[blparent] curious.

Sun Feb 21 18:15:36 UTC 2016

I haven't seen anything like that either.  Sadly enough, there are parents, 
sighted or blind, who don't care about their children.  But blindness is 
more than likely going to be cited as the main issue or problem.

I would think that your children are living proof to your brother that his 
claims are groundless.

Judy

-----Original Message----- 
From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto via BlParent
Sent: Sunday, February 21, 2016 10:51 AM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Cc: Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Subject: Re: [blparent] curious.

During the dispute over my unborn baby, I uncovered a substantial body of
scientific and anecdotal research from the Internet claiming that sighted
children raised by blind parents have fared no worse than sighted children
raised by parents without disabilities.  The stories that interested me most
were those from grown children who reflected back on their lives with blind
parents and explained the positive aspects--learning about differences
between people, taking responsibility, that kind of thing.  There were a few
hitches such as social awkwardness and transportation difficulties, but by
and large, most adult children said their families had worked around the
issues and turned them into positives along the way.  My brother insisted
there was another body of research out there saying that sighted children
raised by blind adults faced a myriad of problems, but when I pressed him
for sources, he either could not or would not back up his claims.  To this
day, I haven't been able to find the research he mentioned, and I have
scoured the Internet for it.  I would be very interested in seeing it
because, in my opinion, to be forewarned it to be well armed.

Jo Elizabeth

"The Bright Side of Darkness"
is my newly published novel,
available in Kindle, audio, and paperback formats at Amazon.com.
-----Original Message----- 
From: Judy Jones via BlParent
Sent: Sunday, February 21, 2016 8:50 AM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Cc: Judy Jones
Subject: Re: [blparent] curious.

No doubt.  You were probably blown away.  Hard to know what drives that.

Judy

-----Original Message----- 
From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto via BlParent
Sent: Saturday, February 20, 2016 10:30 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Cc: Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Subject: Re: [blparent] curious.

My brother and I have not come to an understanding.  His plans to take my
baby began a very troubled relationship between us.  I haven't been able to
forgive him for what he tried to do, even though it thankfully failed.  I
wish more people had attitudes about blindness like your sister does.  The
strange thing is, until I had a child, my family had never doubted my
capacity to do anything I put my mind to.  Their sudden absolute lack of
confidence in my ability as a mother, before I even had a chance to try,
came as a complete shock to me.

Jo Elizabeth

"The Bright Side of Darkness"
is my newly published novel,
available in Kindle, audio, and paperback formats at Amazon.com.
-----Original Message----- 
From: Judy Jones via BlParent
Sent: Saturday, February 20, 2016 9:59 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Cc: Judy Jones
Subject: Re: [blparent] curious.

You are so right about the communication thing. Both my husband and I made a
conscious effort to model that. If the kids wanted one of us, we would
switch off whatever device may have been playing. If I was working in our
home office, I would remove myself from the computer, just giving full
attention in body language as well.

With both my husband and I being blind, I guess our girls learned to respond
verbally automatically. Like you, I always began by calling the name and
continuing when I got a verbal response. Or I would phwmically go over to
where thex were and continue.

Very sorry to hear about your brother try to take your baby away, but glad
for you that he did not. I can't imagine a family member not knowing you
well enough to know that blindness is no big deal. I hope all is working out
well with him now, and that you were able to come to an understanding. Not
knowing your brother, but maybe it was his way of caring, though
misdirected?? That would have been emotionally traumatic no doubt.

I have an older sister who was very good to the girls. Unfortunately, she
doesn't live our area, but I'm so grateful for texting and cell phones these
days, makes communication a lot easier.

We had an NFB convention in the Dallas area where owe lived, and she
attended, signed up for everything she could sign up for, had a ball. She
asked me a question once that blew me away. She asked, "Why don't employers
hire more blind people if they are qualified and have the skills to do the
job?" She honestly didn't get it. I told her that if the public had her
attitude, blind people wouldn't have an employment barrier to face.

----- Original Message -----
From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto via BlParent  <blparent at nfbnet.org>
To:  blparent at nfbnet.org
CC: jopinto at msn.com
Date: Saturday, February 20, 2016 7:38 pm
Subject: Re: [blparent] curious.

