[blparent] (no subject)
Alomi Parikh
alomiparikh24 at gmail.com
Mon May 15 21:47:49 UTC 2017
Hello,
I am so sorry you feel this way and I am sorry if I have hurt your
sentiments or let you feel like I have used you in any manner.
I believe to sign up for Sharon's course I will have to pay and attend the
classes and as I am just a student living in India, this does not make
sense so I was wondering if she could briefly tell me what it is she
teaches, but I would completely understand if she didn't.
I have done extensive research on Parenting and Infancy and have only
reached out to this mailing list to get first hand experiences. Judy Jones
so politely explained to me that in my first email I made multiple
assumptions and I would not find that realisation anywhere except from a
blind person themselves.
My professor is we aware of the fact that I have contacted not only this
mailing list but several other Blind Parents and couples from multiple
organizations and have had multiple interviews over the last week.
This is the link to the survey held for Sighted Parents. I have got 175
responses and if required I can attach the response spreadsheet.
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfZNZwV3IigIXkrSIwW-3KqH0KF0AYRv64clOqdbZxdI4mrRg/viewform?c=0&w=1
I could also attach my research document if you would like to see the work
and research I have done before reaching out to you. This is not a last
minute homework trick. This is a genuine concern and query.
I may have made some assumptions in my previous emails and like I expressed
before I am truly sorry if I hurt anyone's sentiments.
I do realise this is an extremely sensitive topic but I was hoping to
interact with some people like Just Jones who could help me understand this
situation better.
I do know of some organizations and I understand what you are saying. I
will look into it further.
The reason I have contacted this mailing list is because I came across a
video of the video of Erika Johnson whose child was taken away for 57 days
and it really upset me that authorities found her "unfit" to be a parent. I
then came across Mark Riccobonos video on Parenting without sight and came
across the National Federation for Blind site and read multiple articles.
I may be too young and this may sound pretentious but I want to grow up and
make a difference in people's lives. I understand that this topic may seem
to be beyond my understanding but I still want to try. I just want to know
if there is anything I can work towards to make lives of Blind Parents the
slightest bit easier.
I am so so sorry once again if I have offended anyone.
But I still hope that you believe that this is not a last minute homework,
but someone just trying to learn to make the world around her a better
place.
I am sorry.
Thank you.
Alomi Parikh
On May 16, 2017 2:52 AM, "Star Gazer via BlParent" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
wrote:
If you are interested in
Sharon's course, why not sign up? You are free to do that as is anybody else
who is interested.
Is it just me, or do we have a college kid who is trying to take the "barely
legal" way out of doing an assignment?
Think about it, all she needs to do is copy and paste any responses she gets
and hand them into her professor. She doesn't even have to hand key the
responses.
I also don't believe for a minute that you asked these same questions of
sighted parents, and that you approached them with the same bias you have
approached blind parents. You knew you would get the type of responses you
did when you coupled it wht a bias that you may believe, or you may not
believe. Point is, you just got a few nice ladies, and probably a lot of
suckers to do your homework for you.
You do realize that some of your questions apply to women who experience
postpardum depression and/or anxiety, and that sight or lack thereof has
nothing to do with it? You do realize that there are a boat load of
industries that exist to support and assist families with infants. And, you
do realize that there are not enough blind people having children to sustain
these industries, right?
You need to grow up, have some experiences, have children (because that's
when you will discover you don't know what you think you know) and come back
in a few years. Your homework is due soon, so I doubt you will do this.
-----Original Message-----
From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Alomi
Parikh via BlParent
Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 3:06 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Alomi Parikh <alomiparikh24 at gmail.com>
Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
Hi Sharon,
Yes, I came across your course on your website and am extremely interested
in knowing what and how you teach in this course. I completely understand if
you cannot disclose details but a brief explanation would be a great start!
I will definitely try and work on the perspective aspect that you mentioned.
Thank you so much for replying and getting back to me!
Regards,
Alomi Parikh
On Mon, May 15, 2017 at 10:55 PM, Sharon Howerton via BlParent <
blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> Alomi, thank you for your questions. I work for the Hadley Institute
> for the Blind and Visually Impaired and teach a three course parenting
> series. We have students from all over the world, and I have had one
> or two students from India who have taken the parenting courses with
> me. I think the lifestyle in India may be different from what we
> experience in the US where Indian parents may live with extended
> family, for example, and some blind people in India may live
> differently than we do as well. I would encourage you to get a lot
> more information about blind parenting from both the American and
> Indian perspective, for example, but first you might want to learn
> about perceptions of blind individuals as this may be impacted by the
> culture of one's country.
