[blparent] Herding Cats and Children

Tue Oct 6 21:42:02 UTC 2015

Hi all, when my baby was born we had a lot of visitors come to the hospital. We didn't ask family and friends to come, they just came. I am blind, and my husband is a quadriplegic. No one at the hospital question are ability to be good parents. I felt very fortunate! Like many on this list, I have the little worry in the back of my mind but having our daughter taken away from us. It doesn't concern me all the time, but sometimes it is there.
Tara

Sent from my iPhone

> On Oct 6, 2015, at 2:26 PM, Dianna via blparent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> I am going to do whatever I want I don't care if it is a setback for blind
> parents.  I do what is right for me as a parent and everyone else should do
> the same.  We are parents who happen to be blind and I have dealt with cps
> in Colorado and won.  I had done research and new my rights which a lot of
> parents in general blind and sighted have no clue of their rights when it
> comes to CPS or dCFS depending on the state where you live and they get
> bullied as a result.  Sometimes it is blindness related and sometimes it is
> just not knowing your rights as a parent so blindness happens to become the
> weak point they can try and use against you.  Blindness was used with me
> when they thought they could win that because they were out of options , but
> they did not win that either an they got threatened with a law suit.  By the
> way I did not have any backing like the federation and never have really.
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Star Gazer
> via blparent
> Sent: Tuesday, October 06, 2015 3:17 PM
> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Star Gazer <pickrellrebecca at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Herding Cats and Children
> 
> J.E. if you wanted a nanny for whatever reason, get one. You don't, so
> that's the end of it, but I wouldn't give two farts about blind parents. 
> Sarah, why do you want a nanny? What do you expect this person to do? Are
> you or your baby having complications? Will your husband be traveling a lot?
> 
> Many people hire nannies or au pairs, I'm thinking of the single mothers by
> choice who tend to hire au pairs. I also know a couple families that hired
> two au pairs, and one that had a nanny and an au pair. None of these
> families have a blind parent
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jo
> Elizabeth Pinto via blparent
> Sent: Tuesday, October 6, 2015 1:05 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Jo Elizabeth Pinto <jopinto at msn.com>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Herding Cats and Children
> 
> That's one approach to take, and one I might have considered if I had been
> alone when I brought my baby home from the hospital.  I was alone at the
> beginning of my pregnancy, but my sighted partner had moved in with me by
> the time my baby was born, so I didn't have to worry as much about
> overzealous hospital staff.  That is somewhat ridiculous since in general,
> moms do most of the childcare, but that's another story.
> 
> The reason I'm not willing to consider hiring a sighted nanny at this point,
> just for show, is that my little girl is seven, nearly eight.  She's happy,
> healthy, and doing great.  It would be an additional expense for me, and it
> would also be a setback for blind parents.
> 
> Jo Elizabeth
> 
> "The Bright Side of Darkness"
> is my newly published novel,
> available on Kindle and in paperback at Amazon.com.
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Sarah Clark via blparent
> Sent: Tuesday, October 06, 2015 9:49 AM
> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> Cc: Sarah Clark
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Herding Cats and Children
> 
> Interesting that you mention the sighted nanny thing.  My husband and I do
> plan to hire a sighted nanny for early on after we bring the baby home from
> the hospital for that very reason.  Though we obviously don't need it, we
> don't trust some hospital nurse to not get the crazy idea that we are blind
> 'so surely can't care for a baby on our own', and call CPS just based on her
> prejudice.  Obviously we know we would ultimately win the case should
> something like that arise, but we also know that they normally go ahead and
> take the child while they are investigating, and if that happened those
> critical early days/weeks for bonding would be lost, and we are not willing
> to take that chance.
> 
> Sarah
> 
> 
> 
> 
>> On 10/1/2015 5:10 PM, Jo Elizabeth Pinto via blparent wrote:
>> The thing is, sighted people often can't imagine how they would 
>> possibly keep track of active children without watching them.  It just 
>> blows their mind.  Within the last couple of weeks, I've had two 
>> well-meaning aunts say things that have really shaken me up and hurt 
>> my feelings.  I have a new novel out, and one of my aunts, who has a 
>> lot of contacts in the local business world, would like to get me an 
>> interview in the metropolitan newspaper about my book.  Her hesitation 
>> is that she's afraid if she brings a reporter and a photographer to my 
>> house to do a story about my book, Child Protective Services will be 
>> on their heels because they'll worry about the safety of a blind 
>> mother raising a sighted child.  My reassurances to her have so far 
>> fallen on deaf ears. Her older sister has actually suggested that I 
>> hire a sighted nanny for a little while, just to appease the public.
>> I've politely refused.  What I've told my aunts is that my daughter is 
>> well taken care of, she's doing fine in school, the house is clean if 
>> a little cluttered and not decorated to the nines, and my kid has 
>> never been to the emergency room with injuries or been brought home by 
>> the police.  Not every sighted parent can claim that. I've also told 
>> them that we blind parents tend to pay close attention to our kids 
>> each day, and we know what to listen for. We know what normal is, so 
>> when something doesn't sound right, we tend to pick up on it right 
>> away and check on them.  Like Tammy said, your new baby won't come out 
>> of the womb walking.  You'll figure out what her patterns are as you 
>> get used to her while she's learning to crawl and then walk, and 
>> you'll learn what to listen for as she becomes mobile.  More often 
>> than not as my baby got around, I was the one telling her dad, "Hey, 
>> she's getting in your desk drawer again."
>> 
>> Jo Elizabeth
>> 
>> "The Bright Side of Darkness"
>> is my newly published novel,
>> available on Kindle and in paperback at Amazon.com.
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