[blparent] Question for Blind Dads About Dressing Babies

[Star Gazer]

					This, entirely. Also, nothing is
worse then a partner acting like a teacher. It isn't your job to teach... he
and your?? Daughter will figure it out. 
I'm also wondering who's issue this is. Does he want to dress the baby, or
do you want him to? There is nothing wrong with him putting her in those one
piece thin sleepers if that's what's easiest for him. If you don't want
that, then dress her yourself. Whoever does the task gets to control it. 
Many of us didn't have experience with dolls or children until we had
them.... and interestingly enough children is the only topic where we
complain about it. Nobody ever says "I've never built a house before, I
don't understand why I'm not as experienced as the guy who's built ten". 
Finally, I'd urge you to get far far away from the "I'm blind, and I can do
this, he's blind so why can't he". You and he are different. You both have
talents and attributes nobody else has. You both apply these talents and
attributes in ways that nobody else is. My oldest daughter is incredible at
teaching people about dinosaur bones. She picked up a bannanna and said
"Mommy, do you know how big a t-rex tooth is?" Then she had me touch the
bannanna, really feel it's length and width, and said "That bannanna is the
size of one t-rex tooth". I've seen her teach other people similar things.
Not all people have this ability. I'm sure your baby's father brings a lot
to the table. Focus on that, and realize that time will take care of this
issue, no matter what he does or doesn't do.
-----Original Message-----
From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Judy Jones
via BlParent
Sent: Wednesday, June 15, 2016 2:17 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Judy Jones <Judy.Jones at icbvi.idaho.gov>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Question for Blind Dads About Dressing Babies

Hi,

My husband is also blind, and he had had no experience either, but practice
makes perfect.  Does he interact with your daughter while dressing, by maybe
playing peek-a-boo with the clothing item, or sing-along, or just talking to
her.  Also, maybe it would help if there is plenty of time for dressing and
neither he or your daughter have to be rushed.  Just some thoughts.

Judy

-----Original Message-----
From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Allison via
BlParent
Sent: Wednesday, June 15, 2016 12:07 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Cc: allison82 at cox.net
Subject: [blparent] Question for Blind Dads About Dressing Babies

Hi All,

Happy Father's Day everyone. I have a question that anybody on here is
welcome to chime in on, but I'm especially looking for suggestions from
blind dads. How did you learn to dress your baby? Was the process ever
difficult for you and what helped it get easier?

My daughter is five-months-old and my husband is having a lot of difficulty
dressing her. I kept hoping this issue would get better over time with
practice, but it's not improving all that much. So far he can only manage
footie pjs, which is something, but we live in the desert where it is 100
degrees or more each day and footies are too warm. Any other clothing like
onsies,  dresses, t-shirts, etc seems to baffle my husband and send our
daughter into fits of screaming and crying as he tries to dress her. I'm
blind myself and can get our baby dressed okay. So I don't think it's just a
blindness issue. I think having sight would help my husband to learn some of
this more easily, but it's certainly not required because other blind
parents, myself included, manage it. 

I think that maybe guys in general are given very little practice with
dressing small children. And my guess is that blind men especially have
almost no chances in their lives to work on this skill. I honestly don't
know where or how I learned how to dress a baby, but I think I got some
practice on baby dolls and baby-sitting charges growing up. As a guy, my
husband didn't have those experiences, so as an adult with his own baby,
he's at a loss. 

I've tried giving him dressing tips both by letting him feel what I do and
through verbal description. I've also set aside a separate bag of clothing
for just him to use. It's a set of outfits that seemed easier than others
because they had large neck openings,  were one piece, and were on the big
size. So far, none of those techniques have helped, and I'm at a loss  of
what to try next because I just don't want to listen to my baby crying
during daddy dressing time each day. 

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and he's a terrific dad to our
daughter. He does a lot of other baby care quite well. He is better than me
at giving our daughter medicine for example. He also doesn't shy away from a
messy diaper which I so appreciate. 

We really just could use some baby-dressing suggestions for him because it
is not practical for me to dress my daughter all the time. I work full-time
and my husband is home with the baby during the day. I dress her in the
morning, but if she needs a new outfit throughout the day, as babies tend to
do, he needs to be able to dress her. 

Thanks in advance for suggestions.

Best,
Allison


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