> Good luck.
> Sharon Howerton
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Alomi
> Parikh via BlParent
> Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 11:06 AM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Cc: Alomi Parikh
> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
>
> Hi Judy,
>
> First of all, I'd like to heartily thank you for contacting me.
> Secondly, I am extremely sorry if my assumptions hurt you in any way,
> it was not my intention.
>
> I am also sorry I didn't make this clear, but no, I am not blind. I
> have contacted the list to get a better insight and first hand reports
> that would help me in my project. And yes, I am not a parent.
>
> I spoke to a couple of Blind Parents from India and they indicated
> that they often had the help of their sighted friends and neighbors
> and I made the mistake of generalizing this.
>
> Thank you for the rest of your answers, they were really helpful. But
> I wanted to clarify a few things.
>
> The same set of questions were sent out to both Blind and Sighted parents.
>
> For example, my intention was not to imply that there is a problem
> providing safety but to inquire if you faced any safety issues
> personally.
> They are multiple safety hazards to infants in general and my aim was
> to find out if there is any major difference between the way Blind
> Parents and Sighted Parents take care of their infants.
>
> As for the question about the most worrisome part of raising an
> infant, I was just aiming at the psychology of the parent and not
> attacking a problem in any way. For example, several sighted parents
> replied with various answers such as Communication Gap, Making sure
> they are healthy, Facing the unknown, Night shifts etc. Hence, it was
> just a question to see how you as a parent (irrespective of being
> Blind or not) felt while raising your kids.
> I am sure you had some anxieties as well and that is what I was hoping
> to understand.
>
> Nonetheless, I am sorry if I hurt your sentiments in anyway by making
> any assumptions. But I am so glad that you replied as now I have a
> more clear picture of my topic. Thank you so much for taking out the
> time to read this long email and patiently reply to all my queries.
>
> I am eagerly waiting for more responses.
>
> To the other readers,
>
> I would like to reiterate to the others that personally I strongly
> believe that Blind Parents are 100% capable to raise their infants. I
> am just reaching out to understand if there are any problems or not
> and want to clear out any assumptions.
>
> The following questions were sent out to both Blind and Sighted
> Parents and in no way are singling out Blind Parents by assuming that
> they will definitely have problems. These questions are to understand
> more about your Psychology as a parent more than anything else.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> *3. What are some of the other problems regarding safety that you
> facedwhile raising your infant?4. What are some unconventional methods
> you use to keep your infant safe?5. What is/was the most worrisome
> part of raising an infant?6. What are some solutions you would
> suggest?7. Would you like to say anything apart from the questions?*
>
> Thank you once again for your valuable time.
>
> Alomi Parikh
>
> On Mon, May 15, 2017 at 9:09 PM, Judy Jones via BlParent <
> blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>
> > Hello,
> >
> > Thank you for contacting this list.
> >
> > First of all, are you blind? I also take it that at your age, you
> > are not yet a parent possibly?
> >
> > You are making assumptions too many times that others make, that the
> > blind parents do need some sighted assistance. Not so.
> >
> > My blind husband and I raised two happy and healthy girls, who are
> > now successful adults, and we had no outside sighted assistance. I
> > will qualify that by saying that we have lots of sighted friends.
> > We are very social, and our girls have been also. As a natural part
> > of friendships, we would do things for each other. I would bake
> > cookies, or watch other sighted friends' kids, for instance. The
> > sighted parents might take my kids somewhere, because they could
> > drive. But we also took our kids places on the bus. We did not
> > have sighted help based on our blindness. We would do things for
> > each other as a natural result of being friends and filling a need.
> >
> > We only used a baby sitter, believe it or not, once. Most of the
> > time we hung with other parents who had kids, and we all would
> > congregate in kid-friendly places, because we wanted to. We were
> > very independent with our kids, using either cabs or buses to get
> > them where they needed to go, and we took other sighted parents'
> > kids with us, if their parents did not have the time or ability to drive
them.
> >
> > To address your issues. Child safety is always of concern to
> > parents, not just to blind parents. Providing that safety is not
> > visual, but common sense. Again, you are making some underlying
> > assumptions that are not necessarily true. Blind or sighted, you
> > need to be aware of your environment, your child's environment, and
> > be in tune with your child. We were aware of safety precautions we
> > would need to take, and took them. A child who is choking is not
> > going to just sit there and choke. He will be moving and showing
> > other signs of distress, making some noises, breathing changes.
