[blParent] Tips for Self-Advocacy During Delivery

Sun Oct 25 20:10:44 UTC 2020

Hi Natalie

Such an exciting time, exhausted in week 35 no doubt but enjoy these weeks. 

My little man is 18 months old now but I still remember horrible interactions with medical and social care staff during my pregnancy and post natal hospital stay. That’s not to say I don’t remember the positive interactions and kindness of staff too. 

Assuming it is your first baby, you are on a steep learning curve same as any first time mum and that is what I reminded people of when necessary. I tend to stay away from directly challenging someone as it becomes a negative interaction. Instead I used the opportunity to change focus of the professional, that primarily I am a first time mum, then secondary to that I am blind. 

Often the blindness preceded but I try not to allow it. As an inpatient for 5 days post natal, I was disabled by the surroundings and attitudes not by my blindness. Speak up when you need to, this is your birthing experience, don’t settle for treatment like you experienced with the OBGYN referred to in original post. You do not have to apologise, defend, explain or justify being you, and vision impairment is only a part of that. 

Please do let us know when baby arrives, stay safe and look after yourself. 

Regards 
Nadine

> On 25 Oct 2020, at 12:02, blparent-request at nfbnet.org wrote:
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>  1. Re: Tips for Self-Advocacy During Delivery (Star Gazer)
>  2. Re: Tips for Self-Advocacy During Delivery (wisdom f)
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> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
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> Message: 1
> Date: Sat, 24 Oct 2020 09:27:57 -0400
> From: Star Gazer <pickrellrebecca at gmail.com>
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [blParent] Tips for Self-Advocacy During Delivery
> Message-ID: <5f942bdc.1c69fb81.c8b39.14cc at mx.google.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="utf-8"
> 
> You can and should let the head of the practice know what was said to you. 
> You can also have this obgyn banned from your room at the hospital, let the hospital know. 
> If it?s any comfort, this doctor is probably just a nasty person, I had a woman who was terrible to me during a blood draw when I was pregnant. Turns out she was nasty to lots of other women too. 
> If there is a nurse that you?ve bonded with, let her know too, nurses do have a lot of power and a lot of visibility into what?s going on. 
> If this is your first baby, you will be treated like an idiot. 
> I?ve had 3 children in 3 different hospitals and for whatever reason you get treated differently and better with each birth experience. 
> 
> I have friends who have all said the same thing. 
> 
> Remember, the hospital deals with the lowest common dominator just like school or church or any other group experience. 
> 
> 
> Sent from Mail for Windows 10
> 
> From: Natalie via BlParent
> Sent: Friday, October 23, 2020 9:56 PM
> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Cc: natalieccharbonneau at gmail.com
> Subject: [blParent] Tips for Self-Advocacy During Delivery
> 
> H
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> ------------------------------
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> Message: 2
> Date: Sat, 24 Oct 2020 10:22:05 -0400
> From: wisdom f <s.lovewisdom at gmail.com>
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [blParent] Tips for Self-Advocacy During Delivery
> Message-ID:
>   <CACZphresdC67eC5P9Drv_UhC2zTaYf_y1P6YZ39Dc4f+u0pJ2A at mail.gmail.com>
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> 
> Hello to all,
> I normally don?t post, I normally just read the emails that are sent out. I
> have learned so much from all of your insights. I just thought I would at
> this time share a little bit of my own personal experiences. I wrote a
> birthing plan, outlining certain expectations such as wanting to be in a
> room with me and my son by my side at all times, with the exception of when
> they needed to take my son out for different testing. I also outlined
> different things that are essential for my comfort level And absolute
> necessary things that I expect from the staff. Announcing yourself when you
> come in the room, letting me know who you are, identifying yourself. I also
> outlined very specific things that I am capable of and do not want to be
> questioned about. They did have a social worker come in the room and talk
> to me, and it was basically two outlined all of my comfort and things that
> I might have questions and need support. Just be kind and very
> matter-of-fact about what your needs are, And do not let anyone make you
> feel like you are not capable. Most of the times people are trying to
> gravel with the idea of something that they are unfamiliar with and unsure
> of how to help.just let them know that you  Are very confident and know
> what your needs are and you will express it when there is a question. I
> think by having this in writing before hand, and asking to keep it in your
> chart , even the nurses will have it on hand and will ask you specific
> questions in a different kind of tone. I found that it was very helpful to
> me. Hope it helps, just thought I would share my two cents. Please feel
> free to email me personally if you have any other questions. Sending you
> peace and happy birthing.
> 
>> On Saturday, October 24, 2020, Star Gazer via BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> wrote:
>> You can and should let the head of the practice know what was said to you.
>> You can also have this obgyn banned from your room at the hospital, let
>> the hospital know.
>> If it?s any comfort, this doctor is probably just a nasty person, I had a
>> woman who was terrible to me during a blood draw when I was pregnant. Turns
>> out she was nasty to lots of other women too.
>> If there is a nurse that you?ve bonded with, let her know too, nurses do
>> have a lot of power and a lot of visibility into what?s going on.
>> If this is your first baby, you will be treated like an idiot.
>> I?ve had 3 children in 3 different hospitals and for whatever reason you
>> get treated differently and better with each birth experience.
>> I have friends who have all said the same thing.
>> Remember, the hospital deals with the lowest common dominator just like
>> school or church or any other group experience.
>> Sent from Mail for Windows 10
>> From: Natalie via BlParent
>> Sent: Friday, October 23, 2020 9:56 PM
>> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
>> Cc: natalieccharbonneau at gmail.com
>> Subject: [blParent] Tips for Self-Advocacy During Delivery
>> H
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