[blparent] spanking and physical punishments

[Judy Jones]

I understand where you are coming from.  We have a very confused society that is going to be rearing some very confused kids, but it is what it is, and it's too bad that the powers that be can't recognize the difference between child abuse and correction.  Of course, I believe spanking should be the very last resort.  There are numerous ways of gentle and positive discipline that work for more situations than not.  My kids were born in the 80s, the rare instances of spanking worked for them, and they would tell you so.  The real concern is that state and/or federal government is encroaching more and more on the home.  In child abuse cases, this is a good thing, but otherwise not.  If a child has an inkling that the parent does not have the control they should, he will take advantage of that.  Too bad.  The climate we live in shuns guidelines of many kinds, and we have yet to reap the reward.

Judy

-----Original Message-----
From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Julie J. via BlParent
Sent: Monday, March 28, 2016 2:16 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Cc: Julie J.
Subject: [blparent] spanking and physical punishments

I’ve noticed that a lot of the recent messages are pretty pushy about spanking and other physical punishments.  I’m not judging, parent however you see fit.  The thing is though that the repercussions for spanking and the like these days are very, very different than from the 70’s when a lot of us were growing up.

Now if your kid tells his teacher his parents spank, the teacher will be reporting this to the powers that be.  If you spank your kid in the grocery store, you could very well end up explaining your action to the police.   If your child has a mark on him, even if it’s from a tumble off his bike, you are going to be answering a lot of questions from people in positions to make your life very, very miserable.  Add in the fact that every one of us is blind and like it or not there is already  some preconceived ideas at least by some professionals.  Start with doubt, add in your child’s rendition of what happened, stir in a healthy dose of societal implications of spanking and what you have is a recipe for misery.

I’ve been teaching parenting classes for  6 years or so now.  I’ve worked with parents from abusive homes, parents who left abusive spouses, parents with kids with diagnosed behavior problems, parents with kids in the criminal justice system and your regular Ozzy and Harriet type of parents.   There are effective alternatives to spanking.  Alternatives that won’t create more problems for you.  Also if you want the support of teachers, social workers, family doctor and mental health professionals you are going to have to pick a strategy that doesn’t involve physical punishments because no professional these days is going to promote that approach.

As has been said before, spanking is considered abuse in some places.  It’s also common for parents who have divorced or separated because of a adult abuse situation to have a court order that no physical punishment can be used with the children.

I have no idea what the situation is with the original poster.  I do absolutely know that spanking, although it may very well work, is not an easy answer to a difficult situation.  I would hope that people would be supportive of all  parents no matter what their parenting approach or life situation.

Julie
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