[blparent] Introduction and a Question

Fri Feb 19 17:41:45 UTC 2016

I think some of these comments have gotten unnecessarily harsh, and people 
have gotten carried away to the point that they have stretched the truth 
from what was even said.  If you would reread the origional post, you will 
see that the poster simply described the client as a "mother of a toddler", 
not a "blind mom and her toddler".  I realize some people get really 
sensative to how the word blind is used, but here the word "blind" was only 
used once in the entire message, and that wasn't even to describe the mother 
at all, but simply the occupation of the poster.  Nit picking looks bad 
anyway, but at least try to be accurate.

On Tue, 2/16/16, Star Gazer via BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a question
> To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: "Star Gazer" <pickrellrebecca at gmail.com>
> Date: Tuesday, February 16, 2016, 6:17 PM
>
> ??? ??? ???
> ??? Thank youSteve. This is all I was getting
> at. It seemed odd that this lady wasn't on
> the list herself, and didn't seem
> to
> have any plans to get here.
> Also, the
> professional described her situation as "helping a
> blind mom and
> her toddler" not "a
> family where the mom is blind".
>
> The approach and advice given is different
> based on the configuration. It
> also works
> differently if the father is involved but they are not
> functioning as a family unit. Say what you all
> will, the world treats
> married families very
> differently then it treats other configurations. The
> professional isn't doing her client any
> favors by presenting her as a single
> mother
> if she isn't. The advice we and others give will be
> different and
> that needs to be taken into
> account.
> Finally, you do all realize that
> the professional has not responded adding
> more detail. It makes me think I'm not too
> far off my mark. The fact that
> everybody
> jumped on me means something I said resonated in a way
> nobody
> likes, and that is also worth
> thinking about. Nobody has to like what I or
> anybody says, so why read and respond?
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> On Behalf Of Steve
> Jacobson via BlParent
> Sent: Tuesday, February 16, 2016 6:05 PM
> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Steve Jacobson <steve.jacobson at visi.com>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a
> question
>
> Everyone,
>
> As the list moderator, please
> allow me to urge that we try to remember that
> all of us come from different backgrounds, not
> just those who come to the
> list as a new
> member.? Notes such as Tammy's below should not go to
> the
> entire list but, if written at all, be
> directed to the individual to which
> the
> comments were aimed.? Generally, you can do a "reply
> to all" and then
> delete the list
> addresses to get the address of the individual.
>
> Some of us here have had
> negative experiences where a well-intentioned
> professional attempted to play a role in our
> lives that went beyond the role
> that was
> prescribed.? Of course, this does not mean that all
> professionals
> do that, nor does it mean that
> it is happening in this case.? However, our
> roles, in my opinion, on this list are
> twofold.? Certainly we need to try to
> provide accurate answers to questions that
> arise.? We are a very good
> resource for
> information needed by blind parents.? In addition, though,
> it
> seems reasonable to me that we also watch
> out for our fellow blind parents.
> It does
> not seem unreasonable to me to suggest that this person
> be
> encouraged to seek out information on her
> own.? By the same token, we also
> must
> realize that there could be reasons she cannot connect with
> us
> directly, and that it could be a
> violation of confidentiality for an
> involved
> professional to share such reasons with the list.? It needs
> also to
> be said that if we are asked
> questions and we do not know all of the facts,
> our advice could be incorrect in some cases.
>
> I have to think that a trained
> professional is going to have the ability to
> analyze the information that is provided and
> also consider whether the
> suggestion that
> the parent be encouraged to contact the list directly is
> worth pursuing.? Parenting is a challenge, but
> as much as possible, we need
> to be
> collecting our own information as blind parents, and we need
> to be
> learning how to handle issues that
> come our way ourselves.? Some times we
> need
> help getting to that point, and the professional in this
> case may
> simply be trying to do that.?
> However, not every professional automatically
> knows about the kinds of things many of us deal
> with every day as blind
> adults and as blind
> parents.? The experience with blind people that many
> professionals have is with blind children or
> with clients who are learning
> to deal with
> blindness.? Therefore, we need to encourage the asking
> of
> questions by list members and by
> professionals who may come to us for
> information.? Let's be careful in our
> communication and consider that a
> carefully
> raised question can create a sense of security that can make
> this
> list even more useful.
>
> Finally, remember that if you
> have a gripe with someone, take it up with
