[blparent] FW: [CWWC] Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

[Eric Calhoun]

This could be true of blind parents.


Original Message: 
From: "Jennie Facer via Groups.Io" <puppya=icloud.com at groups.io>
To: committed-walk-with-Christ at groups.io
Subject: [CWWC] Teamwork Makes the Dream Work
Date: 
Fri, 31 May 2019 10:27:12 -0600


So much of good parenting is good "spousing." When we keep each other's
love-tank full, we are better at everything-better parents, better friends,
better employees, better neighbors, all because we are not in starvation
mode. 

As parents, we present a unified front. We don't look for love from our
children to replace our spousal love. We aren't insecure, so we don't try
to be our children's favorite. Our marital goals are up to date and remind
us that our kids are only with us for a little bit while our marriage is
forever. Keeping this in mind helps us to parent as a true team. Like any
good team, we do our best to relieve each other's burdens. We can both
sense when the other has had a rough day and then take up the slack where
the kids, mealtimes, chores, or other duties come into play. The longer
you're married, the better you become at anticipating your spouse's needs.

While it may not be obvious right off the bat, many needs we have reach
way back into our childhood. Maybe there was food scarcity, fighting,
abandonment, lack of engagement, infidelity, insignificance, abuse, or
other issues. Much of what we are able to do is meet our spouses where they
are at and help to mend the gaps in their hearts. 

While neither of us are psychologists, we both have spent a great deal of
our lives caring for and listening to people. If we were to boil it down,
we all need to feel important, special, noticed, cared for, and needed. We
also need to feel that those we love are loyal to us.

If your spouse is asking for something that isn't on your personal
preference list, take time to reflect on what the deeper need is. This will
help you have compassion and grace even if you don't resonate with the
specific need itself. Listening is key to understanding and gaining
insight. As you peel the layers back, story by story, often what is found
are pockets where the love they wanted to feel is missing and the attention
they so deeply craved is absent. With every faithful act of love and
loyalty, we begin to fill those empty spots and help them feel whole and
wholly loved. 


Jenn and Kumi
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  [eric at pmpmail.com]
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