>
>
> I think my daughter developed her verbal skills earlier than other 
> children
> her age did, since whining and pointing didn't get her what she wanted. 
> She
> has also developed a good sense of direction when we are out and about, 
> and
> the ability to notice landmarks.  Kids tend to exercise and sharpen the 
> set
> of skills they practice and use in their daily lives.
>
> I'm not really sure how much the eye contact thing affected my daughter 
> when
> she was a baby.  "Lack of proper eye contact and the fact that my facial
> expressions are "not always appropriate for the situation at hand" were 
> two
> of the reasons my brother gave when he decided to take my baby away from 
> me.
> But he didn't take her and she hasn't seemed to be negatively influenced 
> by
> either of those two issues as she has grown up.
>
> The only important thing I've really noticed about eye contact is that 
> now,
> as my daughter has gotten older and TV and electronic devices have entered
> her life, I need to make sure I have her full attention when I'm talking 
> to
> her.  That goes for the other people in my household as well.  We started
> having communication problems for a while because I would say something 
> and
> get no answer, so I would say it again, and then my daughter or stepson, 
> or
> sometimes their dad, would get irritated with me for repeating it.  I 
> would
> tell them I repeated it because I'd gotten no answer, and if they didn't
> want me to repeat what I said, they could have given me some indication
> they'd heard me the first time.  Or sometimes I would say something and it
> didn't get heard because apparently nobody knew who I was talking to.  I
> guess it was a sighted thing-I hadn't looked at anybody and directed the
> conversation to that person in particular-but I still sometimes think it
> was more of a selective hearing thing because nobody wanted to take
> responsibility for what I had been saying; usually something about Mom not
> being the maid or the like.  Anyway, over time, we developed a system 
> where
> I would say, "Are you listening to me" and use the person's name, and get 
> a
> "yes" answer, and then go on.  Sort of the verbal equivalent of eye 
> contact.
> It has at least reaffirmed my confidence in the fact that I'm speaking the
> same language as the other people in my household.  I used to wonder if I
> were thinking in English, but speaking some obscure Martian language every
> time I opened my mouth, since nothing I said seemed to be heard or
> understood.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> "The Bright Side of Darkness"
> is my newly published novel,
> available in Kindle, audio, and paperback formats at Amazon.com.
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: Tara Wiseman via BlParent
> Sent: Saturday, February 20, 2016 5:36 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Cc: Tara Wiseman
> Subject: Re: [blparent] curious.
>
> Do you guys think the children of blind parents are more verbal? I know my
> little 18-month-old daughter is extremely verbal. My pediatrician was very
> impressed with the way that Marie makes eye contact and said it was very
> unusual for her age. I read a study of children of blind moms. The 
> children
> of blind mothers made iContact better thanor at the same level as their
> peers who were children of cited mothers. The theory was that because
> children were being taken care of by their blind moms and then presumably
> other sighted family members and friends it was very natural to them to 
> make
> a switch between auditory and visual worlds.  Anyway just interested in 
> what
> everyone thinks.
> Tara
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
> On Feb 20, 2016, at 12:42 PM, Judy Jones via BlParent
> <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>
> Very cute.  Then she probably goes on to describe it.  I know our girls
> were both and still are nonstop talkers.
>
> Judy
>
> -----Original Message----- From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto via BlParent
> Sent: Saturday, February 20, 2016 11:57 AM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Cc: Jo Elizabeth Pinto
> Subject: Re: [blparent] curious.
>
> My daughter is almost eight years old, and she still half believes I have
> a
> pair of working eyes hiding somewhere under the hair in the back of my
> head.
> Sometimes she'll draw a picture or bring a really good paper home from
> school or something, and she'll be really excited and say, "Look, look!"
> I'll remind her I can't see it, and she'll say, "Mom!  Look with your back
> eyes!"
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> "The Bright Side of Darkness"
> is my newly published novel,
> available in Kindle, audio, and paperback formats at Amazon.com.
> -----Original Message----- From: Judy Jones via BlParent
> Sent: Saturday, February 20, 2016 11:07 AM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Cc: Judy Jones
> Subject: Re: [blparent] curious.
>
> When raising my girls, my husband and I used to say, the eyes in the front
> of the head may not ork, but the ones in the back do.  We'd joke about it,
> and the girls knew what we meant.
>
> Judy
>
> -----Original Message----- From: Elizabeth Bowden via BlParent
> Sent: Friday, February 19, 2016 7:59 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Cc: Elizabeth Bowden
> Subject: Re: [blparent] curious.
>
> What an interesting topic:
> For my part, I have many nieces and nephews but never had that difficulty.
> I am a to look like I am looking at them enough so that they don't notice
> anything till they are about 4 or 5.  Then they wonder why I keep my eyes
> closed sometimeso.  I just tell them I don't need my eyes like they do.
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
>> On Feb 19, 2016, at 8:18 PM, Wendy Meuse via BlParent
>> <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>
>> i know that our own kids get used to the way we do things.  Eeven when my
>> daughter was quite a small baby, my husband told me that
>> she could tel that  I was not looking at her. of course I was talking to
>> her as any mother does, and I had my face turned towards
>> her, but of course our eyes did  not meet.  My daughter took this in
>> stride.  Whenn I was watching other children though it took
>> them a little while to get used to me not  looking at them. i wondered
>> iff any of you noticed this and did it take say, yourr
>> nabor's children or your  friend's children long to get used to this
>> situation?  When I started worrking at daycare, it took some of
>> the kids a while to get used to it.  I had to work harder to win their
>> confidence.  i thought this would be an  interesting topic
>> and I wondered what you guys thhink?
>> today is a brand new day with no mistakes in it.  let go of the past and
>> move forward.
>>
>>
>>
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Judy
Sent From My Braille U2 Mini

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