> them off the list.? If you think something
> isn't on topic or appropriate for
> the
> list, then write to me about it, not the whole list.? If
> you forget to
> whom you should write, the
> moderator is listed on the web page for this
> list.? Let's get back to helping each
> other.
>
> Best regards,
>
> Steve Jacobson
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> On Behalf Of Tammy via
> BlParent
> Sent: Tuesday, February 16, 2016 2:14 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Tammy <tcl189 at rogers.com>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a
> question
>
> Hi,
>
> You're opinion was based
> on what exactly?? She asked for help for her
> client, someone we know nothing about aside
> from the fact that she is a
> mother with a
> toddler.? Why is it that most of the time you seem not to
> be
> able to help without being critical??
> It's not your business whether the
> person is paying for services, and it's not
> your business whether the woman
> is in a
> relationship with the father or whether she got knocked up
> in a back
>
> alley somewhere
> and knows nothing about the sperm donor as you call him.
> That's neither here nor there at the moment
> and doesn't concern us unless
> Liz or her
> client brings it up on the list for us to answer questions
> about
> etc.? She asked for help re baby and
> toddler issues.? So if you don't have
> anything nice or posative to add, please do us
> all a favour and shut up!
> I'm sorry all
> for the harshness of this post.? I will say no more on
> the
> subject unless help is needed.?
> I've made my point and will take my own
> advice and shut up now.? lol
>
> Thanks,
>
> Tammy
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Star Gazer via BlParent
> Sent: Tuesday, February 16, 2016 1:29 PM
> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Cc: Star Gazer
> Subject: Re:
> [blparent] Introduction and a question
>
> We all have the right to express our oppinions.
> I think something isn't
> right here and
> I'm going to call it out especially if the personis
> being
> paid to help someone.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> On Behalf Of Annely Rose
>
> via BlParent
> Sent: Tuesday,
> February 16, 2016 1:25 PM
> To: Blind Parents
> Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Annely Rose <annely53r at yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Introduction and a
> question
>
> Thank you Tammy.?
> People make too many assumptions.? We don't know
> whether
> or not Elizabeth has told her client
> about this list.? And if she has and
> her
> client is seeing these negative posts, it would be a
> shame.? People
> should remember: If you
> can't say something nice or positive, don't say
> anything at all.? God bless you all.
>
> Annely
> --------------------------------------------
> On Tue, 2/16/16, Briley O'Connor via
> BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> wrote:
>
> Subject: Re:
> [blparent] Introduction and a question
> To:
> "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: "Briley O'Connor" <brileyoc at gmail.com>
> Date: Tuesday, February 16, 2016, 11:57 AM
>
> Hi there!
>
> Baby wearing seems like the
> best solution. Encourage her to find a local
> baby wearing? group and find
> Baby Wearing
> International resources very? helpful.
>
> Thanks,
> Briley
> On Feb 14, 2016, at 5:55
> PM,
> Elizabeth Bowden via BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> wrote:
>
> Hello
> Wendy,
> Thanks so much for the encouragement
> I really? hope all that will happen is
> well.
>
> Sent
> from my iPhone
>
> > On Feb
> 14, 2016, at 4:07 PM, Wendy Meuse? via BlParent
> > <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> wrote:
> >
> > hi
> Elizabeth:? I am sure
> that there are car seats that can fit? in strollers.
> However I am a grandmother now, and the?
> strollers and? > car seat I used
> are?
> probably long gone.? I found a back pack very useful?
> though.? I just
> loved mine.? I hope you
> will get some good
>
> >
> information from folks on this list
> that are
> using or have used more modern strollers and car? seats
> then I had.
>
> Perhaps she
> would? >? like to get hold of people on this list to
> get some
> good? ideas and to have lots of
> support.
> >
> ----- Original
> Message -----
> > From:
> "Elizabeth Bowden via BlParent"
> <blparent at nfbnet.org>?
> > To:
> <blparent at nfbnet.org>?
> > Cc: "Elizabeth Bowden" <bowdenelizabeth5 at gmail.com>
>
>  > Sent: Sunday, February
> 14, 2016 12:35? PM? > Subject: [blparent]
> Introduction and? a question? >? >?
> > Hello Little,? > My name? is Liz
> Bowden.? I am a blind independen Living
> instructor? instructing the mother
> of a
> toddler.? The mother would like? to? > take her child
> around in her
> community, but will have
> difficulty with a cane, stroller,? and a car seat.
> She primarily uses cabs for? > her
> transportation.? Do any of you use
> anything
> like a stroller car seat combination for your? toddler, and
> if so,
> what make and? >? model.? I
> have investigated options, and find them
> overwhelming.? Other solutions for the problem
> would be? welcome.
> > Thanks In
> Advance.
> > Sent from my iPhone
> >
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