[blparent] Herding Cats and Children

[Judy Jones]

You are absolutely right on everything you say.  This was something always in the back of our minds, too, even though we did not live in fear.

Judy


-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto via blparent
Sent: Tuesday, October 06, 2015 1:59 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Cc: Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Subject: Re: [blparent] Herding Cats and Children

I don't think Jodi meant that she was paralyzed with fear all the time, but I know how she feels.  There's always that nagging little worry in the back of your mind, like you've got something over your shoulder.  At least there is with me, since members of my own family threatened to try and take my baby away from me on the grounds of my blindness before she was even born.

The thing is, rational thought and a level head have to be the order of the day if and when that knock on the door comes.  It did come for me, thanks to an anonymous phone call that I managed to trace back to a former friend of mine, thanks to some of the things the social worker brought up, which only that particular friend would have known to say.  The doorbell rang one Sunday afternoon when my baby was about nine months old, and a social worker stood on the porch with two police officers.  I was shaken up, but I let them in.  I felt like my home was invaded, but I shoed the social worker around and answered all of her questions as cheerfully as I could.  Her conclusion was that my home was fine, my baby was fine, and she should leave and close the case.  I'm quite sure that if anyone else calls again, I could most likely get the case closed in the same way.  But still, I live with that feeling that there's something at my back.  We all do.  If I had gotten hostile or belligerent, things might have turned out quite differently.

Jo Elizabeth

"The Bright Side of Darkness"
is my newly published novel,
available on Kindle and in paperback at Amazon.com.
-----Original Message----- 
From: Judy Jones via blparent
Sent: Tuesday, October 06, 2015 1:02 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Cc: Judy Jones
Subject: Re: [blparent] Herding Cats and Children

Well, I understand what Jody was saying.  We didn't live in fear and 
trepidation, but we were aware that we certainly needed to be the best we 
can be, but any good parent, sighted or blind, would want to do that anyway.

Judy

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Star Gazer 
via blparent
Sent: Tuesday, October 06, 2015 12:52 PM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Cc: Star Gazer
Subject: Re: [blparent] Herding Cats and Children

Amen Jennifer.
I also thought it was sad that Jodi posted about being relieved when her 
kids turned eighteen. How sad to go through nearly two decades being afraid 
rather then having the confidence and faith that should something happen, 
you and your children would get through it.

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jennifer S 
Jackson via blparent
Sent: Tuesday, October 6, 2015 2:32 PM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Jennifer S Jackson <jennifersjackson at att.net>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Herding Cats and Children

Please consider the implications of statements about children never having 
been to emergency rooms, had police involvement, or caught doing drugs as 
clear signs of good parenting. Sometimes bad things happen to all families 
and implying that never having such problems is due to good parenting 
implies that people who do have any of those struggles are bad parents. Of 
course that could be really what you meant by those statements and not an 
unintended implication. Good parenting can help avoid such problems, but I 
would argue that families who are having these kind of struggles can demand 
even better parenting to get through. Just as we do not want our abilities 
as parents to be judged only on someone's perhaps erroneous understanding of 
blindness, we should not judge other parents whose situation we can not 
know.


Jennifer




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