they had gotten to know us.

Judy


-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto via blparent
Sent: Tuesday, October 06, 2015 11:05 AM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Cc: Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Subject: Re: [blparent] Herding Cats and Children

That's one approach to take, and one I might have considered if I had been alone when I brought my baby home from the hospital.  I was alone at the beginning of my pregnancy, but my sighted partner had moved in with me by the time my baby was born, so I didn't have to worry as much about overzealous hospital staff.  That is somewhat ridiculous since in general, moms do most of the childcare, but that's another story.

The reason I'm not willing to consider hiring a sighted nanny at this point, just for show, is that my little girl is seven, nearly eight.  She's happy, healthy, and doing great.  It would be an additional expense for me, and it would also be a setback for blind parents.

Jo Elizabeth

"The Bright Side of Darkness"
is my newly published novel,
available on Kindle and in paperback at Amazon.com.
-----Original Message-----
From: Sarah Clark via blparent
Sent: Tuesday, October 06, 2015 9:49 AM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Cc: Sarah Clark
Subject: Re: [blparent] Herding Cats and Children

Interesting that you mention the sighted nanny thing.  My husband and I do plan to hire a sighted nanny for early on after we bring the baby home from the hospital for that very reason.  Though we obviously don't need it, we don't trust some hospital nurse to not get the crazy idea that we are blind 'so surely can't care for a baby on our own', and call CPS just based on her prejudice.  Obviously we know we would ultimately win the case should something like that arise, but we also know that they normally go ahead and take the child while they are investigating, and if that happened those critical early days/weeks for bonding would be lost, and we are not willing to take that chance.

Sarah




On 10/1/2015 5:10 PM, Jo Elizabeth Pinto via blparent wrote:
> The thing is, sighted people often can't imagine how they would 
> possibly keep track of active children without watching them.  It just 
> blows their mind.  Within the last couple of weeks, I've had two 
> well-meaning aunts say things that have really shaken me up and hurt 
> my feelings.  I have a new novel out, and one of my aunts, who has a 
> lot of contacts in the local business world, would like to get me an 
> interview in the metropolitan newspaper about my book.  Her hesitation 
> is that she's afraid if she brings a reporter and a photographer to my 
> house to do a story about my book, Child Protective Services will be 
> on their heels because they'll worry about the safety of a blind 
> mother raising a sighted child.  My reassurances to her have so far 
> fallen on deaf ears. Her older sister has actually suggested that I 
> hire a sighted nanny for a little while, just to appease the public.
> I've politely refused.  What I've told my aunts is that my daughter is 
> well taken care of, she's doing fine in school, the house is clean if 
> a little cluttered and not decorated to the nines, and my kid has 
> never been to the emergency room with injuries or been brought home by 
> the police.  Not every sighted parent can claim that. I've also told 
> them that we blind parents tend to pay close attention to our kids 
> each day, and we know what to listen for. We know what normal is, so 
> when something doesn't sound right, we tend to pick up on it right 
> away and check on them.  Like Tammy said, your new baby won't come out 
> of the womb walking.  You'll figure out what her patterns are as you 
> get used to her while she's learning to crawl and then walk, and 
> you'll learn what to listen for as she becomes mobile.  More often 
> than not as my baby got around, I was the one telling her dad, "Hey, 
> she's getting in your desk drawer again."
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> "The Bright Side of Darkness"
> is my newly published novel,
> available on Kindle and in paperback at Amazon.com.
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