> > Granted, blind parents cannot see skin pallor, but there are so many
> > other symptoms that go along with what
> is going on with the child.
> > I'm
> > speaking from experience.
> >
> > The answer to your second question is obvious. I would resolve the
> > first-aid situation with steps that need to be taken at the time of
> > the incident. It is good advice for parents to know CPR and take
> > that and first aid classes that are offered in communities.
> >
> > The only unconventional things we did, but I got this idea from
> > seeing a sighted parent do this, is we put bells on our toddlers'
> > shoes so we could hear where they are. Another thing we did, if we
> > called for the child and they did not respond, we would take it on
> > ourselves to go find them. When we did, we would be very
> > matter-of-fact and say something like, Oh, there you are, and not make a
big deal out of it.
> > We took control by finding the child ourselves, and not giving child
> > the control to come to us when they felt like it. A great behavior
> > to practice. By the way, I learned that one at guide dog school
> > years before we had children. (smiles)
> >
> > Your next question, again, assumes there have to be problems in
> > providing safety. There are not. The answer is prevention. There
> > are priorities of providing safety. As a blindparent of a toddler,
> > you cannot just sit in a chair, and tell toddler to come to you.
> > You need to be on your feet with that toddler when he is exploring,
> > when not by your side. That alone will eliminate a lot of safety
issues.
> > Your child is your responsibility, not someone else's.
> >
> > Any successful blind person becomes a problem-solver, and this is
> > true of blind parents as well as sighted parents. We all do what we
> > can to make any hazards nonissues by taking preventative steps in
> > the first place and thinking ahead.
> >
> > Your next question, again you are assuming wrongly, in our case,
> > that it was worrisome raising kids. It was not. It was delightful,
> > lots of hard work, but we enjoyed it.
> >
> > Parenting skills have more to do with parenting, and not the fact
> > that the parents are blind. I can tell you also from my experience
> > of grown sighted kids that they will tell you the same thing.
> >
> > Judy
> >
> >
> >
> > From: BlParent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
> > Alomi Parikh via BlParent
> > Sent: Monday, May 15, 2017 7:56 AM
> > To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> > Cc: Alomi Parikh
> > Subject: [blparent] (no subject)
> >
> > Hello
> >
> > Respected Sir/Madam,
> >
> > I am Alomi Parikh, a 19-year old Design Student from MIT University
> > in Pune, India.
> >
> > I have chosen to work with Parenting without SIght for a college
project.
> >
> > While I strongly believe that Blind Parents are completely and
> > wholly capable of raising their own children, society may think
otherwise.
> > However, I have researched and observed that while they are fully
> > capable, they do rely on their sighted friends or family for certain
> > reasons which curbs their independence slightly. I have also come to
> > realise that raising an infant is the most difficult part and there
> > are
> multiple safety hazards.
> >
> > After extensive research, I have narrowed down the topic I want to
> > work with as the following:
> >
> > Choking hazards are one of the most common safety hazards to infants
> > (0-12 months). The symptoms of suffocation and choking are mainly
> > visual symptoms.
> > A totally blind parent, left alone with their child may find it
> > difficult to diagnose this problem or may require the help of
> > sighted friends and family.
> > I want to work towards making them feel independent enough to
> > realize what is wrong with their child and be able to take the
> > necessary actions, by themselves or just like any other sighted parent.
> >
> > I would like to ask you a couple of questions regarding this and
> > sincerely hope you can help and guide me through this.
> >
> > 1. Do you think this is a genuine problem? Is there anything you
> > would like to add about this topic?
> >
> > 2. How would you tackle a situation where your infant is choking or
> > suffocating but you cannot see the symptoms?
> >
> > 3. Would you like to be completely independent in taking care of
> > such a situation? If you already are, I would love to know what kind
> > of solutions or tactics you use.
> >
> > 3. What are some of the other problems regarding safety that you
> > faced while raising your infant?
> >
> > 4. What are some unconventional methods you use to keep your infant
safe?
> >
> > 5. What is/was the most worrisome part of raising an infant?
> >
> > 6. What are some solutions you would suggest?
> >
> > 7. Would you like to say anything apart from the questions?
> >
> > I am looking forward to a constructive and positive interaction.
> >
> > Thank you for your valuable time and help.
> >
> > Alomi Parikh
> > _______________________________________________
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> >
> >
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